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Original poster

his relationship to his ex is different to mine

24 replies

mopsera · 13/07/2010 21:38

..........close and is it ok he still visit her for several days at a time..and says he loves and misses her ( and vice versa)

OP posts:
nagoo · 13/07/2010 21:54

she's not his ex.

AnyFucker · 13/07/2010 22:02

mop, as lovely as you sound, I really hope you starting all these multiple threads about your cock of a partner will help you gain some much-needed clarity...

rupert22 · 13/07/2010 22:55

agree with AnyFucker, get rid, this guy is a joke

BrittanyBeers · 13/07/2010 23:18

Blimey.

He loves her.
He is fucking her.
As Nagoo says, he is stillwith her.

Where do you fit in?

Sorry to be blunt, but why why why would you let him fuck you about like this?

SolidGoldBrass · 13/07/2010 23:37

Mops, you're not with this man. Certainly not as far as he is concerned.

templemaiden · 14/07/2010 06:33

No - it's not OK - sorry. I would not be with a man who says he still loves his ex. Get some self-respect.

overmydeadbody · 14/07/2010 08:05

She's not his ex and you are just his bit on the side.

nickschick · 14/07/2010 08:19

Im not being nasty here.

I will tell you exactly what I told my 16 year old son who likes a girl who keeps calling him and facebooking him yet she has a boyfriend and they are quite definitely together.

move on .....you are worth more than this,step back and stop phoning back and 'being there' and everything will become clear.

He (and she-my sons wannabe gf) is taking the piss.

lazarusb · 14/07/2010 17:09

You know you are worth more than this. Tell him it's over and have no more contact with him.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 14/07/2010 17:13

He's telling you that he loves her?
He's spending days at a time with her?
And you're still there?

Love, either get out, or go down the tattoo shop and have Welcome etched down your back.

Sorry to be so blunt, but really, sometimes nicey nicey just doesn't penetrate!

rubbersoul · 14/07/2010 17:16

Seriously, get rid

GloriaSmut · 14/07/2010 17:45

Bloke is an arse. Right now you are encouraging him to play King of the Arses. So, unless you want a relationship with a womanising cockjuggler who plays mind games, give him the heave-ho. You are worth more than this.

SolidGoldBrass · 14/07/2010 23:19

Erm, Mops, if he has spent a lot of time telling you how much he loves the 'OW' is it not possible that he is telling you you are dumped and you are not listening? Was he ever aware that you considered him your 'partner' rather than someone who agreed to have a child with him?

Original poster
mopsera · 15/07/2010 23:07

ok.well, he has always been upfront about her; he just believes in loving lots of people at once; ( his ideal is the film 'carrington' )he doesnt sleep with her; i know she's honorable . we have a child and have been together 2 yrs, i know he loves me BUT i know he admires . / loves his ex too - in a different way..

what i wanted was to be ok with this, after all he is with me ;he didnt fancy his ex ; but what bothers me is the intimacy in an exclusive way that makes me feel very odd, and i've heard him say 'love you/ miss you'when he thinks im asleep late; and in her emails she signs off saying things like'yours' and 'luv ya' or 'your batty gf' i just find it very very strange -it makes me think they must have some agreement- and i think its very insensitive to me.even if im not supposed to know this stuff.i guess im trying to be 'adult' about it but i really just want exclusivity; and not to be sharing..i certianly wont do this again!

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 15/07/2010 23:09

you are very, very naive

and, correct me if I am wrong, trying to be "cool" and "woo" about this, when you are really not

Mermaidspam · 15/07/2010 23:21

YOU ARE HIS MISTRESS

rupert22 · 15/07/2010 23:29

Oh for god sake, are you being serious?

SolidGoldBrass · 16/07/2010 21:59

Sorry Mops but it's at least partly your own fault if you're miserable. This man has told you he's not monogamous. You are not actually entitled to a monogamous relationship with someone who has made it clear he doesn't want one. You're clinging on and hoping, and whining, and not only is this not going to work, it's unethical. Work out a co-parent agreement with him and move on.

Littlefish · 16/07/2010 22:16

He is not offering you exclusivity. He wants to see other people. He has told you this. If you choose to stay with him, then he will continue to see other people. If you don't want this, then you must walk away. He is getting exactly what he wants at the moment. You are not.

drloves · 16/07/2010 22:21

Mops - sorry to be rude , but are you stupid?
He tells her he loves her , he shags her ,he visits her for days at a time...
what more does he have to do to make it clear to you , its not you he wants.
sorry .
He is an arse , your worth more than the crap cruelity hes dishing out to you.

Nemofish · 16/07/2010 22:32

mops if I were you, I would tell him that I had chlmydia and watch and laugh as he runs to her panicing... ha ha ha

He's has manipulated you beautifully, hasn't he? If he is so cool and Mr Free Love, how would he feel if he walked in on you shagging his best mate?

SolidGoldBrass · 16/07/2010 23:48

I don't think the bloke is necessarily an arse. He's made himself clear. How much clearer can he make it? It isn;t wrong to want more than one partner if you are open and honest about it, which it sounds like this bloke has been. He's probably relucant to be as harsh as he perhaps should have been to penetrate the OP's delusion that just because she 'loves' him, he is obliged to love her.

Eurostar · 17/07/2010 00:14

I think he is an arse if had a baby with someone who clearly wanted a traditional relationship.

He's also an arse with the attitude he displays about the women he sex talks with on the net (other thread).

I wouldn't joke about Chlamydia, given his lifestyle, might be too close to the truth.

SolidGoldBrass · 17/07/2010 08:40

I wonder if the PG was 'planned' or not, though.

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