My sister and her partner have been together over 5 years and lived together for about 4 of them. They are both in their early 30's, both have good jobs, their house is beautiful and in a lovely area and, although actually owned by him, has been made into a home by both of them (decor, extensions, remodelling etc. all done together), they are well suited and had a lovely life.
My sister wanted to get married and have children, her partner said he wasn't sure if that was what he wanted. (this wasn't something he was particularly upfront about at the beginning of their relationship) Eventually last year, he agreed to try for a baby. Sister got pregnant, partner reacted badly and went into a bit of a panic about it. Sadly sister lost baby at 6/7 weeks and partner has admitted (since but not at the time) that he was relieved.
Everything went downhill from there, he couldn't forgive himself for the way he reacted and took at as a sign that all was not well with them. He felt he couldn't give sister all she wanted in life. Sister moved out to mum's but they stayed in touch - agreed to just have 'space' and see if they could sort it out. Partner has admitted he has issues (OCD, control issues - his own life, not controlling of her)He also seems to be very unhappy in his job and has body image problems. His behaviour during this indicated a breakdown (his mum agreed with this).
Move on 10 months and sister rented a flat for 6 months - she has now left the flat and was buying somewhere but this appears to be falling through (problems with valuation). She is back at mums for now. Told partner she wants to be with him no matter what but he needs to make the move - told him not to contact her unless he had something solid to say.
Partner regularly emailing sister's friends, me, dh etc. says how unhappy he is, says he loves her, wants the best for her, needs to sort his head out, wants to be with her, wishes he could turn back the clock, can't forgive himself etc. etc. and has been given numerous suggestions which he agrees with on principle but doesn't act on.
Sister says she can't move on cos she knows deep down he wants to be with her and she wants to be with him.
there is probably more I have missed out but can anybody give any advice on how this situation can be resolved?