Posted this on AIBU but got hardly any responses so will try here.
Poor mum is going to hospital tomorrow in order to have her mouth cancer treated. She has to have a huge operation followed by a day in intensive care and 6 months of radiotherapy.
We took her out for a coffee this morning in oredr to take her mind off things and I wanted to say a proper goodbye.
As we were getting out of the car my dad started rifling through my bags and I did snap at him not to bother. Then, before I had a chance to say a proper goodbye to mum he slammed the front door in my face.
I let myself in as I have a spare key and gave mum the goodbye hug that she needed. She started crying as she was scared and would miss me and my dd. I told my dad off for ruining my goodbye and he just started banging on about how I always tell him off.
If I thought he was genuinely upset about mum then I would forgive his shitty behaviour but I have NEVER heard him say thet he loves her. When she asks him if he does he just grunts.
They don't hold hands etc, etc. Not that mum dosn't want to but my dad is so fucking emotionally stunted.
He's also controls her financially and is emotionally abusive at times.
I just feel that his pride was hurt as I dared to challenge him and he cares more about being right than me having a proper goodbye to mum.
He is one of those conditional parents and can never forgive me for having an emotionally abusive relationship in my youth. He was a total helicopter parent and stood behind me when I made my a-level choices. ugggrrr.
He loves dd but if it wasn't for her we wouldn't have anything to do with each other. He loves dd and ruins her but is a twat to me
Slamming the door in my face today is just another incident to add to the reasons why I can't stick him. The last classic was when he told me to pull myself together a day after having my c-section as I had to inject myself with drugs and hospital hadn't shown me how. He then proceeded to glare at me with the most horrid expression on his face. I love him coz he's my dad but he's got a shite personality and I feel really sorry for mum for putting up with the wanker for so long.