Xh's family funeral - will find it hard to cope

[mellowdramatic]

It's one year since h and i split and i'm nowhere near over it. My coping mechanism is to keep busy with our 2ds's and not to think about it cos when i do i still get very upset.

One of the biggest things that upsets me is that although i am still close with his parents who have been brilliant, no-one else contacts me and i feel "dumped" by them as well as him.

It's his grandma's funeral early next week. If we were together there'd be no question i'd be going and i knew her well. But i think i'll be a snivelling wreck - i can't think about it without crying - partly sadness for her and partly because i'm grieving for the rest of the family who i feel like i've lost, and i'll have to face them all.

His mum and dad have said i can go with them - they've been so lovely. But I'm worried i'm not going to be able to hold it together though and am just going to show myself up. I've no emotional backbone at the moment. I'm sure i sound really wimpy but i was with h for 19 years and i thought of his family as my family - i can't just forget that.

Just wondered if anyone else has had this dilemma and what you decided to do?

I think if you don't go you'll regret it. Plus, it sounds like the ex-ILs have been complete stars, and if you don't show it might look unsupportive. So go, and if you cry then you cry - it's a funeral, and you won't be the only one crying. It may actually help with the rest of the family as well.

It sounds trite, but it really does get better with time, I promise. You won't always feel like this.

I agree, I think you ought to go. For her, for you and for your x-family.

Thanks for your comments. You're both right of course.