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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband has moved 15 yards away

8 replies

Querelous · 12/07/2010 00:18

I am furious. My husband moved out in April leaving me and our 3 yr old daughter. We had some problems.

But has moved in with a male neighbour who I have expressed concerns about in the past due to him asking inappropriate questions about daughters childcare arrangements. I was worried enough by line of questioning to go and speak to police. And when he suggested moving there during failed marriage couselling (he lied a lot) I told him It would make life very difficult for me.

Neighbour a manipulative, emotionally ignorant, selfish tosser who keeps waving and smiling at us. Sure he does it to provoke. His house is situated where we have to pass (usually on foot) a few feet away every time we go out. He sits / stands outside.

Husband erratic with contact and pays some maintenance but negated as he avoids discussing joint bills in my name. Very critical in front of daughter when around and I supervise all contact due to neighbour and other factors including his weed habit. Daughter very upset - though has improved a bit since I limited contact. (But husband did not turn up and he and neighbour had a party outside instead! Imagine how daughter felt.)

Hate the pair of them right now. Skint and can't afford more childcare (crap family which is probably how I ended up seeking rejection in the first place.

On benefits due to having to give up weekend job to care for daughter so can't move until I get a good job. Stuck inside most of time / doing free stuff. Suggestions?

OP posts:
puffling · 12/07/2010 00:20

Do you retn your house? If so, can you be re-housed elsewhere?

Querelous · 12/07/2010 00:26

No it is mortgaged and I haven't yet got help through

OP posts:
Northernchick · 12/07/2010 07:26

rent a room out?, ignore husband and his weird 'friend', get a job and improve your situation, work like mad and make life good for you and your daughter,dont worry what he does make a new life for yourself and dd, I was in your situation 10 years ago with 3 little ones. Got my head down worked hard and now I own 2 shops and have a lovely lifestyle, kids have everything they want and more. My ex is still were we left off, in debt, in and out of work in rented rooms: idiot!

usedtobe · 12/07/2010 08:28

is it a council property? (you could swap )
or is it private? you could always move! if you use same letting agency you are with at the mo they are usually pretty good with deposit etc
is your daughter @ nursery at the mo? she should qualify for free sessions if shes 3?

usedtobe · 12/07/2010 08:29

oh sorry just saw its mortaged

can you sell?

sowhatis · 12/07/2010 08:37

if you can sell i would. but as its mortgaged, you may not get another mortgage as your now not working. v tricky situation.

sorry your in this situ are you ex is being a dick

vintagewarrior · 13/07/2010 09:41

What about an au pair if you have space? Will free you time up to work. Also spend as much time away from house as possible, even just going to different parks everyday which is free. I am doing this at the moment to avoid dp. By the time we come home we don't care what he says as we've had a lovely day x

Querelous · 13/07/2010 11:14

Vintage Warrior aupair would be fab but sadly it is a small 2 bed flat, and we are busting at the seams.

Northern Chick I like your thinking and well done you, I have applied for some suitable jobs,need to pay enough for childcare / loan repayments, but not due to hear yet. And I also have MS which is aggravated by emotional stress and is slowing me down at the moment.

Thanks for all your comments.

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