Is there a sisterhood?

[poshsinglemum]

I've read a few things on mumsnet which suggest that people don't believe in a sisterhood as we are competing for resources such as men, money etc and therefore cannot be looking out for each other.
I find this really sad as I love my girlfriends but at the same time can see elements of competition and envy between us girls.
What is the sisterhood if it exists? How far can you trust your fellow females?

I do genuinely think it has little to do with your sex and it's more to do with things like your upbringing, your own moral compass, whether you're an optimistic type etc, and also your self confidence, or lack of it. Some people definitely do the "attack first before you're attacked" thing that sometimes manifests itself in what Posh is saying above. I think girl power is a bit of old tosh though really. Not even sure what it is tbh.

the sisterhood i should say. I love my femininity and embrace it wholeheatedly. To me being feminine dosn't mean being bitchy at all. It means being fun, frivolous, mischevous, mysterious, strong, beautiful and opinionated. It means being liberated.

I don't know. I don't think so. I suspect that I would feel guiltier about doing something to hurt a woman than about doing the same to a man. But don't know why.

I believe nope. I have never in my life had a girlfriend who hasn't bitched or double-crossed or just been plain mean to me. I give the fuck up, fair enough I was bitchy in my youth in the face of all the politics, but now at almost 30, I'd rather be a loner.

Most women are bitches it seems to me, I had a mother of 5, a woman on the pta, who I thought was quite sensible, bitch about a nursery mum. Apparently she does not like thin people . The Mum she was talking about was indeed very thin and foreign and pretty much gorgeous, she was also very pleasant and nice.

There must be people who don't judge and bitch and exclude, haven't met them yet although I live in hope.

i'd like to think so. i generally and genuinely feel warmth to everyone i meet, consider them friends i don't know yet etc.

i'm not competitive with other women, and i feel like i identify with them slightly more than men, being a woman myself.

i like men, but have mostly girl friends, a dd and am a girl's girl in a way i suppose. i like surrounding myself with strong women and supporting them. i know that there are bitchy women out there, i hear of them, or see their comments on fb profile pages (friends of friends, acquaintances etc.). luckily my friends and family are not like that at all.

Exactly, mama

I see bitchy women, I hear of them etc....but I don't have to be friends with them

Don't really see why there should be a sisterhood rather than just a 'personhood'.

No reason why you would expect women to look out for other women more than they generally look out for other people.

If you are a nasty person are you not nasty to everyone equally? If you are nice are you not nice to men as well as women?

Actually you're right, nasty people tend to be less equal-rights in their distribution of their nastiness.

I know DP has some very supportive and caring males in his life. What's that then, the brotherhood? Or just people caring about each other and being supportive/nice? Why do we need a female-specific word for it?

I don't think there is - women these days and also from what I've seen in my Mum's generation competitive, gossipy, capable of letting you down and bitchy to have a fellowship. I've worked in a fairly male office environment and know I get on better with them that I would in a more female environment.

I'd rather be a loner than to feel obliged to be pally with the cliques in my DD's school playground.

I'm happy with who and what I am and have a few genuine friends (male and female).

I hope this doesnt sound too harsh, its just my life experience thus far......

well, TrillianAstra, the sisterhood imo is, for example, my female friends who i can talk to about issues specific to women in 2010. so i rely on them for advice on women's health, the role of a woman in society, balancing being a mother with a career, balancing being a mother with dating again, my identity as a young mother etc.

i have also met other young mothers specifically in my situation and we have formed bonds out of similar needs; we have helped each other with advice from everything to school work, building relationships with xps while being the resident parents, studying while parenting alone and working etc. these women have offered me advice and helped me, and vice versa.

i am nice to everyone, and i adore men, but there are many things that i relate to on a female level with other women. it does help to hear from other women who understand my situation and want to help me grow.

poorly constructed response there, sorry. study brain switched off .

I don't see that as 'the sisterhood' I see that as you having good friends, and having bonded with people who are in similar situations to yourself. You might have good male friends, or be in the same situation as a man and so discuss things with and help him. Or a man might do the same with another man.

My question on 'what is the sisterhood?' still stands.

well the situations i'm referring to are particularly based on being a woman. things that bring women together, common problems and goals. its something that makes me feel connected to and supported to women all over the world. what you're saying is probably true too, just don't think i'm explaining myself properly. i wish i coculd explain it better but too excited watching the match!

will return

at watching the match. I am in front of the match but not really watching - kudos for being able to discuss philisophical concepts while watching football!

A misogynist is a man who hates women almost as much as a woman does.

how profound, BA

Re the OP: are men a "resource"?

As for sisterhood, I am proudly a feminist, but my feminism doesn't mean that I think all women are great and without sin. I generally like people, until they do something really unlikeable.
I am, however, a terrible gossip and I do arch my eyebrow A LOT!

I think its good to look out for your girlfriends, but you have to keep your eyes open as in all relationships. My close friendships with women are different to those with men - there are more things we have in common, we can discuss more things, they understand more & are able to support you in a better/different way to men. You could also argue that because they are more likely to be in a similar position to you at some point, it is in our interests to support each other.

Also have to be aware that some men try to create distrust and suspicion between women, in a 'divide and rule' way. Prime example from BA there.

I think it's an profoundly depressing view of life to regard other women as competition, or 'the enemy'. It must make for a very bleak world view.

From personal experience, my friendships with women are all a source of warmth, humour and support.

Of course unpleasant women exist but there's absolutely no requirement to be friends with them. Such people pass me by, I'm glad to say!

I absolutely subscribe to the idea of the sisterhood. Don't shag a married man EVER; don't slag off other woman to get ahead; don't sneer at other women because they are older and less attractive than you.
All this plays right into the hands of the men who still hold the balance of power in most workplaces and many homes.
It's collusion, imo.

< high-fives janos, SP and HC ! >

Don't shag a merried person ever - don't slag off other people to get ahead - don;t sneer at less attractive/older people.

Not sisterhood. Normal (or should be normal) common decency. To everyone.

In fact I would try to avoid shagging not only married people but anyone where someone else thinks they are exclusive. Go sort out your other person then come talk to me, ok?

i have a mixed gender group of friends and always have had. i wouldn't talk about intimate gynacolgocial issues with the blokes but i would discuss most other matters with some of them.

i neither push women away nor am drawn towards them. i have some quite traditionally masculine hobbies but i also bond with the other women who do those sports and i sometimes enjoy an all-female coaching environment but i am most often in a mixed gender environment.

so no, i don't think i am part of any 'sisterhood' specifically.