Archers thread #183: The Scorekeeper's Apprentice. Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd like to share a hot tub with Mucky Mick, or other unusual views.

Spoilers: not on this thread, please! We don't wait for the omnibus to discuss the weeknight episodes, but we do try our best to avoid cross-contamination from https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/radio_addicts/4636789-the-archers-spoilers-thread-7-cant-wait-for-702pm-join-us-here, where spoilers are positively welcomed!

For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Credit for the title goes to @TottersBlankly who suggested it and @BeatriceBatchelor who coined this lovely phrase. (It's led me to take a look at the Wikipedia page for The Sorcerer's Apprentice. I had not known before that the animation in Fantasia that goes with the Dukas symphonic tone poem is more or less unadulterated Goethe, and the story goes back to ancient times. You learn something every day.)

At the end of the last thread, there was an apocalyptic tone as we were all bemoaning the lack of continuity and farming storylines (especially lambing, which used to be a big theme at this time of year). Are there any reasons to be cheerful? (Not just Part 3 - another reference for the older listeners here. ) Over to you!

Sorry @Bruisername- I’m sure your family flu is much milder than Will’s …

If Will were to die, George would leave prison a homeowner.

That would be quite the plot twist!!

I rather enjoyed George's thoughts about the eco-coffin industry, keeping his entrepreneurial eye in. The bragging about his dodgy grandpa is a problem, though it's easy to see it as protective colouration in gaol.

The green burial site is clearly unfit for purpose as the stiffs escape it: Nic was planted there but Will supposedly visited her in St Stephen’s churchyard a little while back.

Only if there was some money to be made out of it.

Jointly with Poppy.

Sure. I have to admit I feel Will’s demise would liven things up a little.

I believed in him as a gamekeeper, inheriting knowledge from George Barford and Helen’s Greg; getting proper training and qualifications courtesy of Brian; taking us to the back door of Home Farm house for chats with Jennifer and Brian; worrying about the birds; worrying about his predictably unpredictable family - I could picture his days and he was woven into the Ambridge landscape. Now … I don’t truly believe in his delivery job - it’s nowhere near enough. He wouldn’t find it satisfying and he probably earns pennies. He isn’t in a relationship; we never hear him with Poppy; there just doesn’t seem to be anything driving his story forward.

Obviously I wouldn’t want Clarrie and Eddie to lose a son - and heaven knows there’s a queue of potential cardboard coffin dwellers awaiting their turn - but at least it would be something that matters, and changes things in the village.

The flu thing was odd, why couldn't they have just implied Will would be there as well if he is to be a silent character atm (permanently?)? Why the need to make a point of his absence? Or was it some round about way of making sure the only visitors are Eddie and Clarrie. Perhaps George can be more himself with them rather than putting on a front for his parents?

Agree it's such a shame about Will, it would have been nice if he could have felt ok to go back to gamekeeping eventually. There's hardly anyone the village anyone who does a rural job now other than the actual farmers and we don't hear much about that either. There is no mention of the shoot anymore...did the SW decide it's too controversial? Over the years, they have sanitised country life in Ambridge to the point where it barely feels like a rural community anymore.

Realised I posted before listening to Monday's episode with the prison visit. So George and Eddie are going into the coffin business together? 🤦‍♀️

Where are they going with Rochelle? If she's been in trouble before then does she have a record? There is no way an abattoir would employ someone so quickly without checking. Another storyline full of holes before it's even got going.

Knowing the Grundies they would make the coffins from old washing powder and Amazon boxes.

If wor Rochelle wants to work in the packing department, she'll presumably be contaminating the meat. Prepare for the entire staff (and inmates) of The Laurels to be exterminated, along with anyone eating at Lower Loxley, Grey Gables and The Bull. It's one way to get rid of Peggy, I suppose.

I assumed she was either planning on doing some sort of release of the animals which was why she asked if they were held overnight, or doing something in the trimming department( holding someone hostage with a knife?).
If she's doing it alone I can't see how anything would work as wherever she works she is surrounded by people who would stop her. It'll probably be something ridiculous like she's able to leave a door unlocked and come back at night to let all the animals out, because of course in ambrigeworld Vince would have no security procedures or alarms etc on the premises.

Let's hope Freddie figures out what she's up to and she flees the village again. Hopefully for good this time.

i suspect she is part of a group

vince handing over all the documents 🙄

Even if Vince isn’t shagging Richelle before the story’s over, if she gets the better of him regarding the abattoir that would surely be enough to give Elizabeth ick feelings towards him.

Yeah, what could go wrong with this new enterprise?

If Rochelle had a past as an animal rights activist I’d be surprised Joy never mentioned it to Kirsty at least. Even in a ‘aye, our Rochelle loves the animals too. She’s a vegan you know’

Rochelle's interest in knives is a bit worrying, especially given the likelihood that she has had mental health difficulties in the past.

It doesn't seem to have occurred to George that the market for cardboard coffins is never going to be huge, and that existing suppliers have probably got it sewn up. I'm sure he fully intends to undercut them with his recycled egg boxes, but who's going to want to buy a coffin from a jailbird and his known scam artist granddad?

If he went for woven willow coffins it would be a bit more likely to succeed - lots of willow round the Am that probably hasn't been properly pollarded in recent years but could be brought back, popular product that can be sold for quite a lot, very eco-friendly business, plenty of scope for nature walks and good publicity.

But no, genius boy has to go for cardboard boxes.

Claim your pension Clarrie, go to stay with Rosie.

Coffin making seems a bizarre money-making route for the Grundys to go down given the reluctance of the SWs to kill anyone off. Though I suppose it could be a useful way to use up any off-cuts from the tree surgery business assuming willows were being felled.

The future is bright for a coffin making venture given how many characters re nearing such an old age

Maybe it's different out in the sticks, but I feel pretty certain that a slaughter house isn't exactly set up to house animals overnight.

Nevertheless I quite expect to find that Rochelle and team will liberate some angry young beef cattle that go on to cause tremendous damage to property or people. If it means that Rochelle flees the County (or better still the Country), I'm all for it.

I can't help thinking that the Grundys would be far better off focussing on something like bee-keeping/honey up at Grange Farm (which presumably still has a bit of land), rather than all these mad-cap schemes that the SWs won't bother to research properly.

Perhaps Rochelle will be trampled to death by the escaping cattle. Fine with me, as long as they don't bump Freddie off too.

Cardboard coffins always remind me of a really interesting documentary we saw many years ago about funerals. There were several contrasting stories. The most moving one I can recall involved two sisters who laid their mother or father out themselves, working together. The one that jarred was a hipster type man of about 40 or 50 who found himself having to organise his aunt's funeral. Presumably he was also in line to inherit her estate. He would have known her all his life, so maybe he was genuinely confident that she would have liked his approach, but the impression I was getting was that his very elderly aunt had been a pillar of the church and her local community in Northern Ireland and she and her friends would have been nonplussed by his decision to buy a cardboard coffin for her and decorate it himself with a few random splodges and swirls. It was all very much 'This is what she should have wanted so this is what I will do' and I could not rid myself of the suspicion that he didn't want to spend the money on a conventional coffin. It felt disrespectful to me, even though there is no logical reason to spend a lot of money on a coffin, given what it's for.

I’m not too sure where Casey Meats has his slaughterhouse, but I did wonder whether the young bullocks could be sufficient energetic to make it as far as Beechwood.