Archers thread #177: Will Bridge Farm get a PassiveAggressivHaus? Discuss The Archers here.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Thank you, @PseudoBadger, for kicking off this long, long series of Archers threads.

All views on The Archers welcome here! New blood welcomed, and of course we are always delighted to welcome back former or occasional listeners/posters. We don't all agree on all points, although we do mostly try to be civil about it. Most of us are posting tongue in cheek a lot of the time, so don't worry about revealing that you'd love to have a moribund camper van parked indefinitely outside your home, or other unusual views.

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For newer listeners, lurkers or those who just have no idea what we're talking about, @DadDadDad has created this useful thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/radio_addicts/3557323-For-Archers-fans-a-guide-to-acronyms-on-the-long-running-discussion-threads-and-any-other-meta-thread-questions-you-may-have - BOOP point for him! (See thread for explanation.)

Over to you!

Joy is so annoying

PREACH

I will just mention that when I had a passably significant birthday this year, my daughter rang ME, not my DH, to invite us out for a meal on the river, and explained to me that she had done this, rather than checking with him first to make sure we'd be able to come, just so that I could be entirely sure she was not giving me a surprise party. I greatly appreciated this consideration on her part: I would have been absolutely furious if she'd lied to me about what was going on, which is what surprise parties mean someone has done. DH appreciated it too, since he would have been the one who had to deal with my outrage and indignation when I found out.

In any case, about half the fun of celebrating a special occasion is anticipating the event; and as Pat said, "If I'd known what was being planned I would have dressed up a bit" (or wtte).

@AskingQuestionsAllTheTime , we don't do surprise parties in our family either. It seems like being sneaky at the birthday person's (not financial) expense.

I get it in that it would be lovely to get all the tribe together, but there are some who would not be welcome, so it would be complicated, and apart from that, there are too many of us for it not to be overwhelming.

An ex- from long ago threw a surprise party for me at his flat on my 40th. As he knew very few of my friends, and had no way of contacting the ones he did know, it turned out to be us + 4 people, as follows:

My dentist, who was an ex-boyfriend from about 15 years earlier. It was lovely to see him socially!
His wife, whom I had never met. She was clearly unhappy to be there.
An ex-flatmate who knew the ex (I hadn't seen her for 20 years, but the ex was still friendly with her).
A very needy woman I actively disliked who lived locally.

As we had gone out for the evening on the promise of a surprise meal somewhere nice, I was not thrilled.

DH once did that to me - said we were going for dinner and I was tired and didn’t dress up and he was trying to encourage me too and which made me less inclined

on the way there it dawned on me that he had invited other people. Turned up and it was one of my friends and 5 of his 🙄

Ah, the present of a side-saddle.

I’m still reeling at David saying how excited he was at the thought of Pat topless 50 years ago. I am still a bit worried he is going to walk in on her in the shower at some point as we know how much the SWs enjoy French farce…

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/dec/13/rapid-spread-of-bee-killing-asian-hornets-halted-in-uk

Well done Ben.

Some old people can be very selfish. I'm looking at Jill and to a lesser extent Leonard.

I wish someone would dead Jill, an unpleasant character. In my eyes she sealed her fate when she was so horrible to Ben which, I believe along with Vince's nastiness, contributed to his breakdown. Elizabeth should have ditched Vince there and then. She went down in my estimation after that

Me and my DH knew each other in passing for a few months, but we got together properly and then married 5 months later (for reasons i can't remember now. Everyone thought i was pregnant...)

And here we are 40 years later, whenever i say "I'm leaving you" he says "I'm coming with you".

Joy is so annoying - i usually love a Geordie/NE accent but i always feel she puts on the accent/dialect and it just sounds overdone. and I want to know her backstory now, this has gone on long enough.
Mick. Urgh.

and Pat's voice grates so bloody much. She talks as though she has a mouth full of soup and was extra annoying in the latest ep.

Ho hum. That was a WHOLE episode on one topic. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Perhaps the ironing is actually quite good as gentle exercise? Quite possibly - I think housework is what keeps my own 87-year-old mum moving. It was the fact she was simultaneously making shortbread that didn’t ring true - especially hearing her voice (which signals old age and general decrepitude in the same way Gavin’s consumptive cough signals dereliction).

To me they did Jill dirty with that Ben thing and I found it unbelievable

and yes Vince was a knob but he was also being a parent at that point. Making Beth disappear so we could all feel sorry for Ben was a bit ick.

the whole SL was bullshit so I can’t really judge any of the characters involved

i think many old people are seen as selfish by younger ones when they (the older ones) finally decide it is their turn to sit back and be looked after a bit. In Jill's case she has more than earned it.

There's a lot of luck involved with relationships (obviously). I met Mr Gasp 44 years ago, started going out with him a couple of months later, engaged two months after that, married 18 months later. Would probably have been sooner but we were both students at the time. My parents didn't say 'Are you sure?' but I bet they were thinking it. Could easily have gone wrong, but as it happens, it didn't, and here we are. Fortunately the chance that he will arrange a surprise party for me is 0. I have always made it very plain to all my family that I would hate it, for all the reasons already mentioned. Horses for courses, though.

How odd it is that Pat has no contact whatsoever with anyone from her side of the family, and nor do any of her children. You'd expect just the occasional brief mention, wouldn't you?

Yes - isn’t the beauty of radio that you can have silent? A throwaway line about how nice it is that x made it

I’m just happy that we haven’t had any cringe-inducing bedroom-adjacent scenes from Pat and Tony. The SWs seemed to be quite fond of those for a while.

Gavin’s cough is obviously put on and therefore Telling Us Something. Jill’s quavery voice is very much not put on and in fact jars with her lines about ironing and making shortbread. I wish the SWs would either write her character to fit her voice or gracefully “retire” her.

Good point re Pat’s family. Other characters do have relatives outside Ambridge that get mentioned.

yes, the lack of contact with the Welsh side of Pat's family is very strange.

I was 21 when i got married - the registrar actually took me aside and asked if i was being somehow coerced and did i know what i was doing?

I put our marriage-longevity down to the fact that - we were both in the army for quite a while - we were separated, by oceans at times, for a good deal of time.

did anyone else get a twitch of sadness at the mention of what Tony's mum wrote in their guest book?

Aw

Yeah and the mention of John. It feels like this is the set up fora Tragic Ending

did anyone else get a twitch of sadness at the mention of what Tony's mum wrote in their guest book? Yes.

I was 21 when we got married and I now feel disgruntled that the Registrar didn't ask me if I knew what I was doing! Although, tbh, it was so long ago that my memory of the day is extremely hazy. Perhaps he did.

I just want to acknowledge @CaptainMyCaptain post - made me smile!

@Brefugee - your DH's line also cracked me up.

Re older people being selfish, see the thread on grandparents not doing enough childcare! I was gobsmacked that someone will have a baby and then moan that someone else is not looking after it for free.

(I am a granny tho only 50 and I do have dgs once a week at least as does his grandad, but my dd was only 19 when she had him and we are supporting her to get through uni).

Back to TA. Yes come on with the Joy story line. Mick is awful and it's rubbing off on Joy. The way she goes on about Helen's house. It's not hers!!! And her brilliant organising only to palm it off on ian. It's very weird and I'm thinking will come to a head.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g i only remember the registrar asking because when we went in to see him prior to the ceremony, my wittness went in to say hi to my DH-to-be and the registrar thought he was marrying her, so we had a bit of a laugh right at the start about me running away and leaving her to it. And since they were both sitting down and i was still standing he just came round the desk and took me outside to ask the question!

ETA: it just occurred to me that if Pat is 100% Welsh, the wunder-twins are more Welsh than English, aren't they? Because Tom is then 50% Welsh, and Natasha is 100% Welsh, so they are 75% Welsh? Apropos of absolutely nothing.

It upsets my DM greatly that most of her DGC don't iron anything. Indeed, I am not sure my DC even own an iron. It certainly doesn't look like it. Lovely! Just the sort of catty comment my own DM was so good at! (That’s a genuine compliment, by the way)

@Gonners No one else in Brownies was any good at it or even enjoyed it. So I can send it quickly and efficiently, but have never had the chance to learn to read it.

Perhaps the ironing is actually quite good as gentle exercise? It’s good at getting clothes dry for the generation who grew up before tumble dryers and central heating. (In other climates, it’s good for seeing off parasites)

It’s good at getting clothes dry for the generation who grew up before tumble dryers and central heating. (In other climates, it’s good for seeing off parasites)

My DM packed my DB off to uni with an iron so he could keep himself respectable. He did use it but only for making "toast" when he couldn't be bothered to walk to the kitchen.

Pat doesn't have a Welsh family. She arrived in Ambridge to work for her uncle.
As she was marrying an Archer she was an only child. Same as Ruth.
Men who marry Archers are either only children or have one sister.
Tis the law.