Where to live between Somerset and Surrey - what's Southampton like? Other ideas?

You should get MNHQ to change your title to mention to Southampton, then you'd probably get more responses.

I don't know the city specifically but a university town is often a pleasant and lively place to live. It's quite different to Salisbury though, much bigger.

We live under half an hour from Salisbury / there are much cheaper villages very close to Salisbury that you can consider - places like ludgershall, amesbury etc.

If you want more of a city style life with galleries etc I'd actually suggest you look at Southsea which is the bottom of Portsmouth. Slightly further to your family but good motorway and train connections. Much nicer atmosphere than Southampton for me personally.

Somewhere like Romsey just outside Southampton may be suitable. Good schools and ambience but less culture and could pick something up within your budget.

I live in Southampton. Romsey is much more expensive, as is Salisbury.

Southampton is a city with great, good and bad bits like any other. What's your list of wants/needs? Price range?

A warning about Southsea - it's an absolute bugger for parking.

Southampton is horrible. Good shopping but full of deteriorating concrete buildings, put up after the war, plus loads of air pollution from the busy roads. Handy to travel from though and has a great university.

North/northwest Wiltshire ticks all of your boxes.

Property can be expensive but you should be able to find something for £350k easily.

Another vote for Southsea - although I agree that parking can be hellish. We lived there for many years till 2007 (I was born there) and even when we bought somewhere in a naice, leafy street with residents' parking permits, there was still no guarantee of getting to park in your own road. It became a family joke that if someone moved from their spot after DH arrived home and had had to park elsewhere, I would lie stand in the space till he went to move his car.

One house we owned we rented a garage locally but obviously that's not always an option.

However, I'd still choose Southsea any day over Southampton (I went to uni there and met DH who was local) which, whilst it has good shopping if the big names are your thing, hasn't as much charm or character as Southsea imho and much of the housing stock feels too suburban for my tastes.

Salisbury is lovely too. Between 2011 and 2014 we lived in a village 30 minutes drive away and Salisbury was where we shopped. DH would move there tomorrow (or better still buy back our old village house) and I'm probably in agreement with the former. Also Chichester, perhaps?

I’m not sure Southsea meets the OPs requirements. Parking is hideous, it’s expensive and congested, and schools are pretty poor unless you go private.

I would say if your main criteria are
somewhere with job opportunities in tech/programming.
Somewhere with a lively cultural scene (galleries, theatre, museums, events etc).

Then you should consider Bournemouth too (quite a lot of financial services firms based there which will include tech / programming)
Southampton will also offer the same

Cirencester? Not sure if that hits the tech programming part of the brief though

Southampton isn’t that bad and has lots of nice 20s/30s houses in the suburbs. Areas like Shirley and Bitterne Park are family friendly with (recently) things like bakeries and coffee shops popping up. If you like theatre the Mayflower is great. Lots on for kids. People seem to be generally friendly. It’s near the New Forest and relatively handy for beaches albeit not in the city which is a working port.

Less picturesque but North Baddesley is a handy large village a few miles from Romsey with good schools and in the Mountbatten catchment but it’s less pricey than Romsey. It’s handy for both the M3 and the A36 back to Somerset. The Whitchurch area is worth considering for access to the A303 and a train that goes to London but is probably a lot pricier. You could also look at the Fair Oak/West End/Botley area.

West Wilts is nice and fits most of your criteria. You'd get a detached 3 bed for around £350k in many places. I live halfway between Bath and Salisbury which is great. Downsides long way to the beach and bit of a trek to either hospital.
Obviously Southampton is a city and therefore comes with better transport links and facilities but is much busier than Salisbury or anywhere in Wiltshire.

Chandler's Ford?

Depending on where in Somerset and where in Surrey, I'd probably think about going somewhere on the M4 side of Bath/Bristol tbh rather than Southampton. Somewhere like Winterbourne.

I thought Bristol but too far from Surrey.

Depends where in Surrey!

Southampton's 2 hours from parts of Somerset to be fair.