Hi I'm new on here, just wondered if there is any one out there with a bit of advice for me, this is my storey:
I have been married for 6 years now, we have a 3 year old girl and a nearly 1 year old boy. We live in a house in the countryside, in Devon. I have worked with my husband, window cleaning for the past 5 years (all money made went in to the house to pay bills including the second morgage bill that he paid his ex-wife off with so he could keep the house) and in that time having our 2 children. Now before we got married we went through different things we wanted in the marriage how many children etc, what we also agreed on was that because the house used to belong to my husband and his ex-wife we would live in it for a short time and then look to move. Over the years the stress of the house and the stress of our finacial problems grew and grew (my husband had been caught a couple of times either sleeping in his truck, reading the newspaper or hours of chating to customers, when he could of been making some money to support his family).
Any way depression started two months before I had my second baby didn't think much of it because I've always been a healthy person, then they said I had post natal depression and put me on a anti-depressent, it made me black out and drop my baby boy when he was seven weeks old, a week later my mother in law took the children and I out for the day she drove because I was still having dizzy spells from the medication and on the way home she fell asleep at the wheel and crashed the car, writting the car off. No one was badly hurt, but now I have to deal with post traumatic stress as well. I used to get so upset and would tell my husband that I couldn't cope but he would just that I could and don't be silly. In the months to come these stresses got so bad that I had a mental break down, nearly hit my baby boy who was then 8mths, because he wouldn't stop crying because, he was hungury and I couldn't sort it out, I just went to pieces the next day at the doctor's, my Dr was very good and arranged for the children to be looked after during the day for the first two weeks while I went in to a mental health hospital, I was inthere for a month, after trying quite a few medications on me, they found one to stabalise my mood. I went to stay with my dad in Kent, because no way was I able to live back in my husbands house again, the stresses from befor, would still be there and I would end up in hospital again or worse.
Since going in to hospital my husband refuses to support me financial, he keps saying he hasn't got any but then goes and buy's non essential things like a new phone, ( I litrually have had no money at all not even for Tampon's for the last 3 months, I've had to ask my father if I can get them when he does the food shop, it's so embarassing), Anyway now my husband is saying he doesn't want to move from his house because it's his trophy house from his last marriage, and he has equity in that house which he will loose if he sell's and rent's, I've been trying for the last 3 months to get benifit money so I'm not putting on my dad and trying to fill out different property forms like council housing registation forms because we can't afford anything else than that to rectify the situation. The children live with my husband at the moment because there's no room in my fathers house (I'm sleeping on the floor in the front room at the moment) and my sisters how live 10 mins from my fathers house has offered to have one of the children for a bit while things get sorted with the house but he doesn't want to do that he want's them with him. Also the childrens nursary manager has said to us that my 3yr old daughter is showing signs of seperation anxiety because I'm not able to be there for her.
I just don't know what to do. Please, can anyone give a bit of advice on what to do.
I'm sorry my storey is so long, but a lot has happened in a year.
I also want to thank everyone in advance who has taken the time to read this and give thier thought's.
Elizabeth