Need to move to a new area - help me decide what's important.

[Treats]

DH and I live with 5mo DD in a fairly smart area of London but can only afford a two bed flat here. We're perfectly happy for the time being but know that we'll want to move in a year or two - we'd like a garden for DD and some more room for her to run about. Can't rule out the possibility of a second DC at some point either.......

We're just at the stage of discussing possibilities at the moment, and have thought about two completely different places in the last week. I just can't decide which would be best:

Area 1 - a commuter village outside London but with a good train link into town and close to two major towns with all the facilities we could need - good shopping, entertainment, etc. Close to where my sister lives and convenient for our families to get to. Could just about afford a three bed house here. Nice community feel and lots of open spaces around.

Area 2 - a less posh suburb of London - further out from the centre than where we are now and a 'pound-shop-and-halal-butchers' kind of high street. Surprised to find we could actually afford a really nice 4 bed on the same street as some close friends and more friends moving into the area soon. Quite a long way from any open space and quit e a lot of trafficy hell. Difficult for our families to get to.

It might sound - on the face of it - that I've already made my up in favour of Area 1 but we've got history of moving out of town. We lived in another commuter town a few years ago when DH worked nearby and I absolutely hated it. I actually got diagnosed with depression which cleared up when we moved back to London. I hated being isolated from all my friends in London and there being nothing to do at the weekends. The nearest big town had very little going on and we never got to know anyone there, because I was always travelling back to london for work and my social life.

But I wonder if I'll feel differently now that I have a family. I'd be interested to hear from anyone else who's had to choose between moving to a different suburb or moving out of a big city entirely. What helped you choose and would you change your mind if you could do it again?

schools, schools and schools.

You won't care about any of the other stuff when your child is 4 - schools will be your number one thing.

If you are going to make the move you may as well go outside the M25. We moved out of London pre children and have never looked back. If you move to a commuter town you will probably find lots of other families have moved out of London too after having children.

If you are worried there won't be enough to do in a village maybe you should move to one of the two towns you mention. Then there would be more going on.

I think it is a good idea to bear schools in mind as with the cost of moving you won't want to move again near a good school in a few years time. Check the admissions criteria of the primary schools too - some have church places, others take those living nearest or sometimes a combination of the two.

Now you have a child you will find moving out a very different experience. You will probably soon meet lots of other families and make new friends. You will probably find some of your London friends follow you and move out too.

Thanks for that response ladies - I suppose I knew that schools will end up being the most important factor. I think I need to put a bit more effort into finding out about them - I've got a bit lost in SATs results and Ofsted reports and I don't really know what I'm looking for. But it sounds as if a small house near a good school is a better bet than a larger house near a 'bad' school in the long run, regardless of any other factors such as traffic or proximity of friends and family.

The big towns nearby to the commuter village are probably out of our price range snowlady otherwise I would definitely consider them.

If anyone else has an experience to share i'd love to hear about it. Thanks

Had EXACTLY the same experience 4 yrs ago. Think may have made wrong decision. Moved within in London, got DS into lovely primary, he's made lots of friends..we are fully settled and happy and love living in London BUT the secondary schools are dreadful and we can't afford to go private. SO we will probably have to upsticks and uproot the family which will huge deal for the DCs when we could have settled into a new area much more easily when DS was tiny.

I would think long term and move before starting school at least.

HTH

Thanks amiheckaslike. I've been mooching on the Education boards since receiving the first posts and was quite shocked to discover how early on you have to start thinking about secondary schools. Some schools will only take pupils from specific feeder schools and you can only get into some primaries if the pupil has attended the nursery - so i would literally have to think about secondary schools before DD is 2!!

Secondary education does seem to be the real problem. Whereabouts in London are you amiheckaslike? Having looked into secondaries in SW London (where we're thinking of moving to) it sounds as though we might have some choice - there are some good RC schools for girls, and DD will be baptised in the summer. But maybe I'm mistaken or they'll be much harder to get into than I thought.....

Yes its definately secondary thats the problem - we were spoilt for choice with primaries and although it seems a long time away, seeing DS1 so settled in his school has brought it home what a wrench it will be to move.

I am in SW London too but have 2 DS's and no DD (yet!). Don't really want to give too much else away though -sorry!

No problem . It did strike me that the provision for boys wasn't as good as for girls - especially if you don't have the faith option. Good luck with finding the right solution for your boys.

But on the other hand, thanks for telling me how much you've enjoyed staying in London. I'm leaning more towards this option now and think that it might be the thing for us.