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Original poster

anyone else's DH/DP have a 'den' in the house?

20 replies

lovechoc · 04/03/2010 13:30

DH has always had his 'den' or computer room since before I met him. Ideally it would be better used as a bedroom, however he won't budge on that idea so we are moving house to gain an extra bedroom for DC2 due in the summer.

How do you find it having a 'den' in the house? Do you tidy up or leave it a mess? DH v messy and doesn't really tidy it up. Stuff everywhere.

I don't know anyone else in RL who has a whole room dedicated to computer stuff and graphic novels, CDs etc. We seem to be the only ones

OP posts:
86Pinkle · 04/03/2010 13:34

Don't worry, you are not alone! My DP has a whole double bedroom for his PC, graphic novels, Dungeons and Dragons rule books and Star Wars memorabilia...I have given up trying to keep it clean!

SoMuchToBits · 04/03/2010 13:34

You're not - dh has his study, and practicaly lives in it! It has bookshelves, a huge desk (with computer, printer etc) and his electric piano. It is a complete mess, there is stuff all over the desk, floor, window ledge etc, as he is very untidy and never puts stuff away. However it saves my sanity, as I can just shut the door on it and ignore it, keeping the rest of the house tidy . He really seems to need his study to retreat to - dh is quite a solitary sort of person really, and I think he would go nuts if he had to share his space with everyone else all the time.

SoMuchToBits · 04/03/2010 13:35

Haha, I have also given up trying to keep dh's study clean!

frogetyfrog · 04/03/2010 13:37

No - he would love one, but would only have one if there was room for me to have a den too, and he was willing to come out and childmind while I hid away. Equality and all that!

Original poster
lovechoc · 04/03/2010 13:44

Surprised at such quick responses! glad to hear I'm not the only one now. We recently had arguments about it and I said it really would be great as a nursery but I have to accept he's always had this in his life, can't change him, and realise we will be moving to a bigger house so everyone's a winner in the end.

We also have junk in the room, because we are running out of space, he's a hoarder so won't get rid of stuff we never use. I think my hormones are interfering too much actually because before I got pg, it didn't bother me as much!lol

yes i agree, it's easier to just shut the door and clean the rest of the house SoMuchToBits. 86Pinkle - a whole double bedroom!! he must really love his own space. DH much the same really, he needs a place to 'retreat' when he's stressed out or just wants to be alone.

OP posts:
SoMuchToBits · 04/03/2010 13:57

My dh is also a hoarder! Are we married to the same person????

Sadly, I lost my "den" when ds was born - it's now his bedroom!

Naetha · 04/03/2010 14:05

We have a computer room where we have 2 desktop PCs, a LOAD (and I mean LOAD) of Warhammer models, and various other geeky paraphernalia.

It's just become a lot smaller though, as we put a partition wall down the middle of it (the room was quite large before) to make DD's room and our (now much smaller) computer room. We generally keep it fairly tidy though - we have to because we have so little space, so we have lots of drawer and shelf space. We regularly have a clear out with a couple of box loads of stuff going to freecycle / charity shop / tip twice a year.

Original poster
lovechoc · 04/03/2010 14:05

haha, makes you wonder doesn't it! apparently DH is like his father, just hoards, won't get rid of a thing 'just incase'.

I suppose in these uncertain times when money is tight he has the right idea, but tbh, it's just not necessary...men!

OP posts:
TwinkleToes76 · 04/03/2010 14:24

Mine has an office in the garden - His mess would drive me potty if it was in the flat so I've banished him to the shed! We have less arguments that way.

SwarthyWaiter · 04/03/2010 14:25

no
i would have to kick him

MadamDeathstare · 04/03/2010 14:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
lovechoc · 04/03/2010 14:33

lol @ madamdeathstare. 'man cave' sounds about right actually, better than a 'den'.

OP posts:
piprabbit · 04/03/2010 14:40

My DH has 2 dens. His first is the study, which is full of computers etc. (although I am allowed a bookcase in here). His second is the garage which is full of....well, computers and stuff.

The DCs have their own rooms, DH has his own space, and I seem to end up with no space that is just my own. I have to share my space with DH, with the DCs. And DH seems to think IABU to want a room of my own (in a perfect life - money no object kind of way).

MillyMollyMoo · 04/03/2010 15:36

The guy next door has a whole loft to himself, he's a secondary school teacher, comes home from work and has to lie in a darkened room for an hour after work poor soul

cakeywakey · 04/03/2010 15:46

Am now suspicious that my DH is leading a number of double lives - taking over numerous rooms for his own mess-making and hoarding

Molesworth · 04/03/2010 15:58

piprabbit, I can identify with your post. I crave a space of my own. I don't see this as a man thing at all.

pagwatch · 04/03/2010 16:00

I left DH potter about in the kitchen. As long as he makes supper.

MumInBeds · 04/03/2010 16:07

We converted the garage to make a studio for dh, it's full of music making gear, computers, mixing desks, speakers and every type of lead you can think of but very tidy - dh is obsessive about keeping it tidy.

I love the fact he has it, he's a creative person in quite a formal working environment so without the space to 'let it all out' at home he'd be very unsatisfied - and it means I don't have to listen to the same bit of song over and over as he writes and practices it.

WynkenBlynkenandNod · 05/03/2010 07:05

DH works from home so we have converted the garage into a room. It's being finished today hopefully. The idea is though that it is an escape for both of us to use for when we want to hide from teenagers. He's going to have to keep it fairly tidy though as it will be a guest bedroom as well.

I have a little office in the house and we've just got an allotment which will be another place to go and hide for both of us once we've sorted a shed. We don't have anyone to look after the DC's so we can have a weekend to ourselves and after 11 years are feeling the worse for wear so places to escape to help us both keep our sanity.

mitochondria · 05/03/2010 07:19

Ours is full of computers, bits of computers, graphic novels and martial arts weapons. I only let him get away with it because the room really isn't big enough for a bedroom - it would fit a single bed and really not much else. Otherwise I'd prefer it to be a guest bedroom.

I do find it quite useful though, because I can just sling all the crap he leaves all over the house in there and shut the door.

He's also taken over the cupboard under the stairs (where I'd like to keep the hoover etc.) for a "server room".

I have nowhere to escape. I'd like a room I could escape to do schoolwork. With a lock on the door so the children can't find me.

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