My F**king Builder.

[PavlovtheForgetfulCat]

He took all his tools last week, after receiving an agreed additional payment (from the final that we owe him) To clear the loft for the final lot of plastering he said. To be able to gain perspective he said. (he did not do this last time he plastered and there is only remedial plastering to do now up there, the rest is on the stairs, hallway etc). He talked to us about this and that, all nice.

After about 30 mins, I became a bit suspicious, again that he might have done a runner as he took everything apart from a yellow bucket. He took is ladder, why would you do this if you were plastering at height? Anyway, I am naturally suspicious. It is part of my job, it is part of my make-up. DH was a bit worried too, but we put it down to being nervous about this job. And I reminded myself of his reassuring conversation about him completing and DH and I agreed we were being unecessarily suspicious.

He was not coming in monday he said, bank holiday, out with the kids, he said.

This morning, he did not show. Did not answer his mobile. DH and I have been panicking. Eventually at 11am he phones.

And he said:

His younger brother has been rushed to hospital, is critical, collapsed lung (he only has one apparantly) and next 48 hours are critical. it had only just happened. He would try to get his plasterer mate to help him out.

Now. I am very cynical. DH said, initially, he appeared genuine. But DH is a very forgiving person and sees the best in everyone. I don't. DH started to doubt whether this was the truth or a blag. But, we are very nervous about whether this is true or not.

I actually want it to be true, so he that it means he has not done a runner with most of our money and left us in a hellhole. Does not make me a nice person I feel But then I also think he is very elaborate with his stories, has been so far and this smacks of some bullshit.

Either way, this week is dead for any work. and I am getting closer to my due date. And now, calm, chilled relaxed DH is starting to pull his hair out.

Sorry. Half of you probably won't even know what on earth I am banging on about but I needed to vent as I am so annoyed and upset and stressed and fed up it is unreal. I have no space. I am not sleeping as I am sharing with a toddler who talks in her sleep and a DH who is smoking too much and therefore snoring.

Pavlov, I think it's extremely unlikely that you'll be covered under your household insurance for putting right the problems you've got. However, it is worth checking your policy to see what legal cover you have to get some advice on what steps you can take now. Most policies as standard will give you access to a legal advice helpline, and depending on your cover you may even have cover for your legal expenses so they can actually pursue the matter on your behalf.

Hope you've managed to get some sleep tonight and you get some better news tomorrow.

Hope you got some sleep Pavlov and that today brings better news.

If I were you I would be on the phone to the architect first thing TELLING him he needs to be there when the building inspector is there. If you can bear it I would also try and get the builder there. Although faced with the total cock-up he is likely to face humiliation/loss of face if that happens and I suppose that could be counter-productive.

You could ask building inspector to put in writing all that is wrong and then contact a solicitor to see if you have any grounds for claiming money back from the asshole builder as you now have to pay for someone to rectify his crapness/dangerous work.

Buda - the builder was there last time with the architect, when the floor was messed up in the first place. He was 'humiliated' into fixing it then, and he has dug his heels in ever since.

I do not want the builder in my home right now. We have tried to contact the architect several times. DH spoke to him initially, and since the potential structural problem he has not been in touch, DH has left 2 answer messages so hopefully he will contact us tomorrow. The architect has been ok so far, in that he got the builder's ass in gear to fix the problem initially. And I am hoping that this means all is fine with this additional beam. The fact he never said anything specific in relation to this beam and the fact the building inspector has never mentioned anything must be a good sign. Surely .

I slept fitfully, the night seemed to take an age.

daisymoo I do have legal cover actually. DH has so far asked me to wait, but today I will seek some guidance from legal professionals to with regard to ways forward. I have cover through both my home insurance and through my union membership at work.

I feel much calmer this morning. We worked hard at the weekend to organise the place somewhat so I think waking up to a home that is not a building site, as in, we cleaned all the dust away, and organised everything, covered up building related stuff, helps.

DD woke this morning saying she did not like her bedroom yellow (its a mustard type colour - blurgh) and can she paint it pink when she gets up ! So, she is settling in, even though we are still 'sharing' with her. She is fine. Just DH and I who are nervous wrecks.

I will keep you all posted.

I understand how you feel about not wanting him in your house. I would want him in though. Just so I could tear a bloody strip off him. I would have to be physically restrained too. Bastard.

Glad you think you may have legal cover. Fingers crossed.

Your DD will be fine. At that age they are very resilient and once the main things in her little life are there (you and DH) she will be fine. Good luck with the pink painting - that sounds fun and positive.

We are currently in Budapest but planning on relocating back to UK in 2 years and will be buying a house and prob renovating. Stories like yours scare me!

Well hopefully you will learn some valuable lessons from this. Not all builders are like this. We are very unfortunate, gullible and too trusting. I will not ever be so trusting. I will ensure everything is done formally, and checked a million times every step of the way in future. And I will not be afraid to sack a builder much earlier on in future either if it goes wrong.

I would love to go to Budapest, it is meant to be beautiful. It is on my wish list of places to go. Have you enjoyed living there? Do you know where in UK you want to return to?

Problem with having him here - just the thought of the conversation yesterday with him winds me up and I can see him turning quite nasty. Which is fine for me, as I am sure he would not be violent. But I am not sure DH would be able to hold back if he became too nasty towards me. I am not one to hold my tongue, although I am not normally quick to temper. I tend to speak my mind but carefully and with some thought. If it has not been considered, it will not be said, although that process can happen quite quickly in my mind (virtue of my job, have to often give bad news tactfully, such as, you are going back to court/prison). But the builder is not able to do this, so I should think he would shoot his mouth off if he is on the defensive. DH won't take kindly to intimidation.

noddy your CAT still has not come through. I will CAT you directly and am happy for you to pass details on to your sister if she wants to contact me, thank you

Have read the first page and the last two. My Dh has a building company so have a little knowledge and this sounds appalling. Paying cash was probably not a good idea (but I expect you know this now). No decent builder will ask for cash up front but will have a schedule of payments agreed with you. If they are worth their salt then they will be able to manage paying for materials etc. Did you have some sort of contract?

An architect and a structural engineer are not the same thing. Actually to call yourself an architect means you need to be a member of the RIBA. Not all people involved in doing house plans are, which isn't necessarily a problem, provided that they are not calling themselves architects (I would be worried from the honesty angle) companies offering building plans are not necessarily registered with RIBA. Listening to my DH's moans I know that architectural plans are not always great and can leave a lot to be desired with regards to the practicalities of building

I do know that structural beams/supports are there for a valid reason and would hope you can get your beam sorted out asap.

Building control are as good as the person doing the job.

Sorry this has become a bit of a lecture and I suppose I can get a bit defensive as not all builders are con-artists, charlatans etc. My DH's issue is domestic clients who don't pay. This amazes me but he tries to do as little domestic work as necessary (not easy in the current climate) as a result.

Good luck with sorting all this out as it sounds horrid, particularly as you are pregnant. Let me know if I can give any info. and I will ask he who knows!!!

Pavlov - I have been following your thread and just wanted to say how much I feel for you. I am renovating our new house at the moment and am 37 weeks pregnant, so I am well aware of how stressful managing a builder whilst juggling children and pregnancy can be at the best of times, let alone when you have such horrendous cock ups to sort out. You seem to have plenty of good advice on here so I will just send you best wishes for getting things sorted out quickly. Hang on in there, one day soon it will be fixed and you will have a new addition to your family and be able to put it behind you.

Harlot - we paid most of it by cheque, luckily. He is trained as both a structural engineer which is his main 'profession' for many many years. I know this to be true as he was the 'boss' at the local building control until he semi retired a couple of years ago, and he is also trained as an architect, but this is additional to it, he did this specifically so he cam combine roles and get more money I guess as he can do both! His plans were structural plans rather than full architectural drawings which was fine with us, as we were more interested in the structural element than where a plug socket would go. I had no issues at all with his credentials, I researched them (RIBA rings a bell) and checked with building control who gave him a glowing report .

I don't think all builders are like this, honestly, if they were no one would get any building work done! We were just very unlucky and niave.

Thanks beanstalk, appreciate it x

Pavlov - Budapest is indeed beautiful and I enjoy living here so much I put my foot down when we arrived 5 years ago and refused to move again! To the slight detriment of DH's career it has to be said. This is our 4th country and even now the thoughts of another move as expats just depresses me. I so want to live in a country where English is the first language.

Plans are to relocate to Somerset. Neither of us have friends or family there but DH was brought up there and it is the only place in the UK he can see himself living. He would stay overseas forever if it were up to him.

Good luck today. I really hope you get something sorted.

Pavlov - we went though something very similar a few year ago. We had an architect and a builder who signed a standard RIBA "minor" building works contract. The builder was apalling. The architect was useless (and the structural engineer wasn't great either).

Under the contract we were obliged to give the builder a chance to recitify any faults. By the end we had had enough so we drafted a very long list of them and said he had a 2 week period in which to carry out the remedial work. If he could not do that, we would treat the contract as at an end and would not be paying him any further contract sums. We gave him 48 hours to confirm when he would be in to do the work. Of course, he said he would be unable to do it so we witheld all outstanding monies. Our contract provided that a percetage would be witheld from each interim invoice and paid on certification from the architect that the work has been complete so there were monies to hold back. Does your contract have anything similar?

Although much of what went on in our build was down to the builder, it must be said that alot was also the fault of the architect. His plans were inaccurate and in places just plain wrong. As a result, at the end of the build, we also witheld part of the architect's fees, indentifying what additional costs he had contributed to and exactly how he was responsible for them.

If its any consoltation, after nearly 8 months of hell, I thought I would never enjoy living in our house as it would always be associated with the horror of the builders. However, 3 years later, although there are still issues to be resolved, I love my house and it has not been spoiled for me at all.

alas we don't have that kind of contract. We do have money held back, but not an awful lot as we advanced him more on the basis he said either we did this or he would walk as he had run out of money. Because of the mess up with our floor being too high, this would have meant we were out of pocket (if all had gone to plan we would have been at an advantage, but the work needed doing still), so we ummed and erred and felt we did not have a choice. A bad call, as it turned out. However, the lack of proper contract means we can also get rid of him as we have nothing to state we will do any differently.

We have learnt a lot this project, the biggest thing for us, is to get every tiny little detail down in a contract. The second is not to presume builders know what they are doing and check everything at every stage. thirdly, involve the structural engineer and architect at regular meetings whether there are problems or not, so we can have the heads up on everything that is happening, and fourthly, do not be afraid of builders, and tell them to get lost sooner if they do not play ball.

Pavlov I did send it! I am not sure I want to post her email here as she lives alone and I don't want her gtting funny emails

No don't do that Noddy, would not want you to give personal info on the WWW! - I have CAT you directly so you can pass on my email details. I have not received cat notices before so not surprised (are you listening in HQ?]

If the architect/structural engineer has stuffed up with regard to the beam, he should have insurance in place. I would get him on board with this and if it turns out that there is a problem I would say "presumably this is covered by your indemnity insurance".

Oh that is very useful to know goosey as I am pretty certain it was not mentioned, I have looked at the plans and cannot see any reference to it, but that might be blown out the water by someone more technical than DH and I going 'there' to us!

We are being positive.

Oh Pavlov. It sounds like you're having a horrible time. I do hope that you manage to get some of it sorted out today. I'm mad busy at the moment prepping for a weekend away and then a holiday 12 hours later, but once I'm back (28th), you're welcome round here for a coffee any time. Fingers crossed the beam is OK as it is.

I only know this as a friend of a friend is an architect and is currently being sued for rather a lot of money and is hoping it will be covered by his insurance. He may not have any, but I would be surprised if he didn't.

I hope it all gets sorted out for you soon. I feel your pain, I really do.

Thanks fourArms that would be good .

You guys are all great, I mean that. When this is all done maybe I should invite everyone round to share pizza on the floor of the new bedroom and if the baby is here, I shall crack open the bubbly

the inspector is here. I am very very very nervous. I have sent DH up there with him, let them do the whole male building type thing, but I am earwigging. One part of me wants to hear everything. The other part of me wants to go away and wait til its all finished.

I hate waiting

I am tempted to go into the bedroom and pull the duvet over my head, try to have a sleep!

Go up and listen.

Your DH might miss things that you don't and if he is like a lot of mean he won't remember everything that is said.

He is reeling off a list of things that need to be done to pass building regs...