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Problems with slightly, ahem, unhinged neighbour, not sure what I could/should do and the rules about disputes with neighbours if you sell....

14 replies

docket · 15/05/2009 10:38

I'll try and keep it brief...

We live in a ground floor flat in London with our two dcs. The upstairs neighbours moved in three or so years ago. Relations were always fairly cordial (although we were aware that he spends pretty much all of his days indoors smoking skunk and playing pretty loud music). Occasionally there would be some outburst (him yelling lengthy abuse out of the window, that type of thing), the police have been round a couple of times, as have other neighbours looking for 'that psycho'.

Recently the woman neighbour sent a request that we try and limit the kids' noise on weekend mornings, which we've tried to do as much as possible. However, since then I've had angry encounters with him, he claims that he's been sent bailiff letters mistakenly to our address not his and that he hasn't received them and that now 'they're on his back' (implying, I think, that I've thrown them away or something (which I haven't obviously)). Since then, he's upped his game, music louder than ever, lots of door banging, really rude if we encounter him etc.

I want to say something about the noise, which is getting out of hand, especially in the light of their request about our kids. I also want to set the record straight about these sodding letters, although I'm not sure that's wise, he is extremely volatile.

The nub of it is that we want to move, we're having another baby and this place is too small. IIRC there is some rule about disclosing disagreements with neighbours? Does anyone know what a 'disagreement' actually is in this context? And what would you do in my shoes?

Sorry for ramble!

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Shitemum · 15/05/2009 10:41

Sorry about your trouble, problems with neighbours is so stessful.
Aren't bailiff letters sent registered anyway?

morningpaper · 15/05/2009 10:41

If you are planning to move, I would just say nothing and put up with it

docket · 15/05/2009 10:42

Mmm, Shitemum, that's a good point, I'm not sure about that.

MP, I think you are right in my heart of hearts. I'm just fed up with it, I know it's silly but I feel a bit intimidated in my own home and I don't like it.

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spicemonster · 15/05/2009 10:46

docket you have my every sympathy - I used to live below a frankly unhinged woman who made my life a misery. I told the people I sold my flat too that we'd had a disagreement over sharing the cost of her replacement windows but it was resolved (which was true). I didn't tell them that she'd threatened to prevent me selling my flat (we shared the freehold) and that she'd misused her corporate letterhead paper to make threats to me all about it (she was a solicitor).

It's so bloody unfair - neighbours make your life hell and you daren't complain if you're an owner-occupier because then no one will ever want to buy your property

So in summary, if I were you, I'd not bother complaining, put up with it and just keep telling yourself it won't be for much longer.

docket · 15/05/2009 10:50

Thanks for your replies. You're right, I will keep schtum, painful though it is..

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Fizzylemonade · 15/05/2009 13:47

I second the whole keep quiet about it. Avoid any confrontation otherwise you will have to declare it.

It is very difficult, I know this as I have had awful neighbours in the past.

I think the law is an ass where this is concerned, you complain and then you can never sell.

Good luck.

Tinker · 15/05/2009 18:19

Yes, keep quiet. Horrible neighbours can really get under your skin though. Anyway, if he's getting bailiffs letters maybe he'll be repossessed

atworknotworking · 16/05/2009 17:05

Docket - I'm for you, we had major problems a cople of years ago shortly after we moved into our new house, to cut the long story short, we had no choice but to make an official complaint, which led to a restraining order, which led to further order's, which led to covert cctv in the house, which led to 3 court cases which led to crown court, which led to neighbour being sent to prison. Not a happy period in or lives you have our best wishes.

Anyway their was no way we could stay at the property (had 4yr old at the time which neighbour wanted to kill), so we put the house up for sale, we were very lucky and sold after the second viewing, I disclosed all details of the dispute including the gory bits, buyer still wanted to go ahead (although I still feel a pang of guilt that they are now stuck their) anyway law states that if you make the complaint official ie: contact your local environmental health dept and complain of noise then yes you have a duty to declare it as a dispute, you can be sued if you don't, however if you contact for advice but do not proceed to the official letter stage, then no you do not have to disclose the info.

If you do move make sure you go far enough away, we didn't, our old neighbours have restarted their reign of terror and we now have our house on the market again

lalalonglegs · 16/05/2009 17:09

Jesus, atwork, what sort of nutters were you up against?

atworknotworking · 16/05/2009 17:29

Hi lala, don't know where to start really, i have to say i get very upset when i talk about it, it feels a little easier doing it this way, basically it started a couple of weeks after we moved in the couple next door who were in thier 50's spent long nights in back garden, drinking and having very loud radio on, did'nt quite know what to make of it at first as our last neighbours of 12yrs were fabulous, so just ignored it, anyway one night well about 3am one of the other people in the street had finally had enough and called the police (after a bit of a row in the street) anyhow our neighbours must of thought it was us and from then on in our life was pretty grim, banging on the wall all night shouting through walls absolutely disgusting comments, it particually affected our 4yr old, neighbour used to call dd the little blonde F*er and shout that she was going to kill her, she couldn't sleep because of the noise so I slept with her, she was prescribed sedatives by our GP who I have to say was fantastic and still is, she had constant diaoreah (sorry can never spell that one) and sickness which stripped the enamel from her teath, she then got anemia, as she couldn't keep food up or down, and we had to hire a private tutor for her as she missed so much school (she had just started her first year)we had to take her to the toilet as she wouldn't be anywhere without us, it was the hardest thing not to be able to protect your own child and i feel so much guilt whenever i think about it, even though logically their was nothing we could do but leave, two years on and she is doing well, still gets the odd bad night but she falls asleep with me and then I leave her in her bed now, she's off sedatives and has started to grow taller (still in 7yr old clothes, she's nearly 9now) some things remind her like dogs barking at night - they used to kick theirs to make it howl - so we have to be careful that she does'nt have any reminders, i guess thats whats worrying me now as they have found us again and keep walking passed and near her school at home times, we try to distract her so she won't see them, we got in touch with the police about it and they said that they couldn't stop them walking around even though they have restraining order which the judge stated should be kept indefinately, so we are moving again further this time, life just doesn't feel fair, especially as our new neighbours are wonderful, kind, considerate people, i would suggest to anyone if you have a problem just move and quickly, it really isn't worth it and yes the law is an ass sadly.

lalalonglegs · 16/05/2009 19:51

[s hock][sho ck]

Yo u poor, poor people - I can't imagine how awful it must have been.I am furious that they can get away with it and your life is being controlled by their vindictiveness. I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this and hope that your daughter gets over it soon.

docket · 17/05/2009 14:55

atwork, your experience sounds absolutely horrific, you poor thing

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Fizzylemonade · 17/05/2009 19:31

OMG atwork

I do second what you say, the law is an ass and doesn't help only hinders.

Your home is meant to be your sanctuary from the world and becomes a prison when you have neighbours from hell.

I am so sorry for you and especially your DD. There really are some very unhinged people out there.

LovingTheSunshine · 17/05/2009 20:54

Cripes that is dreadful, I really feel for you all hun. I hope your daughter recovers from all of this asap. (((hugs)))

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