Bitten off more than I can chew

[Slowcoach24]

Help mumsnetters. I thought I was living out a dream - big beautiful house - a reno project - in a new location. But I just feel exceptionally down, and perhaps mildly depressed. All I see is all the renovations that needs to be done and I can't motivate myself at all. I question why we bought such a large house (5 bedrooms) - I was so excited by the prospect of getting stuck into the renovations, hunting for furniture, doing it up, getting creative. Now I feel almost sick about it. It seems so lavish and pointless - all this so we can live in a nice home. I try to remind myself its about creating a home for my family, but ugh. My mood drops as soon as I come 'home'. I don't trust myself to make good decisions. I feel like I'm someone I'm not - suddenly a person doing a renovation - when I crave my old one bed flat. I feel embarrassed when anyone comes round because I feel as though I'm showing off when really im cringing so much. I also feel terrible - I appreciate that I im in a very furtunate position so wtf can't I just crack on like a normal person. Are these feelings normal? I am prone to bad anxiety and depression. Please be gentle as I am at a low ebb, even though I know that's completely ridiculous.

I agree with spending some time researching how you might like each room to look like. Get a big A4 drawing book and make notes/ store fabric samples, colour combinations and photos. Send for lots of free samples and swatches. Nothing is set in stone so you can change and evolve your ideas as you go along and it’s an uplifting occupation.
Try to get yourself into a “we’re doing something amazing” frame of mind rather than being embarrassed when people come round. You could also show them your interior design ideas. It all takes time and often proceeds slowly. You’ll get there, everyone does.

It's doing up fatique and I've got it. This is my third and final renovation. What helped me was having the bedrooms ok (just painted and carpeted). I've still got the family bathroom, front and back gardens but I had to have a sanity break.

It all takes time and money but you'll get there.

Write a list and pay someone else to do it!

Also, be crap at DIY, husband now gets it booked in before I attempt to do it 🤣

I have to say, I've done a lot of renos and got exhausted from the relentlessness of it all. Every weekend, evenings that I could have been putting my feet up, no holidays due to the cost etc.

But every house turned from a wreck into something of beauty. To the extent I kept going into a room I'd finished to admire it.

The pleasure outweighs the pain.

It’s a version of decision fatigue.

You probably haven’t made many decisions because it’s just overwhelm so your head just ignores it and cuts off.

But really you have to try not to do that. I did that with ours in the beginning and have stupid regret about a few things when I thought this is so obvious why did I just not think this through. To go back now is serious money so we just won’t do it.

100% would recommend a designer as well actually. I think people can muddle through and it be alright, or even great.

But having just been at a friends and they are doing a home related project- which we are actually designers for. It’s made me realise why people hire us. They are really panicking about small things, over thinking yet missing the big picture. It’s going to look fine. But it could be amazing and it just won’t be.