Selling before buying and moving in with mum while downsizing

[bringonyourwreckingball]

I am selling the family home which I stayed in for 3 years post divorce so the kids could finish up their education with some stability. They will both be at Uni in September so I am downsizing. I accepted an offer on my house but have had 2 offers on new houses rejected and currently have nowhere to go. It’s looking like I will be putting all my furniture in storage and moving in with my mum until I find somewhere to buy. Has anyone done similar and do you have any tips on how to approach this? We have been decluttering for months but I am struggling now with deciding what to keep and what to get rid of whilst not knowing what I will need/have space for long term.

I know when we put all that f downstairs into storage for major building work, half went to the tip/sold afterwards

wished we’d just off loaded before hand and saved on storage

Get rid of as much as you can. I paid £20k storage over two years. I'm now moving again but I'm not storing beyond a garage.
It's difficult to know which bits of furniture you need ( wardrobes or will they be fitted etc) but just take what you love. Anything just in case will cost you money.
Market place is very active where I live.

I agree. Keep essentials like a sofa and beds and any free standing storage but if there’s furniture bought specifically for your bigger house try and sell it now.

Hi OP

I always advocate selling and renting rather than selling buying in the standard way, it saves a massive amount of stress even if only a few weeks difference.

However, how do your DCs feel about this? You’re selling their home at a time when they will be feeling quite vulnerable. Where do they “come home to”? Where do they call home?
For them it really could feel like you couldn’t wait to get rid of them. I get you stayed in a home you want to move on from for them, and this move is for you. I do wonder if the timing is wrong though.

re living with your Mum, enjoy it, accept it will be frustrating at times, relish the time with her.
as others have said, perhaps only keep things you are very attached to, this could be a complete new start.

I don’t have much choice about selling, or the timing, I can’t afford to buy my ex out of his remaining share of the equity. The kids are fine about the move, it has just been me and dd2 in a 5 bedroom house for the past couple of years and we both felt we were rattling around a bit. I had hoped to be buying somewhere they had viewed with me but that hasn’t worked out. They do know that I am looking for something with their needs in mind and I am staying local so they will be near their friends when they come home for Christmas. They have viewed 4 or 5 houses with me and we are all clear that I am only buying something which will suit all of us as a family home.

Having had to do this a couple of times - storage through your removers will likely be a cheaper option. You have no access to the stuff though and probably not long term - we did it when we had a gap between completing on sale and moving in to new home. Actual storage units where you can get things in and out probably better if longer term but be ruthless - after the cheap headline rate it becomes very expensive. For anything you don’t love cheaper to get rid and buy again when you are ready to move in to your new home.

Also please remember this will be an adjustment for your mum too; be kind!

We moved into a property we had to renovate so although we were living in it, anything non essential went in FIL loft (luckily it was huge and barely used). It was mainly all the ‘keep for sentimental reasons’ stuff like DD old school books etc. We got rid of sofas etc and sat on garden furniture for a year. As we have come to move ‘sentimental’ things back in we’ve realised they can be thrown away but at the time emotions were heightened because of moving etc. I’d have been furious if we’d have paid for storage for furniture especially if downsizing as it might not fit.

Be extremely appreciative towards your DM!

Oh, I am. But it was her idea and ultimately she is looking out for her grandchildren. I need time to find the right house that lets us move forward to the next chapter positively. We all had to deal with my breast cancer at the same time as the divorce and the kids going through exam years - I really need this to be a positive move for all our sakes and my mum totally gets that.

Gosh you've had an awful lot happening. That's so lovely of your DM to be there for you and the DGC. Don't forget to care for yourself, it's so easy to forget with everything else going on.

We were lucky we had space to store out stuff in inlaws place while we rented but unfortunately stuff did get damaged in their house ( old and damp) so we did end throwing some stuff away. we did do a huge clearout before we moved though. it really helped. wish I had done more as stuff in storage ended up being there alot longer than expected. I defo would do a big clear out and start selling donate etc as much as you can. think about roughly what size house you are moving into hopefully and what you will need. my parents did similar went from a 5 bed to a 2.5 bed. so much was sold off or donated (personally they could have done more as house still cluttered 😉 but sure its their house )

I'm hoping to do something similar but the vast majority of my furniture is long past it's best so I'd probably start from new or new to me. No memories of exdh swearing whilst putting it up etc. I also think I'd probably move in with dm and df for a short while just so I have breathing space to make such a big decision. My youngest will be going to university in September but I'll still have to consider her and space for my other dc, their dhs and my 4dgc when they visit.

Weve done this twice and my mum has done it once. Keep your favourite furniture and get rid of the rest as youre downsizing. We gave a lot to charity. But other than this the main things we had big clearouts with were clothes and kitchen products. If we hadn't used them for a year get rid of them. Again we donated to charity. We didn't want to pay a fortune for storage. I found this easy but my mum struggled and we had to have 3 sort outs before she had a reasonable number of items left that would then fit in a smaller space

I’m about to do this, and have done it before. The first time there was very little furniture but quite a few boxes, and I took my washing machine. The washing machine was a pointless mistake, it didn’t even make it into my new house as there was already one there. The removal men arranged the storage.

This time will be similar but more boxes, and a little bit of furniture, but it is all flat-pack. I’m being brutal about getting rid of stuff as I want to keep storage costs down, as I haven’t found a new house yet, but have almost completed on my sale.

I sold and went into rented initially for 6 months to a year but it ended up being 18 months. It worked so well!

I decluttered for months. I stored some little bits with family. Storage is so expensive. But I was able to take furniture with me.

This is where a decluttering/organisation expert would be valuable! I used one when downsizing to a house half the size of my previous one. A disinterested person can really help you understand what to keep, donate or throw away. Yes there’s a cost, but what’s the mental cost to you of being stressed and anxious? The woman I used also sold whatever she could on eBay, taking a cut. This helped offset the bill.
I’ll be moving again next year and will use her again.

Dilly from bbc Stacey's sort your life out show has her own company doing this. she gives great advice on her Instagram page. she grew up in a horders house and she started her business after living through that

This is exactly what we are doing now, we are going into airbnb for 6 months, we are in a 5bed home but will only be storing a 2 bed home contents. This is the point of downsizing. Im loving it. The stuff ive got rid of in the last 2 months is unbelievable but for me its freeing, I feel lighter with less "stuff".

@2longinthetooth as a matter of interest, are you going to stay in the same Airbnb for 6 months? Is there any sort of restriction on that, or is the owner OK with it, as I've heard various conflicting stories about Airbnb properties being unsuitable for anything more than about 4 weeks, but I could be way off beam!

the reason I ask is that we will need to move into some sort of rented accommodation in between selling and buying, but had avoided even looking at Airbnb as we thought they were unsuitable or had some regulatory issues (we will newbie between 6-9 months approx).

Not sure, just looking ourselves, I know airbnb do monthly rentals so we will take minimal stuff and if we have to move every month we will. Having looked on airbnb it depends on the host. From some of the comments its states others have lived there a few months whilst in between homes. Bit of a nightmare but a means to an end. We dont live in a massively tourist area and it will be for the winter months so im hoping someone will be glad to have us for a few months.

I had thought of Airbnb, but then when I eventually buy you need to show proof of address, so a utility bill or something and Airbnb wouldn’t have that? I’m intending to go into a ‘built for renters’ flat - they’re expensive but used to relatively shortly stays, and importantly for me, allow pets.

Just spoke to my solicitor about this he said its not a problem, as we have sold through him he knows us and our identity checks have been confirmed. The solicitor will write a letter to confirm this.