Taking a lodger when you have kids

[Iwouldaificoulda]

I am considering getting a lodger and would appreciate the help of those more experienced and knowledgeable than me. I live in an area with a big university and a big hospital, so I'm hopeful that there will be the demand. I have sorted the room and made it comfortable for someone to live in (as well as considering kitchen cupboard and fridge space). However, I have 3 young children and I am keen to think through everything I should to make sure that it is set up safely and thoughtfully, for everyone's benefit. I'm keen to hear any advice from anyone who has had lodgers.

Thanks so much

Have nurses over to visit. Really.

Id say the main issue with targeting hospital staff and students is that their course/work means they keep odd hours. So for instance, you can't have a rule where someone can't cook after 9pm when they arent home from work until then.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that it isn't the 1940s where doctors were all men and the nurses were all ladies and they'd "court" each other.

But that is not what I am saying, I am saying they would visit each other at their flats/digs and being a lodger doesn"t really work for that.

Why would "doctors" have "nurses" over?

People have their friends over, yes.

Maybe the "doctor" and the "nurse" have a sexual interest in each other, maybe they like playing board games, maybe they like having lengthy discussions deep into the night about gender roles?

As I said, i think you need to come join us in the 21st century.

I wouldn’t be bringing a strange man into a home with children.

I really wouldn't do this. Not with kids.

The basic drives of "doctors" and "nurses" have changed very little over many many centuries.

Of course you can"t, the whole idea is just ludicrous.

I get what offended you, but maybe the doctors in my example are male, and so are the nurses? Maybe a nurse wants to have some doctors over to visit, they could be any gender/sexuality, who knows, who really cares? The basic point is that you can"t party/entertain/ have friends over when the family you rent from are in the next room trying to get their kids to bed, the whole scenario is absurd IMO.

The way you framed it with doctors and nurses just seemed like something from Call the Midwife Series 1.

I was aiming more for Dirk Bogarde in the "Doctors" films, but of course even there everything is not what it seems apparently. DB"s Wikipedia page is interesting, especially his WW2 experiences and later thoughts on Germany and German people of his generation.

DH had a lodger when we first met. It was horribly intrusive, in honesty.

Yes, it is an absolute nonsense, looking at bond yields today though looks like a lot more will be doing it to pay the mortgage.

@KeepPumping what’s an absolute nonsense?

The whole process of having lodgers is an absolute nonsense because it doesn"t really work unless you are mates or something, and even then it can backfire.

@KeepPumpingactually think having mates as lodgers is potentially worse and the boundaries can be blurred. I have had 5 lodgers over the last 8 years and have never had a problem with any of them. I think a lot of it comes down to gut instinct when you meet them and I have never been wrong. It’s a really valuable source of income for me and I’ll carry on until I downsize. I’m still good friends with 2 of them.

Fair enough, harder to draw boundaries with someone you have known for years definitely.

What a weird take. Not everyone lives in their phone! And most people in the 70s (so half a century ago, hardly relevant) were only taking in lodgers for the money of course - why, did you think they did it out of the kindness of their hearts?

And again, what is with your phone obsession?

I work in theatre and often tour; many actors and backstage staff will stay in 'digs' (yes, producers don't put us all up in nice hotels, only the big stars); many of the digs have children. I'm happy with digs with family, although try to avoid those with very young children due to noise early in the morning when I'm sleeping.

Touring is often weekly, can be monthly, we usually arrive on Sunday or Monday and leave the following Sunday. We work 'late hours', so apart from the first day when we're usually at work 9am-11pm, we go out around lunchtime or later, and come back after 10pm.

It means that if you don't like a lodger, they'll be gone at the end of the week, plus you know who they're working for and where, and you can complain to the Company Manager if they cause problems.

Please consider digs hosting if you want lodgers and live near to a theatre that produces its own shows or gets tours in, but you don't want to commit to anyone for a longer term. Happy to provide more info if required.