Move from Salisbury to a village for more space, or stay for the convenience?

[Poppadop]

I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives, because I feel like I’m going round in circles!

We currently live in Salisbury in a lovely house on a lovely street. We’re about a 10-minute walk into the city centre, around 20 minute walk to the station, with parks, shops, cafés, schools etc all within walking distance. It’s honestly a really convenient place to live, and I do appreciate how easy family life is here.

We have two children, aged 2 and 7.

But deep down, I think I’m a bit of a country person at heart. I keep finding myself looking at houses in villages and feeling envious of the space people have. What I really want is a bigger garden, a driveway, more privacy, a bit more breathing room, and somewhere where the children can just go outside and play. I love the idea of a village community, walking to the local primary school, knowing the neighbours, and having that slightly slower pace of life.

The house we’re looking at is in a village about 20 minutes from Salisbury. It’s next to the village school and recreation ground, and on paper it’s exactly the kind of childhood I imagine for my children. I picture them playing outside, making local friends, having more freedom.

But then I worry about what we’d be giving up...

Living where we are now means DH can walk into town for things like the market, haircuts, appointments etc. (he works from home most of the week, so commuting isn't a problem, and he's unlikely to change jobs before retirement). As the children get older, I also like the idea that they’ll have more independence because they can walk/cycle into town and meet friends without relying on us.

The village would give us the home and lifestyle I think I’ve always wanted, but it would mean getting in the car for most things like swimming lessons, clubs, shopping, secondary school etc would probably all involve trips into Salisbury.

I’m struggling to work out what matters more long term:

1. Having the “dream” family home with space, garden, village school and community feel, even if it’s less convenient.

1. Staying where we are and enjoying the huge benefit of being able to walk everywhere, especially as the children get older.

Has anyone made a similar move from a town/city into a village? Did you love the extra space, or did you miss having everything on your doorstep?

Thanks!

Is the village on a bus route? I appreciate the cycling into and out of Salisbury is fairly dire.

I'd stay.

If the open countryside is just 20 minutes away surely you get out there all the time anyway for walks, bike rides, picnics, trips out etc?

I would also bear in mind that the winter months are long, dark and wet in most places of the UK so being in a village for months on end can be quite dull and restricting.

I'd advise against it. Especially if you currently have everything you need on your doorstep. Yes, in theory it seems like the dream living more rurally but as your children get older and want to go out with their friends etc you will be ferrying them about everywhere.

Perhaps see if you can holiday/stay in the area for a week or two first to see what it would be like. Also try this in the middle of winter when it's freezing cold and tipping it down with rain and you have to drive everywhere. Then think about what you'll do if your car is off the road...
Or maybe look for a suburb that's not so close to the city centre but would give you a bit more space?

Having done similar it is the biggest regret of my life. We now live more rurally as we wanted a property with a bigger garden, but it is to the detriment of everything else. We have to drive absolutely everywhere, don't go out anywhere now, are further away from family and friends and never see anyone. We've also put on weight as where we lived before, we rarely used our car as everything was nearby so we walked.

I grew up in a village and love the countryside but we've realised that we'd rather live somewhere convenient and be able to visit rural places than live more rurally where everything is a drive away etc.

Also living next door to a school can be absolutely awful especially at school drop off and pick up times where entitled parents park where ever they want.

Sorry, I dont mean to sound like a doom monger but you honestly don't know what you've got until you lose it. I literally cannot wait to leave and go back to the land of the living.

I think anything that meant I was regularly driving into Salisbury for stuff would be a life choice I regretted. Admittedly I approach from Petersfinger but traffic is hideous and that driving into Salisbury regularly would drive me potty.

Also how much do you want the grammar school system?

could you move to a smaller town - Romsey, Stockbridge, something like that?

It sounds like you have a good home in a great position right now. Why do you need to move?

I live in a small town that is actually quite rural. We do have a regular bus service, two small supermarkets, a fuel station and three pubs within a few minutes walk of our house though.

I wouldn't want to live anywhere so remote that I had to use the car for absolutely everything. I don't even like driving that much.

It sounds like you have it good at the moment but if you move to a place in the arse end of nowhere you could regret it. Your dream could turn into a nightmare, especially as your children become teenagers and you would end up ferrying them around forever.

Remember too that it is easy with the weather we have been having to look at these places and think how marvellous they are, but they aren't for everyone. Wait until the weather closes in for winter and you are having to make these regular drives in the cold, frost, sleet, hail, driving rain or even snow. Is it still a dream home then or would you regret the move?

Does the village actually have children playing independent on the recreation ground? Or are they all locked inside with their parents like most places. I’d be careful of moving somewhere “so the children can play outside” if none of the children already there actually do that.

Driving into Salisbury is a horror - but I'd still go because living in a village is so much nicer IMO. We live 1 minutes walk from ds's primary school and it was wonderful to be so close when he was young.

Do you go to the station/shops/cafes often? Having them there is one thing, but if you don't really go that often then what's the point? If you meet friends at the cafe every other day though then yes, you probably are going to miss it! Where will the kids go to secondary school and how will they get there is also something to think about.

We’ve just moved from an idyllic village to a town! We loved it and lived there for 17!years, but travelling into town / for services / socialising / teens became a nightmare. 15 mims from town sounds fine: but there and back is 30 and with teens you drop off, go home and then pick up later and suddenly you’re driving an hour a day. Add in activities at different times/directions and you are a one man taxi service! It’s not just the time - driving on lanes is tiring. I really, really appreciate being in town now. We walk most weekends - and that’s wonderful too. Sounds as if you have the best of both worlds. Good luck with your decision making.

@Poppadop We live just off Castle Rd so are close enough to walk into town, but also very close to the countryside which I feel is best of both worlds. Could you find somewhere still in the city but on the outskirts to have the country/city lifestyle? The traffic in and out of the city is just awful at the best of times, and has been made worse by all the roadworks we've been having.

Thanks for all the replies, all very helpful! The village we're considering is Dinton, which has a lovely primary school and great walks etc. Direct bus route back into Salisbury as well.

I think the driving force for wanting to move is we have a fairly small garden where we are. And I dream of a big open space for the kids. Having said that, the kids still enjoy playing in our tiny garden...and we do enjoy walking into town at the weekend!

A few of you mentioning the winter months has made me re-think a little bit 🤣

We lived in pretty village with massive garden and have moved to town with small garden because teenagers. They love it and my life is much easier. Also had to move them out of village school because it didn’t work out for them, so I was commuting for schools anyway. One kiddo got into SWGS and it would have been perfect for her but the commute made it unsustainable. Your kids will not want to be living in a rural village by the time they hit secondary.

Your ideal village lifestyle will only last until your eldest starts secondary school. Then you will have to think about how they will get to and from school, how they will get to and from friends, cinema, swimming pool etc etc. Then they'll get older and want to be out in the evenings...

For me, if was a choice between rural life and independence for teenagers, independence would always win.

Town Is definitely better as your children grow up. Being a permanent chauffeur is so draining and so much better for friendships if they can be spontaneous and independent.

I'd stay put - l live in a town innthe countryside surrounded by villages and there is nothing to do in them apart from the odd village fete etc -village life def not for me and as pp said winters are even worse.

@Poppadop Dinton is lovely, I had friends who lived there, but there is nothing in the village. No shop, I think there is a pub but that's it. There are lovely walks there, but I think it would be better to drive to them occasionally than drive everyday to get shopping you need, take kids to and from activities etc Have you looked closer to Wilton?

@longtompot thank you, yes I think Wilton could actually be a good shout 🙂 I realised this morning that there are so many clubs my son likes to try, all in Salisbury, that it would end up being a logistical nightmare. He likes to do junior parkrun too and we can get there in under 5mins. I can't see us driving 25mins for that! I appreciate that's minor and we'd cope just fine without parkrun 🤣 but things like that have reminded me how lucky we are to have all of this on our doorstep!

We live in a small market town (not too far from Salisbury as it happens) and our DCs when they were teens always thanked us for not moving to a village. There was nothing to do once you were home from school and any event anywhere required the parental taxi service.

In one village we used to go through to visit friends, the main occupation of the teens living there on a Saturday night was sitting on the churchyard wall.

I'd stay in Salisbury.

Not Salisbury, but in 2014 we sold our five bed house with 0.3 acre garden in a village between Salisbury and Shaftesbury to a family with three DC aged 8, 11 and 13 who had sold their smaller house/garden in Shaftesbury.

They threw themselves into village life and they all took up loads of new 'rural' pursuits. Our village - not naming as it's too outing - had a couple of village shops, pub and nearby farm shop plus loads of great countryside on the doorstep. They're still there and no regrets according to friends we still have in the village. So moving into the sticks works for some people with secondary school age kids.