Downsizing with kids, how to manage bedrooms? Or is it a bad idea?!

[XebraFish]

Thinking of downsizing to drastically reduce our mortgage. Have 3 young DC and would be going from 4 bedrooms to 3 upstairs - 1 double and 2 singles. There is a second reception room downstairs that could be used as a bedroom. However at the moment I think the kids are all too young for one of them to be on their own downstairs overnight and they wouldn't like it anyway.
Would you:

1. Me and DH have the double bedroom, make 2 of the kids share a single and then give the other single to one DC. The singles are big enough for bunk beds but would be a squeeze. In the future one of the kids can take the room downstairs.
2. Let all 3 kids have a room upstairs each and me and DH take the bedroom downstairs
3. Let the two kids who are sharing have the double room for more space, and me and DH take a single (!). It is 7ft wide by 12 foot long so can fit a double bed but you can only get in one side, and we could only fit one small wardrobe.
4. Keep looking for a "proper" 4 bed house

The issue with option 4 is that a lot of the houses in the area we are looking have at least one of the bedrooms downstairs anyway; plus a proper 4 bed is significantly more expensive and so won't make the drastic cut to the mortgage we are looking for. The house ticks every single other box for us, the bedroom issue is the only compromise. Thanks

It is 7 feet wide and 12 feet long (the two singles are both almost the exact same size) so I think if we can fit a double bed width ways then we'd have over half the length of the room still available if that makes sense. DH and I spend hardly any time in our bedroom, so I'm really not bothered about having a small room, I would just need to think carefully about storage and also get rid of a load of crap probably too!

This seems really sensible.

Any options for sleeping downstairs with all those rooms? Or is the playroom the only real option? Sounds like a house with lots of different options and maybe even something you can do in future with the savings - knocking down walls or whatever (thinking of the study AND playroom AND dining room AND lounge etc)

I think it's fine and really sensible.

I think you are being very sensible re moving. Youngest two share for now and have a playroom downstairs for the stuff. Good to have a clearout anyway, and to corral the toys into one room downstairs that you can shut the door on!

It sounds like a house that you could stay in once your kids have left home without rattling about in - saving future downsize costs too!

The problem with the newer houses is that they don't tick the other boxes (utility, space to wfh, space for dining table), or if they do they also have 4 or 5 beds which makes them quite expensive (and also no need to adapt). The old houses in the area are the ones that tend to be very bottom heavy - lots of old cottages that have had single storey extensions and also 1930s chalet type houses where downstairs is bigger than the upstairs so gives us the extra things we want without the price tag of the extra bedrooms.

The new builds tend to be townhouses which often have 4 bedrooms and often 3 bathrooms but then just a small kitchen and lounge on the ground floor which wouldn't work for us at all. And then they're more expensive than the old houses because they have more bedrooms and bathrooms.

Just checked and the single is about the size of my son's room. He has a loft-type bed and has friends for sleepovers and it's fine. Fits a single (or bunk) with a wee desk and a few toy/book shelves - it's cosy but he likes it and plays in there plenty. So I think fine for 2 kids and minimal toys.

Sounds like the plan you're gravitating towards will work and is v sensible. That 34-year mortgage sounds horrendous. Anything to get the term and cost down.

My eldest currently has a cabin bed in a small room but it's more of a square shape, around 9x9 I think. The 7 x 12 rooms do feel more like singles because they're long and thin but if I can get a bunkbed in sideways then I think it would be fine.

It's going to be a very hard sell to my middle one who would be annoyed at having to share as they all have their own rooms at the moment. The youngest will be delighted!

Given your downstairs area, it makes sense to go for the 3 bed house. I'd keep the largest room for yourselves (you need wardrobe space much more than children). The eldest can have the small single, younger two sharing the large single (really a small double, certainly enough for 2 little DC). The once older, the eldest can be given a downstairs bedroom (or have that for yourself). As they grow, that playroom will be less needed. I wonder if the dining room could do double duty as a 2nd lounge as a longer term idea. The study room is really useful too as they grow. Quiet space to study is a massive bonus in the teen years. Reducing your mortgage is a very good idea. Good luck with the sale and purchase.

We couldn’t fit it sideways but mostly due to an awkward window / radiator / closet situation. So bed against the long wall, tiny space and shelves along the other long wall

As kids spend more time in their room than adults I think I would give the younger 2 the double, 8yr old a single and parents sleeping in the single, using the downstairs bedroom as your dressing room. Then when they are all older you can fully move downstairs.

PP makes a good point. The house doesn’t sound big enough for your family as the kids get older. They aren’t going to want a single bed and no private space for of their own (that is big enough to do anything in) for long

You and DH have the double bedroom.
Two kids share a single with bunk beds.
One on their own in the other single.

Not sure of their ages as you’ve only said 2-8 but I’d put the two closest in age in together. Or the one who has the most disruptive sleep on their own.

Well in fairness, that's not really their choice is it! It's us that has to pay for the house. Plenty of teenagers cope with a single bed (or as I said, the small rooms are 7x12 so can fit a double). The downstairs room/bedroom will also take a double so in theory once they're say 10/13/16 they could all have their own rooms with double beds if they wanted (or single if they prefer more floor space). I'm only in my 30s and I even had a single bed in my University room, only 1 of the halls had doubles and they were the most expensive.
I don't think it will traumatise them. I think they will probably prefer that we have a smaller house now and we can actually save money for their futures e.g. house deposits, rather than spend it all now on a mortgage.

Option 1 sounds best while they’re little then later on, either the eldest downstairs or you and DH . It sounds like a good sized house despite the small bedroom sizes.

I think it’s a very responsible decision to reduce your mortgage by 1k and half the mortgage term. You have no wriggle room for interest rates and the current climate is not predictable. Protect yourselves and downsize while you can.

A single room is fine! I think expectations are too high on Mumsnet sometimes. Not only is having your own room essential as a teen, but now it must be a double room at that. It’s just not feasible for most families in the U.K., and it’s not representative of how most people live. I’d argue it’s far better to have parents in a stable financial position than have a double bed.

I'd agree that if there wasn't any scope for them all to have their own rooms when they're older then it might be a bit small. But I think if my DC were complaining because their bedrooms weren't huge then I'd be having a word about being grateful for what they have. Also as mentioned upthread we are hoping that the extra cash can go towards stuff that will benefit the kids and they will enjoy e.g. more trips, travel, activities etc.

I also worked out that if we overpay by £200 a month then we could in theory pay it off by the time that our eldest would be due to start University which would be a huge help (my sibling has 2DC at uni at the same time, it's costing them over £1k per month)

If you and your husband have the bigger single could all the kids share the double and then you’d have the small single for storage + occasional bed and the downstairs room can be a playroom

Girls or boys?
my eldest girl is very particular about having her own space and she isn’t much older than your eldest
my younger 2 do share a room in bunk beds but even though they are twins it’s not going to be tenable for them to share past the age of 9.
in your situation in the short to medium term the eldest in one room and 2 youngest in bunks sharing will work fine but longer term id plan that you moved your bedroom to the downstairs reception
otherwise your kids are making all of the compromises and you are seeing the benefits of it

Option 1 makes most sense. You'll need the large living space downstairs as they get older. We have 3 teens and my DDs (17&18) still share even though we have a 4 bed house. The 4th bedroom is the guest room cum office. We have two sitting rooms and I think that's far more useful with teens than individual bedrooms, they entertain their friends in the 'playroom' not their bedrooms.

This is why I was suggesting that we share the single rather than take the double, so we are making a compromise to give them more space.
(But also I do think they will benefit from it in other ways as I explained previously, we are hoping this will enable us to do stuff like visit in laws in New Zealand which we can't currently easily afford)

Honestly, having parents who are present and less stressed is worth it in my opinion. I can't imagine having that level of payment for 34 years.

We had 4 kids in a 3 bed. Granted, they were 2 large bedrooms and one reasonable single, but it was fine. Now, as adults, two live together in one house. 2 (uni ages, just), still live at home. They all hang out together - holidays, going out, activities. They didn't suffer because they had to share rooms.

I would take double for adults. With young kids they always end up in your bed at some point

Eldest in single alone
other two in single in bunks

use bedrooms mainly for sleeping and relaxing, and use downstairs second living room as playroom/ tv / games room/ desk for arts or homework extra space.

I’d in no way have an eight year old share with a two year old.

id take the second reception as our bedroom, and give them all their own room.

Depends on the children but my sensible child would have been be ok downstairs himself at 10 or alternatively he'd have been ok upstairs with the adults downstairs from about 5.
So either way you can move the oldest or yourselves downstairs in about three years.
For the next three years having the younger two sleep together upstairs and their toys downstairs works fine.
I think it's fine for two kids to share for much longer if there are only two but I think with three children it's really important that they have equivalent space each once the youngest is primary school age (so in your case, a similar sized room each).