How to be happy in a less-than house/ neighbourhood?

[BeHappyHazelCat]

Hello Mumsnet,

I’m looking for some tips, both in terms of:

1. Changing my own mindset; and
2. Improving my situation.

I think with my family in a house in a neighbourhood which is fine - just okay. I really thought I would be bringing up my children somewhere with less rubbish/ dog poo, a bigger garden (we have a patio garden), and generally just prettier and nicer.

Basically, I’m not completely happy with the house or location but we cannot afford to move for the next 10-15 years. We have done the maths and hope to move one day, but it just isn’t realistic with our current salaries/ young children.

I know I am very lucky to have a home, so please don’t just comment to tell me this! What I am looking for is ways to improve my time here. I think my own mindset needs some changing!

Do you have any tips? Any ideas welcome. I want to feel happy in my home and proud of my local area.

Thank you for any ideas.

@Greenfinch7 that looks incredible. 🙂

I'm glad you like my pots! I think the main thing I wanted to share is that my neighbourhood is really rundown, poor, lots of drug problems, lots of rubbish on the street. Plants seem to spread good will around, so they cheer up our house, but also the street surrounding us (I also pick up a lot of rubbish...)

It’s a great idea and I bet your neighbours are really pleased. The opposite of the broken window theory that if somewhere looks unloved, people will treat it badly.

I am a truly atrocious gardener so will begin with some tidying up in the front garden. Any tips on growing plants in pots which would survive my lack of skills? I do love the idea of colourful flowers in pots but have never managed to keep anything alive!

thank you again for the advice!

Come live on my shitty council estate where there’s fights in gardens, arguments on the street, cars ragging up and down at midnight, loud neighbours in the early hours - then you’ll feel miles better.

Housewise: I totally understand that when you say you can’t move for years, you mean just that, and don’t have a magic wand to change your circumstances, or a secret money tree to alter things in your favour.
I admire you for seeking good advice, which many people here have given.
I believe you will succeed and make the most of it, and easily distract yourself with your busy family life and will be happy.

In my own life, during the lower budget, less than optimum housing stage, I always reminded myself that I didn’t have to lie in the middle of the road, staring at the less than aspirational exterior of my home, and not to give the thought head space.

Our garden was on a hill which sloped not only downwards but from right to left as well, we kept it tidy but landscaping was totally economically impossible. The front garden we improved with colourful shrubs- excellent for time-poor parents of young busy children. The house we improved as we could, and several decades later on selling was light and warm and welcoming and sold within a week.
We had a happy family life in that house, before moving on to something very different.

Maybe that is the sort of thing the OP is dealing with?

I have this feeling a lot. Like house location aren’t the worst but it’s also not great. I considered moving a lot and taking on 1.5-2x the mortgage.

Just gone through a redundancy process. I wasn’t let go. It was so stressful enough. I was really glad we didn’t have the massive mortgage.

I promise you you could keep tesco begonias, french marigolds etc alive easily.

I hate our new house too, it was an utter shithole, it's a just for now house until the 4 kids bugger off, but I'm so proud of the work I've done outside that it genuinely makes me happy to see it (shame about the inside that pisses me off massively). Cannot wait to get plants in to cheer the place up.