Struggling to settle in a new house

[AuntyBetty61]

We’ve recently signed an initial 6 month lease on a period property (it’s very old so I knew it wouldn’t be perfect) which we viewed once on a lovely sunny day!

The day we signed for the keys and stepped foot through the door I got a sinking feeling, the house which looked like it just needed a good clean is in a worse state than I remember! It looks dingy, smells of damp and seems to have bugs everywhere. Half the windows have been painted closed so I can’t even open them to air it!

I’m trying to remain positive, my husband loves the place but I just get a sinking feeling of disappointment when I walk though the door. I feel like I should have aired my concerns at the time but he was so happy I got caught up in it!

I know it takes a while to unpack properly and settle down but I just can’t see me changing my mind. There’s so much we missed at the viewing I’m feeling a bit cross with myself as well! I don’t think we can afford to move when the initial 6 months is up (we then go onto a rolling monthly) so I’m just looking for a bit of a handhold and advice on how to plough though it!

How old is it? I sometimes go looking on Rightmove at really old houses and fantasise about living in one.

Has it been standing empty long?

You can open all the windows that will open and get a good draught of air blowing through. See if you can identify a specific source of the damp smell.

Are you allowed to slap a few coats of emulsion on the walls? That's quite a quick job and will freshen things up.

Or get some wallhangings to brighten things up. That would be appropriate in an old house before wallpaper came in.

When I moved into my first home I hated it. There was so much the previous people had not kept on top of, it had not been looked after and was quite frankly very dirty and shabby. I hated it for months I even started looking at other houses and everything. It really got me down and I was very upset.

But I ended up living there for 10+ years and when I moved from it 18 months ago and I cried!

I’d made it mine, I’d painted every wall and done so much to it and I was so sad to leave!

“Are you allowed to slap a few coats of emulsion on the walls? That's quite a quick job and will freshen things up.“

NO, not with a period house. Emulsion will cause damp issues.

We have a very long list of things we can’t do and must do but these don’t seem to have been followed by the previous tenants and wasn’t given to us until we got our keys and tenancy pack. I expected there to be some restrictions with a period property though and painting and wallpapering is a definite no!

I just hoping once I get back into my usual routine and unpacked it won’t feel so bad but I can’t shake the disappointment of it all. I do feel like the letting agents mislead on somethings as well. He was so enthusiastic when we viewed and I’m starting to why now!

I know friends are trying to be helpful but if one more person tells me it takes time I’ll scream! I’ve moved a handful of times and never had this feeling before.

Do some deep cleaning, then some more. Perhaps pay a cleaner too.
Open the windows you can for as long as possible each day.

Can you explain more? Is there anything you like about it?

BTW It is normal not to decorate a renal.

The house is in the perfect location for commuting, has amazing gardens and is a large size for the rental value.

I’ve deep cleaned but the place still feels grubby, now the nicer weather is here I’ll been airing it out as much as I can and hopefully that will help with the damp smell.

I do think the romance of living in a quirky period property is a lot different to actually doing it. Especially when it’s just rented so comes with restrictions, if we owned it we’d have a lot more freedom to put things right.

I suppose I’ll just have to crack on and learn from it, I’m just gutted I don’t have that excitement of being in a new house. Now I’ve decided I don’t love it, I’m finding everything wrong with it and it’s causing a few issues with my husband who loves the place!!

I remember that feeling when I walked into my first house having just got the keys from the EA. I looked around the house and burst into tears wondering what on earth I had done.😱😢
A 1930's house, it was dark, scruffy, dirty and the smell was awful but somehow I didn't see this at the viewing when it was full of furniture. That said, as a young, single FTB it was all I could afford (although "afford" is stretching a point!).
Took me and my Ddad 3-months hard work to get the essential rooms habitable, the rest I did after I had moved in.

Turned out fine in the end and ended up a nice, cosy little house.
Still couldn't wait to move though!😆

Have you £500 that you can ‘lose’?
We moved to a purchased house in Feb and made a list across the first fortnight of the annoyances.
By changing light bulbs to Daylight and not that dull warm light instantly made a difference. We also bought those huge paper lanterns at £5 from IKEA and dumped shades that sucked the light. You could maybe stash the lampshades in the loft? EBay is pretty amazing too. I bought a £30 rug thats been transformational and I’ve bought £6 house plants in Lidl for some distraction. I’m sure you can also repaint dull white skirting or wall areas if you are 100% confident they are white. I also changed the toilet seats by sourcing on eBay - £30 well spent .
It will look so much better in a month I promise

"if we owned it we’d have a lot more freedom to put things right."

Let's start here, what needs 'putting right' for you to be comfortable?

@Mum5net has sensible advise to look at the lighting and see if it appropriate, but potentially the other way round, daylight bulbs may not be right for your space, they may make it feel cold. Without seeing pictures I can't comment further.

In a period property pattern really does make a difference. I agree with @Mum5net that large patterned rugs from FB marketpalce, car boot sale etc would help, also curtains. Houseplants are always a good option for any house to feel more like a home.

Thanks everyone, some great tips and advice and I’ll definitely be changing all the lightbulbs tonight and trying that and getting some greenery in the house seems like a great idea.

I think I’m just a bit cross with myself for not looking closer, I’m usually really cautious and sensible with these things! My friend did point out at least we’re renting and have the option to move and maybe I should focus on that rather than feeling I’m stuck there!

Since partner loves the house, work together to get it cleaner & nicer smelling.

Is there one room that doesn’t feel so bad as the others? Can you turn that room into a little oasis - even if it means putting all your favourite things in just the one room. Then when you come home, you have something to keep you going for now.

Don’t be cross with yourself. You have the perfect location and decent space and a fab garden. These are huge plus points so your antenna for spotting a good house was working. If you can fathom how to get rid of the damp smell and bring some uniformity to the quirks then you are on your way.

Consider borrowing a dehumidifier. Also if the kitchen cupboards and fridge smell a bit meh go around with ramekins of baking soda and leave there for a week and a slooshy spray bottle with a zoflora mix inside.
Consider taking the curtains down if they aren’t to your taste and see what IKEA offers . Or if they have to remain, spray them with zoflora.
Another thing on a period property is the grotty paint at the windows. There is a razor blade tool for about a tenner that can remove paint that has been carelessly applied over the actual glass. That might ‘sharpen’ the place up.

Big artwork also looks grand.

If this were me (and it has been) the first thing I'd do is tell my husband how I'm feeling. He should know that the house wasn't what you were hoping for and you're having difficulties getting settled in. You should tell him you want it to work but he needs to have some sort of mental preparation for the fact that another move might be on the horizon. I love my partner dearly but he can be blissfully unaware of a problem if I don't tell him, I have to remind myself he's not psychic 😁

I viewed this house in the summer of last year, it was fully furnished and looked really cozy and inviting. When I moved in during the winter it looked dark, dingy, depressing and cold, everywhere I looked I saw a problem, something that needed changing or fixing. Not long after we found some significant issues that were going to require a lot of time and money to fix that have really put a spanner in the works. It didn't take long to get overwhelmed by the negatives and forget all the positives.

Imgoingtobefree gave great advice and it's something we did ourselves. We made one room feel more homely by improving the lighting and adding some colour and decoration so I felt more comfortable there. Sadly the entryway has a damp, musty smell so it's the first thing I'm greeted with when I come home, I've bleached the kitchen from top to bottom several times but the room still doesn't feel clean and the front room.....well I don't even go in there any more, it's too depressing. But the back room is livable and smells nice so I can survive.

Other than that you can only work on the things that are in your power to fix so maybe take note of those things and start from there. A dehumidifier to reduce dampness and mustiness can really help, insecticides aren't my favorite thing but spraying certain areas can keep the bugs at bay and have a lasting effect if the correct type is used (I've made my peace with spiders but have waged a mini war on slugs and woodlice and semi won)

I think most people can adapt eventually, old houses have their quirks, you might find they stop bothering you....and if not, it's just a rental, you can leave.

Thank you for sharing your experience @Tootsiroll it really helps to know I’m not the only one in this position.

I’ve spoken to my husband and we’ve agreed to concentrate on a couple of rooms that don’t need much spending on and then see where we are in 4 months time. If things feel better, we can spend a bit more and really go to town on the place and if not we can look for other opportunities.

I have started to remind myself that one of joys of rental is the option to move if things don’t work out!