Is the house worth the commute?

[matilda1077]

Went to view our dream home earlier this afternoon. It is everything we are looking for, plus a huge garden. It is well under our budget too. The only box it doesn’t tick, is the location. The area itself is lovely, but it’s around 35 minutes from where I am now, where my daughters school is quite literally up the road.

My DD is in year 1 and had a rough start to school and has finally settled, so I don’t want to move her and make her start all over again. I would have to commute, which would add another 35/40 mins to our journey to & from school, and involves motorway driving which is often gridlocked.

I would also have to give up WFH and work from the office full time, as I wouldn’t be able to make the timings work.

Has anybody got any advice on moving to another area and making the commute? Was it worth it?

Don't do it, its such a drag doing all that driving when you are used to being just down the road. You can change a house but not it's location.

The shine will soon go off the house when you are left with the day to day drudge of the time you have to forsake. Never would I put myself in that position with a year 1 child - you will have many years of this.

How long have you looked for a house, and do you think it will be difficult to find one like that near your current house?
Is the area it is in nice to live in apart from this commute? You say it is lovely, would you be happy there and is it like your current one or better?
Could you consider initially commuting and driving her to shool and then channgin the school, provided that the one in the new location is good/ Are nearby secondaries good too?
Finally, could your husband drive her too. so you can WFH on some days?

I would certainly consider this house if the answer to these questions, or most of them, is yes.

Absolutely not. it's not a 'dream' with that much driving, you'll barely be there in the week. also you'll be that distance from your daughter's friends so will be doing that drive at the weekend / holidays for playdates and parties, it's not just school. Kids should walk to school it's so beneficial.

I don’t think I could unsettle her with the upheaval

Won't there be the issue that some of the bullying kids might be in her class in sept?
For play dates it will be a long commute and they likely won't go to the same secondary.
I'd move schools now rather than years of driving her back and forth for years and years to come!

It seems bonkers to give up WFH also.
OR, keep looking for houses.

SIL did this exact thing, but moved into the in-laws house a 30min drive from where they'd lived. She used my in-laws as a taxi service for the kids to keep going to their old school. Friends didn't visit because a 1hr commute to drop of play dates is a bit much. In-laws confided that they hated the drive in all weathers, especially in the winter when it was dark, snowing, raining etc. After 3yrs, they moved to the local school and made friends quickly. SIL wished they'd moved the kids straight away, rather than dragging it out like they did.

It’s hard to imagine now, but very very soon your daughter will be hanging out with friends outside school. Living locally means a lot - so and so’s mum can pop round on their way somewhere, you can drop in too, etc. You will build a network of parents for play dates and socialising on weekends and after school.
You will go to the park together at the end of term, help each other out with ad hoc childcare …

you lose all of that if you’re the only one living a motorway drive away. If you want to keep her in the same school for social reasons, then moving away may undermine those social relationships anyway.

Do not underestimate the difference convenience makes

From experience always pick location

I wouldn't do it unless you're prepared to move your DD to a local school.

No. It’s in the wrong location.