We chose a builder who was still working on a house, the skip was packed with military precision to fit in as much as possible, the job site was also incredibly tidy.
We paid for everything from the builder's merchant so we owned it all, the builder rang through a list and then passed the phone to me and I paid. He invoiced for his labouring work at the end of each week mid afternoon and I would bank transfer funds into his account, he then gave me a receipt.
I paid all his subcontractors directly, window/door fitter, plasterer, electrician, kitchen fitter. This meant the only money going through the builder was his wage and he was under the VAT threshold (currently £90k) so no VAT charged to me. This made it cheaper and he earned a very good wage from it.
The unknown is the foundations of the extension. I had a full pinterest board of the kitchen extension and then shopped around for the cheapest place to buy this. We were not swayed by high end products, some cheaper items are just as good quality without the branding or marketing.
I agree that if you can do things yourself, definitely do it. We ripped out our old kitchen but left the sink unit in and the builder kept that unit in the middle of the room until it needed to move. It meant they could make cups of tea
plus they put a temporary drain in to the outside. Genius.
We also put a vertical steel in the wall so we didn't have to retain a pillar to rest the horizontal steel on.
We had a 1 week break between the room being plastered and before the kitchen fitter, that meant we could paint the empty room rather than trying to paint around kitchen cupboards.
I agree about discussing everything together before it happens as sometimes you need to make a decision immediately by yourself. Decide what your non-negotiables are now, we compromised on the dishwasher but not the hob.
My build was on time and on budget. My builder had 20 years experience and it showed, even down to the number of bricks ordered (10 left over) roof tiles, 2 left over. He was also pristine, took a lot of pride in his work and we had a tidy job site,