Downsizing from town to rural

[User415373]

I have thought about this so much that I can't separate my thoughts from logic and reason. I would appreciate any thoughts or experience.
We are trying to decide whether to move from our current home to one we have been offered off the market. Some info on our current house:

• We are a family of 4 living in a 4 bed Victorian semi. I use the 4th bedroom as an office.

-kitchen diner, utility, separate living room, cellar which is a guest room/gym/playroom. None of our rooms are massive but we have plenty of space.

• small front garden and a paved back garden.
• on a 30mph busy road.
• In a small market town. Can walk to school, shop, pub etc. But there's nothing in town like a cinema, swimming pool or anything. It's already quite rural but we are from the area and love it.

We have been offered first refusal of a cottage 5 miles away 'in the sticks'.

• In a very small hamlet where my husband grew up.
• 3 double bedrooms, a kitchen, large utility/boot room and living room.

- large garden which backs on a field owned by parents in law who live the other side of the hill. We could walk across the field to their house. I like the idea of being near them in the future when they might need more support from us

• would ideally need extending for more living space (pre planning for this is promising, would be a 2 storey with an office added upstairs). The budget would be very tight but my husband works in the trade and we have fully renovated 2 houses ourselves before so we're not clueless on what this would entail.
• has a massive outbuilding with potential for an office
• can't walk to anything other than my in-laws house
• amazing views, quiet road, in an area where you can't build new houses
• despite being a very small spread out hamlet, there is a good sense of community and we already know all the neighbours

We both grew up in the sticks, needing to drive everywhere etc so it's not a new experience for us but obviously we're now the parents. Like I said, in the town we currently live there's not a huge amount anyway so we do end up driving to sports clubs, cinema, pool, friends houses etc anyway in bigger towns or the small city half an hour away. There would be no school change and about half the children in the class are driven in from surrounding villages and farms.

We see my parents in law a lot and they look after our children regularly. Aside from the big garden, it would be like also having free access to land for whatever we please. We could never afford this otherwise.

I don't know if we'd be crazy to do this while our kids are young. But this opportunity will probably never come up again.
The sellers are asking for a very fair price. They want to sell it privately to a family and for it not to end up on air BnB (touristy area). They're happy to wait for us to sell etc.

What would you do? What else am forgetting to consider?

How old are your children?

Do you like the house? Do you enjoy the prettiness? Do you like your parents in law and would you enjoyed spending more time with them? Are you comfortable that when they do get old and frail you will almost certainly be their day to day support?

If so I would do it. You sound well equipped - renovation knowledge etc. It sounds like a nice house and the disruption to your lives would be manageable. And nice for children to have grandparents walking distance away - they could even take themselves to visit.

No brainier this one. Do it. Too many advantages not too. Yes a bit more driving kids around but other than that a wonderful opportunity

I live in the sticks and it can be quite isolating for teenagers as there is nothing to do or you have to be a constant taxi driver as there is hardly any public transport. If I had the choice I would prefer to live somewhere were my kids could walk to meet friends or if I fancied a take away, it wasn't a minimum of 22 mile round trip etc.

Kids are currently 4 and 3. Husband works in the town we are currently in, this is where the school is so he would be doing drop off and pick up though it would mean them being in wraparound more. I WFH full time though my hours are flexible as well.
The town is a 10 minute drive.
Yes we'd be happy to be nearer the in-laws. They are wonderful people. Their home is still very much the family hub, we gather often for meals and parties with family and friends. They have a wonderful home and garden and the door is always open for us and anyone else!
Totally take the point on teenagers wanting to walk to meet friends. Again I can't really compare as I also lived in the sticks as a teen and would either walk miles or the parents would take turns to give us a lift until we were able to drive. I don't even know what the teens do in town, like I said there is nothing here for them anyway apart from the local park so perhaps they just go to eachother's houses.

If kids are 4 and 3 then yes

teens struggle in rural areas but young kids and grandparents very close is good

And yes we like the house. It's a traditional cottage but with a new kitchen and bathroom and has been well cared for and looked after by the current owners. I am concerned about the size though and always saw us moving to a bigger house rather than a smaller one (maybe not in terms of square footage but in terms of useable space. For example our cellar is great but we seldom use it. However I'd love a bigger living room and would give up the cellar space to have one!)
But I grew up in tiny houses so maybe that's why I'm always chasing something bigger!

Do it! If you grew up in the sticks thia sounds amazing. And ignore “teenagers don’t fare well in the country” …as you and thousands others have experienced… as long as parents are happy to do lifts the advantages are amazing. And they all pass their tests on the dot of 17! (Having driven off road since age of 10 😂)

Do it, because it is a unique opportunity (and sounds amazing).
Houses in town will always be available should you change your mind. But you will never get this chance again.

We moved from town to rural when I was 10 and I loved it. I preferred having a smaller group of friends. I got to have a dog and spend time with horses and spent a lot of time outdoors compared. So long as there are a few families with similar age kids I say go for it! I got my cbt and a 50cc motorbike at 16 and loved the independence.

Houses like this only come up once in a blue moon, you can always find another town place if you change your mind.

We've lived all around the country over the last 40 years and the only time we got burgled (twice!!!) was when we lived in the country. I absolutely loved it - apart from that. We were never again at ease.

This is a no-brainer, go for it, you won't regret it.
My DC had a rural childhood, and have lots of lovely memories to look back on.
In their teens, they were able to get the train to the nearest city for nights out, gigs and so on.

I've lived in cities, in the country a 14 mile round trip to the nearest shop and in market towns.

The only one I would never return to is rural. The not being able to walk out to anything got old. The round trip was a bore. You are kind of forced together with a group of people whose company you might not normally choose and there's no anonymity whatsoever. You really feel the length of winter living somewhere like that.

My favourite is a market town. You can pop out for a pint of beer or milk, it's small enough to be supportive and friendly, big enough to lose yourself a bit.

I would move. It sounds great.

Live in a small hamlet - be prepared to drive your kids everywhere once they are teens. No Saturday night wine for mum and dad granted I had 4 kids but some nights we were both going out to pick up teens at different places. Hopefully you enjoy driving in bad weather ice etc as roads never gritted in winter. Can easily get snowed in or flooded road ( run off from fields ) cuts you off .
Don’t mind reversing when you meet the tractors and trailers and your car has good ground clearance ( my Mini Cooper had to go !)
Life just gets a bit more complicated - yes there were school buses but they dropped off at the road end so eventually when the older ones had left home I had a 12 year old walking a mile along an unlit road ( so had to change my working hours to leave early to collect her ) . Which brings me to no street lights - I love the dark dark but it spooks my mother in law out no end when she comes to stay .
Good store cupboards and freezers essential - no quick nipping out for something .
Take aways are a fail .
Farm animals stink encourage flies and really noisy
Doesn’t bother me but it’s surprising the number of folks who think they are cute pets !
Weather is more extreme
There is nothing to stop the wind except our house when it comes over the hill
Which brings me to bigger heating bills as usually solid fuel or oil heating .
Septic tanks need emptying
Broadband can be less efficient.
Post & deliveries take longer .
Kids might be lonely as I said I had 4 so at least they had company but again play dates take a bit more organisation
Two cars probably needed too.
That looks like a very negative list .
We moved from London 30 years ago husband was country boy originally but I was such a city girl.
Absolutely love it .
Peace and quiet after a full on day at work
Great walks
Simpler pleasures
Much bigger house than had in city .
Better schools
Less crime
Cheaper hairdressers
Great tradesmen
Able to have pets
Land - vegetables and flowers
Log burner
And almost everything can be delivered in this day & age
During our time here seen so many people move and it’s not been what they expected .
So think it’s best to be honest.
I would not go back to city life .
Your proposed house sounds fine it’s the lifestyle changes you need to consider …. Oh and invest in a really good rain jacket !

Lots to think about from everyone, thanks for all your thoughts and experiences. I feel like this isn't a true town Vs city situation as the town we're in now only has 2 takeaways, a co-op, school, drs surgery. Nothing 'to-do' as such, no sports clubs for teens, bowling alley, cinema etc. Not much public transport. I'm guessing I'd be driving the teens everywhere anyway at that age as there's just not much in this town? This is just what we and everyone here is used to.
And we're not strangers to country living. Both sets of parents still live in the sticks, we drive out to them at least 4 times are week and very familiar with lanes , darkness, farming, tractors etc etc. we have a 4x4 with winter tyres and are used to no grit, snow etc as it's very normal around here and we often make deliveries to parents when it's snowed. This particular house is 200m from the house my DH grew up in and about 500m from where his parents currently live so it's definitely our neck of the woods, we know everyone and the local area extremely well. It's only 5 miles from here.
Everyone around there leaves their doors unlocked, in the 30 years my in-laws have been there they haven't even had a front door key! People can't even find the hamlet when they're looking for it. Not sure I'd take it that far. My husband sometimes works away and I think I would feel a little vulnerable. Having said that we were burgled here 5 years ago so you can't always predict where crime will happen.
But I do love walking to school, not having to rely on a car for the basics, meeting a friend for a drink on an occasional Friday etc (but most of them actually live in surrounding villages and have to organise lifts etc anyway). I have some hobbies which are currently a 5 minute drive which would be 10 minutes from there.
The house has a large outbuilding where the current owners keep 2 chest freezers so we have space for that.
We all love the outdoors and being able to have it on the doorstep is tempting.
We've had 3 agents look at our house and all valuations are as expected. Tomorrow we are going to see the other house again to decide!