Is Solihull far away enough from Birmingham?

[Hatebirmingham]

I live in Edgbaston and HATE Birmingham. I’ve been here for 6 years and I think it’s bloody awful. It’s run down, unsafe to the point where I could list multiple areas where I barely feel safe driving through, never mind getting out of the car and there are so many areas that don’t even feel like you’re in the UK. I see teens around and would be throughly depressed for these to be the children that my own would attend school with - lots seem to be wannabe ‘gangsters’, rude, intimidating etc. I find the vast majority of Birmingham incredibly depressing.

We can’t leave the West Midlands unfortunately.

I was wondering if Solihull may be a better fit for us. My oldest DC is starting school next year so we still have time to move without interrupting education. My question is - is Solihull (particularly Dorridge/Knowle) far enough away from Birmingham to not be affected by Birmingham’s ‘issues’?

IABU: Solihull is still too close to Birmingham
IANBU: Solihull is much better than Birmingham

Ha, yes, same with Windsor. Same telephone code as Slough. When someone gave you their number, they had to get in that they were Windsor, not Slough, darling 🤣

this is going back some years when I lived there, but people in Windsor were lobbying to get a WM postcode (Windsor and Maidenhead) rather than the SL one.

@missbish just because you think someone has looked at you funny doesn't mean it happened at all, I can't imagine having an ego so big that I think strangers give a flying fuck about my existence, never mind staring at me.

You’re literally batshit lol
You know nobodies real life experience here, apart from what we have chosen to share. I’m not sure why you’re so fiercely defensive of Birmingham, to the point of victim blaming people who have experienced harassment/trauma, maybe you should become an mp?

Bits of OP's responses make little sense and can't help feel this is a fake thread to stir up some angry responses. OP talks of visiting GP's (plural) - why? Surely you have one GP near where you live. Also driving to Nechells and stopping to get cash out- again, why. Nechells is the other side of the city to Edgbaston, its not exactly brimming with services and amenities. OP says she has children and takes them out to various places but seems to like going all over an enormous city; it can take a long time to drive to different parts, yet lives in leafy Edgbaston where there is lots of lovely things to do. She also finds the time to park up and spend time watching youths on buses. Very fishy.

Sutton isn’t very nice either unfortunately, the town is just full of kids and run down (like a lot of towns granted)
Op have you considered Lichfield/Tamworth?

So OP should just stay in her Edgbaston enclave then? How's that living? Being confined to one suburb because it's too dangerous to go anywhere else, is awful.

I can’t believe people are actually questioning why op would be in another part of town 😆 these people are so desperate to say “gotcha you RACIST”

Perhaps there is an Edgbaston in Birmingham Alabama ?

https://www.bhamwiki.com/w/List_of_notable_examples_of_confusing_Birmingham_with_Birmingham,_England

Earlier in the week someone posted about being on a train and she looked at a child who was doing something unpleasant for slightly longer than a glance and his dad was then purposely intimidating to her. People were saying the dad must have noticed her judging the child by looking at him and was pissed off (so her fault really).

Now people here are saying that you're being paranoid if you think you've ever noticed anyone staring at you and everyone walks around in a bubble not noticing anyone around them (so your fault if you feel intimidated).

It's almost like women can't win, best not go out in case you look at someone for too long (cos that's rude) or think anyone is looking at you (cos that would make you paranoid).

@missbish I'm not defending Birmingham - I have literally said there are huge areas of deprivation.

I am defending nothing except hateful accusations towards groups of people who have literally done nothing to you other than supposedly "looked at you funny"

Wah wahh that person looked at me!! - last time I checked looking at people (if it even happened) is not a crime.

If you are traumatised by someone looking at you I would suggest going to visit you GP for some mental health support.

Again I will say you don’t know anyone’s personal lived experiences other than what they have chosen to share. You sound like a very narrow minded person if you can’t think of bad things that happen to women, it’s nothing to do with being looked at funny.

And whilst spending so much time driving round to obscure parts of the City, which happen to terrify the life out of her, she doesn’t have the capacity to swing round to Solihull and see whether she actually likes it.

@missbish I also never said that horrible things don't happen to women, they do all the time.

However I am painfully aware that the horrible things are so much more likely (over 80% more likely) to be perpetrated by their own partner not some random man on the street that has "looked at her funny" in fact the data shows that only 0.7% of reported attacks on women are from strangers.

Do my 60+ years of experience of living and working here, and raising my family here qualify for knowing the City for you ?

I think it is a great City. So many positives.

As in any large City, there are also some areas less nice than others, but nowhere I wouldn't comfortably walk down the high street or sit on the bus to travel through.

While statistics may be correct, to mock somebody on this thread who’s past experiences you know sod all about and to tell them to visit their gp for their trauma is disgraceful, all to prove a point ?

Of course that qualifies lol my point is though as I’ve said to another poster is just because you have not had any negative experiences doesn’t mean somebody else hasn’t.

@missbish Who is mocking anyone - it was genuine advice, if people looking at you makes you anxious you should seek help.

Maybe use your brain to consider why that might make a woman feel uncomfortable. I won’t engage with you any further as I’ll end up getting banned trying to reason with someone like you.

I doubt the people (almost certainly men) were just looking at OP. If you have never had men staring, leering etc at you then you are lucky.

Unfortunately a lot of men have little respect for women. The fact that a great number of those men are not white does not make me or OP racist.

People spend an awful lot of time defending these men and calling people who discuss their behaviour racist.

Look at how the grooming gangs were covered up.

Of course the student experience in a city is different, but as the previous poster said, these students do go into the city centre, without feeling terrified. Obviously they mainly frequent Edgbaston/Selly Oak /Harborne, as they generally have no need to go to the other parts of Birmingham.
I am just surprised that somebody living in one of the nicer parts of a city regularly has need to visit parts they'd rather not, in order to find beauty salons, restaurants etc. I'm sure you wouldn't want to attend mother and baby groups in those areas.

That's true of Sutton Coldfield, yes. The part of Rednal we lived in was well inside the Birmingham boundary. We also went to church in the Bearwood/Smethwick area, so spent quite a lot of time there.

My general point was that Birmingham is like any other big city, with deprived inner city areas and mixed suburbs. Doubtless there are people here who've had bad experiences, as it's a city with high levels of deprivation in parts, but it's no worse than any other big city and it's still a great place for teens to grow up - if their parents can overcome their anxiety. If not, maybe they're best off moving somewhere 'safer'.

Yes very fishy😂. I’ve definitely never had to collect things from Facebook Marketplace or visit stores that aren’t super local to me. Nor have I had to visit any medical facility that isn’t within walking distance of my house 🥴.

I’m sure your response would be very different if it were a POC complaining of a group of white men making them feel uncomfortable or staring at them when it’s inappropriate to do so.

Thank you. I’m sure the poster is being deliberately obtuse. We all know what I’m describing isn’t simply just innocent staring. It’s staring accompanied by grinning, leering, smirking, whispering between the group, calling out words that you can’t quite hear. It’s maintaining the staring despite me making eye contact multiple times and clearly giving off the signals that I’m uncomfortable. All of this whilst also being with children or whilst wearing a (completely unrevealing, loose!) summer dress and wishing you had a huge hoodie on. Or wishing you had someone with you as you’re worried to walk back to the car incase any of them decide to approach you. Being worried to tell the receptionist your postcode or phone number too loudly else the men who’ve been making you feel uncomfortable might hear etc.

I really shouldn’t have to point this out. The majority of women understand 100% without me having to explain all of this.