How do you know it’s the right house?

[VillaOfReducedCircumstances]

I’ve seen 3 houses so far, and I’m booked in to see one more.

I really like the 1st house I saw though. I keep looking at the photos, and walking past it. There are some issues I need to look into a bit, and it’s not perfect. But I can imagine living there with DS and being happy.

So, how do I get to the end and just choose 😄?

We had a list (ok, technically a multi tab spreadsheet) of must have, nice to have and ideal features.
Some questions I found handy to ask myself were; Why wouldn't I buy this house?
What I am looking for that this house doesn't have?
Does it have all the must have a?

If you keep looking at the pics and imagine being happy there then I think you've probably found the one and it's time to bite the bullet! Good luck OP 🤞🏻

Thanks @SausageRoll2020- it actually has all of the needs and nice to haves that I wrote down at the beginning of this process.

I’m getting divorced, and it’s at the top end of my budget, so I suppose I’m just worrying about it all really.

Really scary process but if it ticks your boxes and you can afford monthly payments then go for it!!

I always go with “the feeling”

Have a list of practical things that you research, consider if what it doesn’t have are dealbreakers.

After that it’s gut feeling.

The list is about not getting swept away on hit and missing a big issue.

I find the more you view in person the more that defines what’s important to you at this time. There will always be some compromises. I have a list of must haves and nice to haves. These change the more I view but it does help.

Every house we have bought has had a good gut feeling. If you find yourself trying to talk yourself into something it’s not the one.

The houses we've bought (nine) have usually had 'the feeling', although the nineth/most recent one didn't.

We had all the usual lists of must haves, nice to haves, definite no nos etc, but moving from a cheaper area back 'home' to a more expensive one - even accepting we were downsizing - it proved incredibly difficult to find 'the one'!

Trouble was DH (obviously more realistic/easier to please) thought it was great, whereas I couldn't summon up any love for it, whatsoever! We pulled out of the purchase once, then changed our minds and re-offered as our buyers were becoming impatient and I feared a winter living in a caravan with all our stuff in storage.

Sixteen months on and the major (DIY) project is slowly coming together, the bland featureless Georgian cottage is feeling more like our home - but do I love it yet? No. Will I ever? Don't think so. We'll probably sell in a year or so when the work is completed. Imo we should have taken the winter in the caravan option!

So my advice is, if you're not getting the feeling, don't buy it - but as you seem to be imagining yourself living there @VillaOfReducedCircumstances it sounds like you might have found it!

I was dead excited about the first house we offered on, dreamed about it, planned it as our house, imagined living there, in my head it WAS our home... and then we didn't get it because the seller dragged us along and changed their mind about selling.

Second house, wasn't dream house but same location and had a lot of 'extra' ticks in boxes. Got dragged along for well over a year due to legal issues with the estate before it was repossessed and they cancelled the sale (and all the money spent on surveys and fees we lost, I'm still a bit bitter).

Third house was much shorter, we really liked it, had loads of character so we offered full price the day it hit the market within hours, we where the only viewers when we offered and they wanted to 'think about it' and see if anyone else would view so dragged us along for a few weeks (we planned all the works in that time) then they accepted, the unaccepted and gazumped us instantly.

Fourth house technically was never ours I suppose, very similar to the third. We offered instantly but 10% under asking as it was just above what we could afford. We loved it though, could see ourselves living there but they wanted to 'wait' to see if they got more interest and weeks later did. They accepted a higher offer but 5 months later it fell through and they came back to us but it was too late.

Fifth house (the one we are living in now) ticked the need boxes but otherwise I had no real feelings about it. We moved quick because we had wasted over 2 years on this journey and the need to move was getting desperate. Everything went shockingly smoothly compared to the previous 4 and we had the keys a few months later. I realized when picking up the keys I had never even thought about us actually LIVING in this house. We did a reno so spent every day for the next few months there for at least a few hours a day so maybe thats why but when we did move in it felt like no real change at all. Feels like we have just always lived here and I don't think of the old house at all.

I think you just know
You get a feeling of being at home and imagine yourself using the rooms

If you can’t put one out of your head that’s the one

We bought somewhere and on completion we had to stay in a hotel overnight, due to distance. Were in the bar talking and decided that the best thing would be if it burnt down overnight! It didn't, it was ok for quite a number of years. It was very different place when we sold up and moved.

Does it spark joy and excitement?
Does it tick all your essential boxes and at least some of your desirable boxes?
Can you picture yourself living there?
Do you enjoy mentally furnishing it and/or redecorating it?
Would you feel gutted if you went on RightMove and found it sold STC?
If it isn't your dream house and you committed to buy, how easy would it be to console yourself if your dream house then came affordably to market?

it sounds so cringe but it really is a feeling, we just knew ! The house we’ve just moved into we just knew was the one, everything from the vendors to the location. The house had a good feeling, and other people visiting have said the same thing.

The smell test.

If it’s good enough and you like it a lot that’s fine

If it feels right but is missing the necessary room then walk away

With your heart. The only house I bought with my head, I never made much money on although the late80s/early90s crash didn't help.

Thanks everyone - I’ve made a mug of coffee, and I’m going to read through all of the thread now 🙂.

A blend. I knew when I saw our current house from the road before we knew it was on the market. And I've loved it every day since. It ticked nearly all of our boxes, and then in time we were able to tick the last couple. But obviously there are some boxes that are absolute non negotiables, no matter how much you might love it.

You need to view several houses to get a feel for what you can get for your money, and the things you like and don’t like.

Then one day you’ll walk into a house and just get the feeling it’s the right one,
and know that it’s the best compromise you’ll find of what you want versus what you can afford.

Perfectly stated @Doris86 ..

It is much harder to size down however. We still love our home, but realistically, it is bigger than we need. I don't want a smaller kitchen or living room, but I also don't need three spare bedrooms/ One, plus a bathroom would do. But I do want to keep my large social spaces.

We looked at a few when we bought this place. A few felt “right” and ticked boxes. Some were just awful, needing work but even then I couldn’t imagine living there even with the works done.

We offered on a couple before finding this one, but the sellers played silly beggars. When we found this one, it had some compromises- slightly smaller than the others but detached, and at first I was a bit unsure about the location but I love it now, it’s so convenient! I just loved the “feel” of this house, it felt right and we’ve now lived here for over 13 years. We need more space but I’m reluctant to leave this house and area.

The sellers of this house were more grounded and reasonable- we offered under asking and they initially rejected it as it was new to
market but then came back the following week to ask if the offer was still on the table.

Every house has some compromise and there’s always a little niggle even with the best houses, but being able to imagine yourself living there is a really strong tick!

My house I bought I just had the feeling. Plus it was affordable and didn’t need much doing to it.

SIL and DB bought their first house about 8 months ago after 18 months searching and I think they were so jaded by the whole experience that when they found a house they could actually afford (and it had some period features and a nice garden and near nursery and schools) that they just offered and were thrilled when it was accepted.

I think when you know you know, you’ve only seen 3 houses so far, that is nothing.

Exactly @Papyrophile!

We've been extremely spoilt with large rooms - including bathrooms - in our previous houses and were reluctant to give these up when downsizing. Ditto lovely characterful features.

We are experienced (DIY) renovators, so much so that DH - who previously had a primarily desk-based job in design - now has his own business restoring period properties sympathetically, using traditional methods. Nonetheless we didn't really want another huge project, but that was the only way we could get those spacious rooms - ie, by reconfiguring. Unfortunately original features were harder to find in our location/budget 🙄

People may scoff at the feeling but mine has never been wrong, I have bought some houses knowing that I wouldn't be staying too long but they ticked enough boxes at the time. But my favourite houses have felt like home when I walked in, I recall one that we lost out to and when it went back up for sale I went to view it and it still felt like it should have been mine 😁.

The house I am currently in the process of buying ticks all the main boxes and felt like home, in fact on the second viewing I was sitting in the living room forgetting that I didn't actually live there yet and had to leave. So much so that we made a good offer on it because I really don't want to lose it.

On hindsight there are times when I wish had stretched myself more and not compromised.