Henley vs Hampstead

[Mommachbs]

Hello all,
Wondering if anyone has any thoughts on a dilemma I’m having - am a single mum about to become an empty nester in Sept - last child heading off to uni and I’m deciding where to move to.
i have been single a LONG time and have been head down raising children and working my behind off.
Ok all 3 of my amazing kids will be London based - we all get on very well and they would like us all to live together in London - it would be fun and it would help them a lot to get on their feet.
i’ve always lived in the country and love being close to nature but its a different life living alone in a rural area and trying to date and make friends.
I would love to hear thoughts from people who live in either place - how easy is it to make friends, especially as an ( attractive) single mum ( had a tough time with married friends wanting to keep me at a distance - nothing to do with me its just tricky and I get it) and to date? ( dreading it dont mind telling you) I love the arts and love books/ writing etc. And I know Hampstead is very book nerd friendly :) - would also LOVE a good church community to join.
What do you think? Any input gratefully received x

Hampstead no question. Its up the hill from central London so feels much less urban than it’s still very central location. Hampstead heath on the doorstep, great community, culture, fun, excellent transport etc. although I would go a bit down the hill to Belsize Park, Dartmouth Park, Primrose Hill etc

Take a look at West Hampstead- better transport connections than Hampstead and a fair bit cheaper

King’s Cross and coal drops yard could also be an option if you want to be properly urban.

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply - that's great to hear your endorsement I wonder why you say go down the hill? I am thinking that being close to the heath is a good compromise if being close to nature is ideal but am wondering if I'm missing something?

Down the hill is a bit cheaper, a bit more central and parts are still very near the Heath. Also nearer to Primrose Hill and Regent’s Park. I think West Hampstead is too urban but perfectly fine to live in.

Don’t know Henley that well but have visited lots for day trips. I would say it doesn’t have the vibe you want as a single person. Hampstead seems a much better bet for you and expecislly fir your kids

Hampstead
Read - Went to London, Took the Dog: The Diary of a 60-Year-Old Runaway
Book by Nina Stibbe
She was based near Hampstead

Lots of nature on the heath.

Hampstead. I have lived near both and would say this without a doubt

Thanks all - looks like Hampstead hands down.

What’s your budget? A house large enough for four adults in Hampstead is going to be eye wateringly expensive.

Hampstead, as near to the Heath as possible, if you can afford it!

Why Henley? It’s lovely but it seems an unusual but also very specific alternative to Hampstead. It’s really quite rural so you would always be driving unless you were out in the centre of Henley and even then, unless you lived centrally, you might not want to be walking home but there’s no option of getting the bus a couple of stops or jumping in a taxi. Not only would it be further for your DC to travel to visit you (and vice versa) but there’s the hassle of having to change trains which, psychologically, makes it seem more effort than it is. I think you could live more rurally but consider somewhere other than Henley. On the other hand, I’ve never met anyone in Henley who isn’t really nice and friendly.

Hampstead by a mile but it is very expensive.

I know both. For me, being closer to the children would swing it and (if you can afford it) Hampstead is lovely- my favourite part of London. You will get very slightly more for your money in Belsize Park which is also very nice.

West Hampstead is completely different and not comparable (although nothing wrong with living there either).

Hampstead church is lovely- very popular and welcoming and a stunning building with Constable in the graveyard They also have a lot of musical events there.

Henley- very pretty, slightly blighted by rowing, tourists and traffic in summer. Actually traffic all year but then so is Hampstead- 21st century cars don’t really work in 18th century streets.

IME people in both areas are exceptionally well groomed and have that shiny rich look, if that’s relevant to your concerns about being attractive.

Have you looked at the price of houses in Hampstead?

”(attractive) single mum ( had a tough time with married friends wanting to keep me at a distance - nothing to do with me its just tricky and I get it)“

Haha

Yes it is you are absolutely right - Henley because we spent a lot of time there ( son rows) - it's pretty and seems to have lots of social events - festivals, fairs, regatta etc. beautiful countryside and we have friends locally. Your points about accessibility are one of the reasons I am so hesitant, children would be living separately if I plumped for Henley for precisely the reasons you give - it wouldn't be workable to commute so it would be just me - and I wouldn't live in the centre - definitely on the outskirts probably between Henley and Marlow.

Thank you so much for replying and sharing your perspective, it's good to hear it - I agree.
I agree that West Hampstead seems different too, and proximity to the children - especially if they start wanting to have children is a major factor.
So helpful to hear that the church is a good one - I did visit last time I was there and found it to be beautiful but that it is welcoming and popular is especially good to hear.
Many thanks again. 😊

I drive that road a few times a week and am currently hating it. There are lots of roads like that in the area and obviously it’s dark and wet in the evening but that road seems to have more than its fair share of people going at 60 regardless of conditions and right up your rear with few overtaking opportunities or people dawdling along and then you can’t overtake them.
What age are you? Are you working? I really think you need to consider how you’ll spend your time. In Hampstead, if you’re feeling a bit lonely you can step outside and life will be going on around you, there will be a choice of coffee shops & restaurants and, when you get bored of those, dozens of others are easily accessible, as are all of the cultural offerings. If you live between Henley & Marlow, you will have your existing friends but how often will you actually see them? How much space do they have in their life on a regular basis rather than when you are making the time as you do for a visiting friend. It could be that you are really close and will see ez h other a few times a week but I think you need to be confident of that to count on it. And are they the sort of people who will open up their social life to you on a regular basis or will they continue to socialise as they do and see you separately? For everything else, you will always be getting in the car to do any of that. And you won’t want to do that between about 10am & 3pm on a Friday, Sat or Sun unless you’re happy driving around car parks in circles!

Where do you currently live? Have you not built up a network of friends there?

I think Henley/Marlow are either good for younger families. So you can meet other parents via groups and schools. Or older people.

In your situation I’d choose London. And I live near Marlow. I’m staying when my kids move as I have a good group of friends. If I didn’t I’d move back to London.

Though you’ll need a fortune for a 4 bed in Hampstead…

Your observations are so true and thats exactly how I was thinking - its one thing to have friends you see for dinner every now and then but another to live alongside people.
I agree that Hampstead seems to be much more amenable to building that kind of network and yes much more walkable.
i work from home and will be relatively free time-wise to please myself which is why I’ll have more time on my hands ( imagine actually having time?!) and will be engaging in far more of my own pursuits. You’ve hit the nail on the head that my community will be far more of my everyday than it has been to date - everything has revolved around the children and work up to now and being realistic about that potential vacuum is key as you point out.
Thanks for your helpful response - and sorry that drive is a nightmare ☹️

Thanks for your response - I am currently just outside Sonning but we only moved back to the UK for VI Form and I’ve been nose to the grindstone so making a new set of friends has had to take a back seat - often the way with single oarents. Helpful that you share that you’d move back if not for your friends - my thinking too. You are all so kind - its been quite powerful for me to hear everyone agreeing.
Kindness of strangers 💛

Ah yes if you’ve only just recently moved back and no time to put down any roots then definitely London.

Good luck!