When do I say something?

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For various reasons related to my disability and DH’s commute, we need to move house. We’ve been casually looking for about a year now, and about 6 weeks ago found our perfect house.

We offered and had the offer accepted. The vendors had found a property and the vendors of that property had also found somewhere. The next day the estate agent called me to say the house our vendors were buying had been taken off the market so they needed to start looking again.

I said that was fine as I’m not in a huge rush, and I figured nothing much was going to happen before Christmas anyway. The estate agent then asked me not to instruct a solicitor yet, to give them time to find another property.

I’ve spoken to the agent twice since then and he just says “oh yes I’m showing them properties, I’ll update you”, then he doesn’t. I know we could just walk away, but for many reasons this house works so well for us and I’d be really reluctant to lose out on it.

It’s very reasonably priced and it had only been on the market a week when we first viewed it, so I’m sure they’d have no problem finding another buyer if I annoy them 😂 so I’m treading carefully, but what should I say and when should I say it?

There's no point. Just keep looking and if you find somewhere else suitable pull out and go for the other one. If you don't find anything your offer is still on the table for this one. You'll hear when they find a house, but I wouldn't pause your search as it might take them ages.

Yes I’ve carried on looking and left all my rightmove alerts on. There’s just nothing I like as much. Which I understand makes me sound like a petulant child 😂.

If you aren't in a rush then I'd just sit and wait although there is no harm carrying on looking if you want to. It took you 6 weeks to find a house you liked so it isn't unreasonable for any other buyers above you in the chain to take a similar amount of time. It is unlikely that the estate agent will let you know every time they view a property but they will let you know when they have had an offer accepted.

If you are in England then it will take at least 12 weeks for all the conveyancing to be done from when the chain is complete, ie when the buyers at the top have had an offer accepted, so you could be waiting a while. You or anyone else can pull out any time you want up to the contracts being exchanged, but it will set the whole process back to the beginning of the 12 weeks and piss off everyone else in the chain.🙄

ETA: It took me 8 months from having my offer accepted to moving because people above me changed their minds about a property.

What do you want to say, though? The EA won't update you until/unless the other people have had an offer accepted, presumably, and I think it's deeply unrealistic to think otherwise -- s/he's not ignoring you, there's just nothing to tell you yet.

If you're not in a rush and have seen nothing else you like as much, all you can do it sit tight for now, and keep looking rather than put all your eggs in one basket.

Thanks. It’s 15 years since we bought this house and it went pretty quickly because it was empty. I’m just getting a bit twitchy but I will sit tight.

It might motivate your sellers if you start booking viewings with the same EA.

I would only do this when it is sincere, but it is possible they are taking you for granted even if this is unintentional, and as a consequence they may be holding out for a unicorn property. In this market the sellers should be grateful to have a buyer, assuming they are serious about moving, and be working with you on a mutually convenient timetable

It’s been 6 weeks (plus a year) since the OP found this house and had their offer accepted on and their vendors won’t have started looking seriously until they had a firm offer. Why should they be expected to find their next house straight away?

When I was selling, one of my potential buyers had offers in on multiple houses and my EA advised that it showed they weren’t really serious about the offer on mine.

It is a balance of being keen, but not being a demanding PITA as you may find your offer rejected in favour of someone who is a bit more laid back, particularly if it a house that is popular.

None of us knows OP’s sellers.

What I did not mention is that we were in a similar position to OP. When we finally decided to walk and, coincidentally, one of the properties we viewed was with the same EA, the EA informed the sellers. They were actually indignant, but it lit a fire in them.

If you want to sell badly enough you can move into temporary accommodation. We have done this