Bought a house

[SilverDoublet]

We've just bought a house and I'm now freaking out that it's too big. I know it's a total first world problem but I feel like we're lost in it compared to our old place. I know we're probably going to grow into it, that was the plan as our 4 kids aren't teenagers yet and each will have their own room. But I just feel so sad and like we've done the wrong thing. We've pushed ourselves financially to get here, whereas in our old house we lived way below our means so was able to save but it was starting to feel a bit squashed upstairs. I'm freaking out a bit about bills, and cost of maintenance and it also needs a new kitchen, furniture, (and windows and boiler, down the line) etc to make it as comfortable as our old house. Also we won't be having any more children so it's just going to be big and empty. So I don't know, I feel so depressed about it all, when I thought I'd be really happy. Please help, I feel like selling it already.

How big is it? I bet once they’re teenagers it won’t feel too big! You’ll settle in and they will love having their own rooms. It really will make life easier for them as they grow older. It’s normal, I think, to question such big decisions /financial outlays. Once they’ve left home, you can always downsize again!

OP, once they’re teenagers and bringing their mates round and leaving their stuff everywhere, you’ll wonder how you could ever have thought it was too big. You will have thought through the finances before you moved - it may seem a bit daunting now, but I have no doubt it will all be fine - if the worst thing that happens is that you have to live with an outdated kitchen, you’ll manage!

Firstly, congratulations! A new house is very exciting.
Take a deep breath.
Get it clean and comfy as you can. Then, knock it out room at a time.

You want a new kitchen, but do you need it? Etc…
Focus on the room/ rooms which are most important/ make the biggest difference.

Give it at least 6 months before you give up.

Don't try to do everything at once. Bit by bit! What needs doing first? Prioritise and calm down.

We did this!

First 3 months were an adjustment in terms of utilities, but after that. Great!

You've invested in your future. Enjoy it.

We did this last month. Moved from a flat to a 4 bed house. We have more bedrooms than people. It's wonderful. One room is an office, one a hobby room, DD has a whole floor to herself.

Give it a few years and inflation will happen and the huge mortgage won't feel so big any more. We didn't stretch ourselves the first time and I came to regret that.

I wanted bigger but after I got it, I quickly realised that I preferred smaller house, smaller mortgage, less maintenance, less cleaning. I have been a slave to my mortgage for years!!

Thanks for sharing, this is an interesting perspective. It can all depend a bit on luck too though, as I know a lot of people who stretched themselves back in 2007/8 and ended up in negative equity for years and years, with some only out of it now. So I suppose that's still at the back of my mind if we want to sell in less than 20 years...

I'm so afraid this is going to be me, especially being a slave to cleaning and tidying 🙈. Which I have no interest in doing after going through cleaning up our current house constantly when we were selling. At least there will be more room in the house for the junk to be scattered around, without tripping over it...

Dont panic! Take a deep breath.
We did exactly the same about 15 yrs ago. More than doubled the size of our house (and mortgage) and it was just the 2 of us. For the first 6 weeks I basically lived in the kitchen as the whole house felt far too big. 15 years later, we have 2 large teens and the house is fit to bursting, the mortgage is much more manageable. It was the best decision we made, even though the first few months were very weird rattling around the house.

Thanks for the reassurance. Maybe we need time to settle. Both of us are completely on edge with all that needs to be done and it doesn't feel like home yet.

I’d change your list of what to do - windows and boiler ahead of kitchen, bathroom and furniture?

Honestly with multiple teenagers on their way you are going to learn to love the space!!

Thanks. Yes I thought we'd live in it first before we do anything, just to let the dust settle on the finances and see how we're coping with the bills. But husband is keen to jump into more spending, ripping out kitchen and walls etc. We'd be going into more debt to do it. The kitchen is much worse than it originally appeared during the limited viewings we were able to do, some doors hanging off hinges etc, melamine painted over, ancient ovens and sink detaching from worktop.

How long have you been in your new house OP?

Windows are double glazed and boiler - they are functioning but old. Kitchen seems to be falling apart though. And is poorly and badly planned...

It's a really great thing for your 4 kids to all have their own room as they grow. Having space can make all the difference for older teens. Now you have done the hard work and bought it, roll with it and grow into it. Once your kids have left home you can always re-evaluate & sell up if you choose. You haven't spent that money, you have just parked and invested it for your family's benefit.

Oh god I felt like this when we moved to a fairly normal 4 bed semi detached home in London 😂 the house is now fine with two dc and a study

We went from a large 3 bed to a decent size 4 bed and never looked back. Each kid having their own room is honestly the best thing in the world. Its not even really size but just pure practicality. We all get to have space and you cant put a price on that.

Before that we had a 2 up 2 down but 1 bed room was unusable due to always being ice cold. There was just me and my toddle but it was a nightmare, we more than doubled space when moving to the large 3 bed and it felt huge when empty (we had very little furniture coming from a tiny furnished rental house to a big empty house) but we filled it stuff over the next 10 year (and 2 more kids) until it felt tiny.

Yes we did the same. It’s now over 30 years later, my husband has retired and I’m only working part time, and our daughter has grown up and moved out. The house is full to bursting and we’ve decided it’s time for us to move to what we hope will be our final home. People assume we’re downsizing, but we’re looking at houses at least the same size, and are off to look at a house this afternoon that is double the floor area of our current house and needs a huge amount of work 😆😆. I don’t know what we would do with six bedrooms but I don’t think you can ever have too much space.