No longer forever home

whirlyhead · 26/10/2025 16:44

I don’t think there is such a thing as a forever home. It’s just a house that suits at this particular moment in time and things may change - kids leaving home especially may mean your requirements for a home change. I’ve spent a fortune doing up my current home and I’m quite happy here now but who knows what will happen in five or ten years time. Nothing wrong with moving on in 5 years as 9 years is quite a while to spend in the same place, and if you no longer like the area, just sell up.

Original poster

Headsnorthsouth · 26/10/2025 16:57

@whirlyhead you are right. I think it is a sense of regret that we spent so much time and a fortune. If I knew we would feel that way, we may have done things differently maybe. Who knows.

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AlexisP90 · 26/10/2025 16:59

I always thought i would spend the rest of my life in my last house (also purchased in 2021)

Then I got pregnant and decided I wanted to be closer to family. We moved this year. I think we will probably move again to be honest in a few years if we have another DC.

Don't feel bad about the time and money. See it as an investment. It will surely increase your house price when you sell.

MN2025 · 26/10/2025 17:11

Headsnorthsouth · 26/10/2025 16:24

Posting here as this may be the more appropriate area.

Hello everyone. I wondered how common it is to have spent a lot of time and money renovating what you think would be your forever home to then consider moving on? We've been in our current property since 2021 and did a major renovation that we are now coming to the end of. We kept a strong eye on everything the builder did to make sure it was top standard. We spent a lot of money and time on it. Now that we are at the end and have had time to live in the area, have new neighbours move in and feel a general reduction in the buzz that was around when we bought the property (that may have been because of the property frenzy around Covid), we want to leave in the next 5 years once our kids have finished secondary school.

Anyone else spent time and money doing up their "forever" home only to realise that it isn't? What did you do and how did you deal with the realisation?

What is the market like in your area? If you get a spike then why wait 5 years?

Do you think you’ll get back the money you’ve spent on renovations when you come to sell?

Original poster

Headsnorthsouth · 26/10/2025 17:21

MN2025 · 26/10/2025 17:11

What is the market like in your area? If you get a spike then why wait 5 years?

Do you think you’ll get back the money you’ve spent on renovations when you come to sell?

Show quote history

It's okay but not as buoyant as it was back in 2021. I don't know if we will get back what we invested. We bought top notch carpets, bespoke curtains, etc, etc because we thought we would never move again. Maybe over the next 5 years we will at least breakeven, if we have not yet done so.

I am worried what Rachel Reeves mansion tax might do to property prices more generally. If it depresses prices at the high end, that will ripple downwards too. So unclear whether we will recover what we put into the renovation but then whatever new home we buy, it would be subject to similar economic forces.

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TMMC1 · 27/10/2025 18:54

By your post you are still there another 5 years or so. Embrace and enjoy what you have created.
Or, start looking and focus your energy on a new project

AlastheDaffodils · 27/10/2025 19:00

I’m convinced forever homes are a silly idea. Circumstances change. Taxes and incomes change. Maybe you should downsize when your children leave home. Maybe you want to be closer to an adult child who has settled somewhere else. Maybe you just want a change.

Don’t invest your hopes and dreams about the rest of your life in a pile of bricks.

minipie · 27/10/2025 19:04

We did a major renovation on our current house back in 2018. Spent a fortune on the basis that we’d be here decades. Now looking around…

However, I don’t regret all the work as we’ve had 7 years of enjoyment of it. I also don’t really mind if we never move. House prices are currently insane near us so that looks increasingly likely.

Seeingadistance · 27/10/2025 20:23

Before MN, I only ever saw "forever home" in relation to cats and dogs being re-homed.

I think it seems a bit unrealistic for people, tbh. Circumstances change over time, and a move to a different place or home can become necessary or desirable.

rainingsnoring · 27/10/2025 21:40

I totally agree with the posters who are saying that 'forever homes' and 'dream homes' are a foolish concept. You never know what curved balls life may throw at you and, even if you are very lucky, things changes as time goes on, children leave home, etc.

Peridoteage · 27/10/2025 22:40

We bought our current house thinking it would be our forever house

When we moved out of london we didn't know the area so well, what we bought was the best we could afford at the time - properties were selling like hot cakes. We would have loved a larger garden, but at the time the only things here that came on the market were tiny old houses on big plots that needed a huge renovation (we are not suited to a project like that) or those plots after a developer had doubled the square footage and added seriously swanky decor (which we couldn't afford).

Now 10 years on, we earn considerably more and a house came on that is a decent size on a large plot, tidy & in good nick but not trendily renovated so we can afford it. We are buying it.

Original poster

Headsnorthsouth · 28/10/2025 14:11

Thanks to all for the wise words. It's also good to know that we are far from unusual in wanting to move after just 10 years.

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user2255679541 · 28/10/2025 14:22

My advice, for what it's worth, is to live in it like you're going to stay indefinitely. A lot can change in five years. When the time comes, maybe you'll want to move on, maybe you won't, but it would be a shame to spend half a decade of your life with one foot out the door.

Nettleskeins · 28/10/2025 14:48

I think it's a really interesting question. Strangely enough by 12 years in I was regretting our location as not near enough the secondaries our children went to. And before that when kids were small the school was given minutes away but the garden was too small
Now everyone has left school and the garden seems the right size for two 60 somethings and the bursting at the seams house IS the right size if we were downsized (IE we will never have to...)

There will often be stages in your life where a house feels not 'perfect" but I suppose a forever home ticks most of the boxes most of the time but never all of them!

Think ten years ahead when deciding. When kids live near and have families where would you want to be, as well as your own lifestyle...ten years on from now

Much as I regret to say it ,- it seems a bit cowardly/staid to stay put, I think this will be our forever home.

However there are still tweaks I can imagine making to lay out or the way we live in the space so that gives me less a sense of being 'boxed in" by status quo.

Could you re imagine some of your life in the same house despite your renovations or is that impossible?

ChatNoire · 28/10/2025 14:53

I blame Kirsty. She’s forever talking about forever homes when it’s obvious that stuff happens/life intervenes in so many ways to scupper long-term plans. Either your situation changes or things around you change.
I don’t think it’s that unusual to spend a large amount of money on home improvements only to find you need to move. It’s unfortunate the way the market is right now. All you can do if you must move is to suck it up 🙁

Original poster

Headsnorthsouth · 28/10/2025 15:51

@ChatNoire Kirstie can be blamed for a lot of things :)

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LibertyLily · 28/10/2025 15:58

I agree that no home, however wonderful, is likely to be forever. We've owned a few of what some people might call 'dream' houses, but none turned out to be our dream or forever.

Years ago I longed to live in a particular road - mostly large detached Victorian houses of around 3-4000 sq ft. We managed to buy one when an acquaintance's FIL was selling up a long term rental and at the time I thought I'd never move till I was carted out in a wooden box. We painstakingly restored it from four flats and a bedsit to a family home over several years. Then, our only DS was off to university, so no more massive parties/sleepovers and 3500 sq ft suddenly seemed ridiculously huge for two. The mortgage was also huge! We sold when we'd been there ten years and have been mortgage free ever since.

Another house was a pretty detached tudor cottage - what our buyer called a 'princess house' 🤮 We sold that after three years as the location was not the best (suburbia) and bought a three-storey thatched - very chocolate box - but on a roaring rural A-road. DH loved the house but I was terrified of chimney fires (we actually had one but managed to put it out ourselves!). Both of these could've been forever, but weren't.

Now we're in a little Georgian cottage by the sea - another renovation project - and I'm refusing to call it a forever home as, whilst the location is great, it's a bit smaller than we'd like, so we'll probably move again when it's finished 🙄

MsWilmottsGhost · 28/10/2025 16:14

I think 10 years is a reasonable amount of time to be in a house. A lot can change in 10 years, so what you were looking for when you bought it may no longer be relevant - an area with good secondary schools has no benefit once kids are past school age.

It may just be that your priorities have changed and you are looking ahead to the next stage of life, and that is making you feel a bit uncertain about what you want?

user1471538283 · 28/10/2025 17:12

Oh me! I spent a fortune doing up my favourite house and then moved 2 years after it was all finished! I loved that house and I wanted to stay. I honestly thought I'd grieve more for it but it's just bricks really.

I'm now doing up this place and it will be the last one I do!

Original poster

Headsnorthsouth · 28/10/2025 21:38

Maybe it is the expense that has gone into it. Maybe I would have bought a cheaper carpet if I had thought we would not have stayed for long. Maybe I would have bought cheaper curtains.

I also worry that we might just about breakeven or less if we sell in the next 5 years.

Ultimately, I do realise that none of this matters and what matters is a home where we feel peace and a sense we are settled in.

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MidnightMusing5 · 29/10/2025 22:33

Who are the new neighbours?

MidnightMusing5 · 29/10/2025 22:41

MidnightMusing5 · 29/10/2025 22:33

Who are the new neighbours?

Sorry I mean what is it about the new neighbours that wants to make you move?

DuesToTheDirt · 29/10/2025 22:46

We spent a lot of time and money on our first place, and sold after 4 years (awful neighbours). It wasn't meant to be a forever home, but I thought we'd be there longer, and if I'd known we wouldn't I'd have wanted cheaper things I think, or somewhere that didn't need so much work in the first place.

FastTurtle · 29/10/2025 22:47

Headsnorthsouth · 28/10/2025 21:38

Maybe it is the expense that has gone into it. Maybe I would have bought a cheaper carpet if I had thought we would not have stayed for long. Maybe I would have bought cheaper curtains.

I also worry that we might just about breakeven or less if we sell in the next 5 years.

Ultimately, I do realise that none of this matters and what matters is a home where we feel peace and a sense we are settled in.

You get to enjoy the nice carpet etc though.

Cat1504 · 29/10/2025 23:05

No such thing as a forever home….just the right home for the stage of your life you’re at…..I’m 60 …just about to move to our 5th home ( a bungalow) ….currently in a 1870s cottage which we’ve lived in for 10 years just the 2 of us and dog…..prior to this we had a family 4 bed ( we have 3 DC) …before that a 3 bed semi for 5 years ( when we had 2 DC) ….before that a 2bed for 7 years ( starter home for the 2 of us) ….we’ve renovated each home but never spent loads….done the work mostly ourselves and never gone for high spec stuff ….but always had lovely homes ( I think so anyway!) …..we’ve always made good profit on each house sale….even the one we only stayed in for 5 years