Hate my house.. constant anxiety

[Oucht]

7 years ago we moved to this house and were drawn in by the space it had and were blind to the issues.

We had to replace the central heating… plumbers messed up so paid to fix that.

cold water pipe burst in 9 places.. had to rip up floor from one side of the house to the other leaving our floor all over the place.

had to do the bathrooms and they were ok to start off but the floors are not level, showers not level and workmanship is crap.

we had to replace the outside cladding and put a new roof on it!!! Multiple leaks and tiles were found to be asbestos. New roof chatters.. had them back over and over and they can’t work it out. Can’t climb on it as Marley tiles break and it’s a pyramid to make things worse.

We need a new patio, bathrooms, all new floor upstairs but that’s never gonna happen.. kitchens 80s and hideous.

We can’t afford to move. Hubby won’t downsize for more money and equal houses are even more.
My heart races with stress constantly in here. I hate it.

I feel your pain, OP. I know what it's like to live in a money pit and look around you in despair at everything that still needs to be done (somehow!) and the things that have gone wrong.

It's such a shame your DH won't downsize. Could you look at moving somewhere that properties are less expensive, if possible?

To fix this in my own life, I borrowed more, but it was worth it. Being happy with where you live is so important that when you get that, anything else is just numbers on paper.

You do have the market on your side, apparently... but you do need DH on your side. Does he know how unhappy you are?

Sounds like you can move (by downsizing) but DH won't agree to move. Does your DH know how you feel?

I feel for you, until recently I was in a house I HATED. Everything we did to improve the house, it fought us - newly laid floors would separate and lift after a year max, nothing was done neatly so there were random gaps or holes around everything, the doors wouldn’t open or close as the carpet was too thick, the under stairs was just an empty space but we were quoted £4,000 for built in storage which we couldn’t afford. It had narrow, dingy corridors and faced such a way that the sun never fully came in. No matter how much I cleaned and aired it smelled like an old village hall. It had a courtyard garden and over time the exterior of the wall crumbled away leaving the exposed render. The dining room was carpeted and my husband refused to lay a hard floor when we did the adjacent kitchen so I spent years picking bits of food out of it after every meal with two messy toddlers where even a shower curtain under their chair wasn’t enough.

We have moved now and OMG my day to day mood has changed so much, I’m a different person. Every interaction I have with the house is 100 times easier and it looks so much better and tidier with far less of the effort. I would say get moved by whatever means possible.

Thank you for letting me know I’m not alone . We moved here Essex from Kent to be close to family. We got this at a price we could just stretch to. We went from a 2 bed semi to a 4 bed.

Hubby knows how I feel. He doesn’t want to spend more than we are spending now to downsize. He has a gym set up in the garage and he won’t go without one.

He is the only earner in the house which makes it even harder.
I would love to work but it’s so hard.
i have endometriosis, spinal stenosis, cervical radiculopathy, orange size ovarian cysts, persistent idiopathic facial pain - think every tooth broken nerves open, nerve pain elsewhere and interstitial cystitis- feels like a uti 24/7.

To get something now in this town which we both love that is the same size we would need to double our mortgage and we’re not young. Hubby is 51.