Extension or moving house?!

PrehistoricMother · 2025-07-15T12:54:18+00:00

So we moved to our house in early 2023 (2 bed plus office space) in SÉ London, we are very happy here and love our house and neighbourhood. In the meantime, we had our LO so we said goodbye to guest room resulting to no being able to host any family (our families all live abroad). Not being able to host is becoming a bit difficult as when they visit they need to stay at a hotel. We are thinking of saving for an extension but with nursery costs it doesn’t look like we can do this soon. Husband says we could move in 5 years time somewhere biggernearby (and get a bigger living room for example, as ours is small) but frankly I don’t think we would be able to afford another bigger house in the same area & I am already worried about the 30 years of mortgage payments we have ahead of us… He thinks that there is a chance that we would want to move anyway for secondary schools, but at the moment I feel really attached to the area. What would you do? I feel an extension would solve our hosting situation and make our life easier. We aren’t planning for another child, so we don’t need- need an extra room. Any thoughts?!

Bluevelvetsofa · 15/07/2025 13:59

It depends on the ceiling price of the area, but if you intend to stay long term, that will be less of a consideration.

An extension will probably be cheaper than buying a bigger house.

MeganM3 · 15/07/2025 14:05

Extensions and building work is just mind blowingly expensive. For a loft conversion in London it’ll be over £100k even for a small house.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t do it, it could add value to your home and be an investment.
But family spending £150 a night on a hotel isn’t the end of the world… it is what it is really. You shouldn’t get into debt you can’t afford just to
make things more comfortable for visiting family.

But it doesn’t hurt to engage with a couple of building contractors or neighbours who have done this sort of work to get a rough idea of cost to see whether it’s at all feasible.

Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 15/07/2025 16:32

Thank you so much, you are right the costs are so high, I am amazed that so many houses around us have one!

And yes, it does seem like stressing for other people (this is what my mother says!) but I suppose it could help us not having to go to them all the time, they could come over and help out with childcare etc. Definitely on the “nice to have” category!

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somanythingssolittletime · 15/07/2025 23:34

Both mine and my DH families live abroad. We have 2 DC and live in a 2 bed flat. When family comes (1-2 people) they either stay with the DC in their room or we set them up in the living room. If more people visit they book an airbnb which is cheaper than a hotel. Sometimes I ask if any of my neighbours need house-sitting and our guests stay there. Is any of that an option?

LemondrizzleShark · 15/07/2025 23:38

Houses have them because you are talking about the difference between a 3BR house for £1.2m, or 4BR for £1.5m! So worth spending £100k (also costs were about half that pre-brexit). Not worth it for a 2BR place.

Where are you roughly? (SE London is a big area)

Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 16/07/2025 07:49

Thank you, we are in Anerley/ Penge so not the priciest part of SE London but I can’t see us being able to afford a proper 3-bed anytime soon.

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Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 16/07/2025 07:53

I never thought of house-sitting, but you may have a point there about our DS room. Sleep has not been smooth but I suppose it will be at some point (!) and we could all be in the same room for a few days! I think it’s the extended stay of family, let’s say 2 weeks+ that made me think of extension and general space needs with all the newly acquired baby clutter!

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Advocodo · 16/07/2025 08:24

I have friends whose neighbours very kindly let them stay with them when their children and grandchildren visit but that is usually only for a few days at Xmas.

Northernladdette · 16/07/2025 08:26

PrehistoricMother · 15/07/2025 16:32

Thank you so much, you are right the costs are so high, I am amazed that so many houses around us have one!

And yes, it does seem like stressing for other people (this is what my mother says!) but I suppose it could help us not having to go to them all the time, they could come over and help out with childcare etc. Definitely on the “nice to have” category!

So do you look forward to seeing your parents or getting extra childcare? 😳

Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 16/07/2025 09:00

Oh I would love to see them more often and for them to see where I live, I miss having them over and not just being a guest for a few days when we visit!

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MsMartini · 16/07/2025 09:07

We live in a small 3 bed (2.5 bed really) in S London. DC now grown. I don't think if it vfm to build more or buy bigger in London for the sake of putting people up. Lots of airbnbs near us who attract people visiting family nearby - they can spend the day in your house and just go there to sleep. Round us, people sometimes lend their houses to neighbours if away eg over Xmas to visiting families who keep an eye on things - again they are just using it to sleep. It seems expensive but the money you spend on an extension or moving could be a deposit for your dc to buy their first home.....

YippyKiYay · 16/07/2025 10:02

Um, I can't believe you are considering getting a bigger mortgage or renovating for visitors! We live 2 days drive away from our nearest relatives (and half a world away from the furthest) and there is no way that would consider their 'needs' when choosing a house. Sure, it would be great to have space for all the family should they visit, but we don't.
They get a hotel room or Airbnb when they visit.
Nursery costs are huge, and will go for a few years, and then you'll have school costs (uniforms, clubs, tuition fees, etc etc).
If you still feel like you need to cater for others, why not wait until DC is at least at school and then see where you are financially.
PP suggestions of house sitting for neighbours make sense to explore in the meantime.

MyCoralHedgehog · 16/07/2025 10:50

Would you expect them to get in debt to accommodate you? Of course not. Get a sofa bed or have your child stay in your room when they visit.

Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 16/07/2025 11:50

Thank you all for your replies!

I have never considered asking neighbours to help, this is definitely something we can do. It’s a big cost, we do not have the money right now and probably it can wait. We will reconsider in future! 🙏

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OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 16/07/2025 12:33

If you have room a garden room could also be a good solution, lots cheaper than an extension. Pop a sofa bed in there for people to sleep on, and it's also an extra space for your family when you don't have any visitors.

sarah419 · 16/07/2025 14:34

growing up as kids in similar situations we always gave up our room for guests and slept on sofa/ living room. it was fun, and even better if guests had kids and we had a whole set up in living room with mattresses etc. literal memories were made.

JDM625 · 16/07/2025 15:10

I agree with others that the money could be spent elsewhere, if they are already used to staying a hotel. Some other ideas though:

-Does the study have space for a sofa bed, day bed or ones that you pull out from the wall?
-Get Kirstie & Phil around from Love it or List it
-If the guests generally stay in Summer, consider a garden room in the garden if you have the space
-Or neighbours as others said

DangerousAlchemy · 19/07/2025 10:34

PrehistoricMother · 16/07/2025 07:53

I never thought of house-sitting, but you may have a point there about our DS room. Sleep has not been smooth but I suppose it will be at some point (!) and we could all be in the same room for a few days! I think it’s the extended stay of family, let’s say 2 weeks+ that made me think of extension and general space needs with all the newly acquired baby clutter!

Unless you love hosting family for 2 weeks (!!! yuck imo) then don't make it too easy or comfortable to stay lol 😆 if they font mind feeding a cat whilst staying etc they could house/pet sit while they are over? plenty of people wanting live-in pet sitters in London in imagine.

DangerousAlchemy · 19/07/2025 10:38

OttersAreMySpiritAnimal · 16/07/2025 12:33

If you have room a garden room could also be a good solution, lots cheaper than an extension. Pop a sofa bed in there for people to sleep on, and it's also an extra space for your family when you don't have any visitors.

yeah we have one & my teenage DS and his mates all sleep over in it. My DH has his eye on it now my DS heading off to Uni in a year. There's no loo but we have utility with toilet in it off patio so it's not too bad. I know people who run business from them too (yoga teachers etc) or wfh in them as well as having guests staying. Ours is very well insulated and pretty sound-proof and is also pretty large. Cost £30K so definitely more affordable than loft conversion etc and took 3 weeks to install too.

Dueindecemberr · 19/07/2025 10:46

We were in Sydenham in a large 2 bed flat. Moved in 2020 to a 3 bed house slightly further out (within 5 miles) and have since done a loft conversion (80k all in) and about to extend the ground floor. I would look to move locally, slightly further out if you can.

Sadcafe · 19/07/2025 10:55

Being in London will certainly affect the decision, living much further up north, we had a similar issue years ago, extend or move, at the time it wasn’t much more to build a significant extension than to move, fast forward 20+ years, trying to sell was a nightmare as the ceiling price for the area just didn’t work in our favour, we struggled to achieve anything above the price of the houses which hadn’t been extended and eventually sold what was a 6 bed, three living roomed house for the same price we would have achieved for the original property( judged by sales around us). Guess it depends why you want to extend, ours worked in terms of giving us the house we needed at the time, but don’t automatically assume it will then be worth more

Original poster

PrehistoricMother · 19/07/2025 12:28

Sadcafe · 19/07/2025 10:55

Being in London will certainly affect the decision, living much further up north, we had a similar issue years ago, extend or move, at the time it wasn’t much more to build a significant extension than to move, fast forward 20+ years, trying to sell was a nightmare as the ceiling price for the area just didn’t work in our favour, we struggled to achieve anything above the price of the houses which hadn’t been extended and eventually sold what was a 6 bed, three living roomed house for the same price we would have achieved for the original property( judged by sales around us). Guess it depends why you want to extend, ours worked in terms of giving us the house we needed at the time, but don’t automatically assume it will then be worth more

Thank you for sharing. That’s something that crossed my mind especially as it is a small house, so I am thinking that someone who would be looking for a 3+ bedroom and garden, may also want a larger living area (!?)

We also sold our previous 1-bed flat in the same area and the selling price didn’t increase much unfortunately!

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