Gone sale agreed and freaking out

SilverDoublet · 2025-06-24T22:36:06+00:00

We have just gone sale agreed on a nice enough house, it is 70sqm bigger than where we are and doesn't need much done to it which is rare in our area. It's in a village beside schools a 5 min walk from shop and a bus stop. I am totally freaking out, that my kids and husband will hate it and never get over the move and blame me... Also freaking out in case it's a financial mistake (top of our budget but we can afford it) Also freaking out about the neighbours in case they're awful. Nearly feel like pulling out of the whole purchase, even though we've done a lot to get to here .... Is this normal

iwantavuvezela · 24/06/2025 23:44

or ..... it might just all work out fabulously

Hedgingmybetching · 24/06/2025 23:57

It sounds fantastic OP. Maybe just have frequent visits to the house over the next few weeks whilst the sale proceeds at different times of day to get a feel for any potential anti social neighbours and a feel for the street.

Moving is so stressful, it is not unreasonable to get cold feet and it sounds like a really good area.

What makes you think your husband will hate it? Has he not seen it and was he not part of the joint decision making process? How old are your children? Xx

Piletka · 25/06/2025 06:51

We are in the exactly the same situation as you. We move on Wednesday and I’m freaking out a little with the same thoughts as you. My child has been crying that she will miss our current house as it’s the only home she has ever known. I think it’s normal to feel like this when your small world is changing. We are only moving 5mins away to a much bigger house (top of our budget), better area, bigger garden, closer to amenities and transport and yet there have been several times during the process where I have wondered if we are making a mistake. I think you need to go with your gut feeling on that. Mine is telling me it’s the right decision but it doesn’t mean it’s not accompanied by a ton of emotion and stress.

somuchrubbish · 25/06/2025 09:16

Lets face it, moving house is one of the biggest life changing decisions you make. I think if you don't like where you are, for whatever reason, then its easy to do but if you actually like your house, your area, your neighbours etc and are just moving because you need more space then its actually quite difficult and heart wrenching.

My DH and I have had this dream for years to live near the sea. We have talked about it endlessly for a long time, waiting for our day to come and our opportunity to do what we want with our lives. We have waited for both DC's to grow up and leave home and have lives of their own. We are now in that place and are SSTC and are in the process of buying our home by the sea.

However, I can't shake the feelings of 'what if'. I have loved living in our house. It is our home, it is where we raised our kids and I love it. I love the neighbourhood, our neighbours have become good friends, and I feel comfortable and at home here. As the sale progresses I have found myself wondering if the house we are moving to is the right one. I wonder if we will like it where we move to, will we make friends, will we feel part of the community like we do here.

When I think about not walking our usual dog walks, and going to our usual pub and never pulling up on the driveway of our house and going inside it again I feel really sad. It is a horrible feeling and it has stopped me from feeling excited about our next adventure. And its crazy as its something I have dreamed of for years but I don't seem to be able to look forward to it.

I think its definitely the fear of change and the realisation that once we have let this house go and have moved we can't go back. Its final.

So I do totally get how you feel.

But on the other hand my DH reassures me by saying 'what if this is the best move we ever make?' 'what if we love it?' 'what if we make heaps of new friends?' I know I have to let go and just enjoy this new phase of my life but its definitely been the hardest move we have made for a good few years.

PrincessofWells · 25/06/2025 12:56

I have the same feelings but over a boat on which we live in the summer. Just bought a new (to us) boat and have all those feelings as we have had such happy times. I just keep reminding myself of all the reasons we needed to move on because those reasons still exist.

24Dogcuddler · 25/06/2025 13:13

Completely understandable to feel like this. It is a brave step but you chose the house for a reason.
We are downsizing and the proposed moving date is in 3 weeks.
I keep looking at photos of the house we are moving to. I’m picturing us and the dogs living there, the new kitchen we are having and how we will use and decorate the rooms. Location is very close to our daughter’s house.
This might help you. You can put your stamp on it and visualise how to use the extra space.
It’s been incredibly emotional decluttering and packing up. The house holds so many memories but we are taking them with us.
I also keep thinking about how excited our FTB must be. Doesn’t stop me looking round at my dream kitchen, pantry, utility lovely wallpaper and garden etc. and knowing I will miss them.
Hope it all goes well. Lots of practical suggestions on other threads. They might help with your emotions.

Original poster

SilverDoublet · 25/06/2025 13:35

somuchrubbish · 25/06/2025 09:16

Lets face it, moving house is one of the biggest life changing decisions you make. I think if you don't like where you are, for whatever reason, then its easy to do but if you actually like your house, your area, your neighbours etc and are just moving because you need more space then its actually quite difficult and heart wrenching.

My DH and I have had this dream for years to live near the sea. We have talked about it endlessly for a long time, waiting for our day to come and our opportunity to do what we want with our lives. We have waited for both DC's to grow up and leave home and have lives of their own. We are now in that place and are SSTC and are in the process of buying our home by the sea.

However, I can't shake the feelings of 'what if'. I have loved living in our house. It is our home, it is where we raised our kids and I love it. I love the neighbourhood, our neighbours have become good friends, and I feel comfortable and at home here. As the sale progresses I have found myself wondering if the house we are moving to is the right one. I wonder if we will like it where we move to, will we make friends, will we feel part of the community like we do here.

When I think about not walking our usual dog walks, and going to our usual pub and never pulling up on the driveway of our house and going inside it again I feel really sad. It is a horrible feeling and it has stopped me from feeling excited about our next adventure. And its crazy as its something I have dreamed of for years but I don't seem to be able to look forward to it.

I think its definitely the fear of change and the realisation that once we have let this house go and have moved we can't go back. Its final.

So I do totally get how you feel.

But on the other hand my DH reassures me by saying 'what if this is the best move we ever make?' 'what if we love it?' 'what if we make heaps of new friends?' I know I have to let go and just enjoy this new phase of my life but its definitely been the hardest move we have made for a good few years.

What you say makes so much sense, and I feel the same. The thoughts of leaving the house where the kids were born (home births), learned to walk and talk and had so many family birthday parties is very emotional.

We've discussed moving vs extending endlessly for the last 4 years and knew we would need more space eventually. I still keep feeling like maybe we could stay if I could keep getting rid of all their stuff but the reality is it's going to feel quite cramped in a few years and we can't count on them moving out at 18 or 19 cos that doesn't happen anymore in our area. More likely that one will move out in 13 years...

It's the finality of it all that is awful, and that there's no going back, we've been in our current place for 10 years. It's the best house we ever lived in, but maybe not the best location as we have to drive everywhere. So the new house has more space and is closer to everything, but I still feel sick thinking about it. It's not as nice looking from the outside as our current place but ticks all the boxes on paper at least....
Appreciate hearing from your perspective, makes me feel I'm not just mad, must be normal feelings.

OP posts:

Original poster

SilverDoublet · 25/06/2025 13:40

Hedgingmybetching · 24/06/2025 23:57

It sounds fantastic OP. Maybe just have frequent visits to the house over the next few weeks whilst the sale proceeds at different times of day to get a feel for any potential anti social neighbours and a feel for the street.

Moving is so stressful, it is not unreasonable to get cold feet and it sounds like a really good area.

What makes you think your husband will hate it? Has he not seen it and was he not part of the joint decision making process? How old are your children? Xx

He has seen it, but we are both jaded after looking at so many houses, we are not even excited about this one, it just ticks the boxes. I feel like there will be things he misses that I won't, like walking through the park near our house in the mornings.

OP posts:

somuchrubbish · 25/06/2025 13:44

SilverDoublet · 25/06/2025 13:35

What you say makes so much sense, and I feel the same. The thoughts of leaving the house where the kids were born (home births), learned to walk and talk and had so many family birthday parties is very emotional.

We've discussed moving vs extending endlessly for the last 4 years and knew we would need more space eventually. I still keep feeling like maybe we could stay if I could keep getting rid of all their stuff but the reality is it's going to feel quite cramped in a few years and we can't count on them moving out at 18 or 19 cos that doesn't happen anymore in our area. More likely that one will move out in 13 years...

It's the finality of it all that is awful, and that there's no going back, we've been in our current place for 10 years. It's the best house we ever lived in, but maybe not the best location as we have to drive everywhere. So the new house has more space and is closer to everything, but I still feel sick thinking about it. It's not as nice looking from the outside as our current place but ticks all the boxes on paper at least....
Appreciate hearing from your perspective, makes me feel I'm not just mad, must be normal feelings.

Show quote history

It is honestly a proper mix of emotions that I never expected to feel. My dream of a home by the sea is becoming reality at long last and now its here I am full of nostalgia. I see my children in every corner of this house. I love it. When I go away and come back it feels great to come home. I am scared I won't feel that way about our new house and that I will long to be back in my cottage in the countryside. I am worried I will endlessly look back instead of looking forward and will feel nothing but regret.

There is a massive part of me that knows that our next chapter is waiting for us, and will be exciting, but another part of me that is reluctant to let go of our past 'family home' and our 'family life'.

I think how we are feeling is just testament to the attachments we make to our lives and our surroundings and its not easy to let those things go.

I hope that in a years time I will look back and be happy and grateful for my old abode but will be settled and happy in my new home and that I will be able to leave it where it belongs, in the past.