Hi all, me again!
I’d love some help making a pretty big decision.
Basically, me, my DH and DS (16 months old) are selling our house due to having overspent on our building works and now with the current mortgage rates and me going back to work part time after my maternity leave, we can’t afford the mortgage. We have always been fighting to afford the next expensive thing, and always overspending. For years we’ve totted up at the end of the month and it’s been very stressful. We’ve decided to cut our house budget significantly to change our financial outlook and reduce our stress.
I’ve always imagined giving my children a more outdoors upbringing. I grew up in Surrey where everyone’s dads worked as lawyers or accountants in London and I went to a very academically pushy school. I had a lot of pressure on me from my parents to ‘succeed’ and I’ve spent the last few years trying to unlearn all of that. I’m so conscious that I want to teach my children that the most important thing in life is to be happy, not to be an accountant/lawyer/doctor and to earn loads of money. I feel like growing up in Surrey adds to that pressure. I want my children to know that there are other places that are fun to work in, it’s not all about London.
My DH has the opportunity to change jobs from a London based job to a Bristol based job. I’m also switching to a home based role.
My family are in Surrey and south west London but my in laws are in Gloucester. My parents are very helpful with my son (they do still wind me up a fair bit too! 😂), but my in laws are rather old and doddery, not particularly helpful on the childcare front. They also drive me bonkers from time to time and they depend very heavily on my DH.
Anyway, the dilemma is, we could move to Gloucestershire, have a very small mortgage, be nearer to my in laws, but not have the support of my parents (we are hoping to have more children). Or we could move to Hampshire or Sussex, have a larger mortgage but be closer to my parents. My DS is obsessed with my mum and I feel sad to take him away from her. I dream of a peaceful countryside lifestyle, but still connected to some amenities so that life is as easy as possible. The move to Gloucestershire feels enticing but scary, but something about Sussex or Hampshire feels more like us, we just don’t feel as keen on Gloucestershire for some reason. However I think the move to Gloucestershire feels like I’m in an episode of ‘country life for half the price’. If we moved to Sussex or Hampshire, DH would still work in London so I’m not sure it will really feel like we’ve escaped. I also worry that the pressure I found from school and my peers around me in Surrey when I was growing up will also be there in Sussex or Hampshire.
Anyway, sorry I think I’ve waffled a lot. I’d love to know what anyone else would do in our position. I know I’m incredibly lucky to be able to make this sort of decision, we don’t take our jobs or our situation for granted. We agreed a sale on our house in January and have struggled to decide where to move to ever since.
thank you!