Buying our first home as a family anxiety

[cowboym]

Hey all,

We are looking to buy our first home as a family, we have two DC, and we are finally after a long wait are in a position to buy our very first home,

We moved out very young together due to unfortunate circumstances, and after 13 years of renting and growing up ( bless our hearts) we moved back in with in-laws after my husband moved to a secure employed job, from self employed, to make getting a house easier,

We have done 1year at home and have a 5% deposits, unfortunately being a family of four and our area is £300k at the minimum for a three bedroom home, our total household income is 85k basic, and I have to be honest I feel so anxious about it ( also extremely excited) but the anxiety of the what ifs, worries blah blah blah what if we can't afford it due to the mortgage rates, it saddens me that I would consider a nice income that things will be a little tight,

What I'm asking is can anyone calm my nerves, orrrrrr

Have you been where I am too? Where were a little older to the party we're in our early 30s and buying or brought your first home for you and your family?

Will everything be ok ?

I keep telling myself " for goodness sake give lived on your own for 13 years, don't get me wrong we've had pretty low rent, but other than that had sky high bills in a very old property and we're looking at a new build so energy wise bills should be lower"

I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with it all and like us all about to take on the biggest plunge,

Aghhh please anyone put my mind at ease ! You never know, maybe in a few months I prove myself and write an update that I got the home and nothing to worry about apart from maybe a little more budgeting,

Tia

OP this is the situation pretty much every first time buyer is in.

Renting a long time, feeling like the mortgage is too big etc.

Early 30s is far from late to the party, and very much average!

You've already made me feel a lot better I'm so bloody anxious. I get myself into such a mess over things, but at the same time super excited too, we're so ready for our own space back, x

It's normal to feel anxious about a mortgage, but proportionately that does sound like the max end of what you can borrow and I personally wouldn't be comfortable with it. I feel like the mortgage needs to be manageable for one person for three months should the other one lose their job. If you have savings and that's the case then go for it. If not I'd look out of area.

It is normal to feel anxious but buying a home is the best decision for your family long term.

Thankyou that's true it's the biggest savings pot I can pay into for my DC

You’ll be fine! It’s weirdly easier to buy a house than I thought (I say this despite our purchase taking nearly a year, but wasn’t our fault!) we finally bought last year in our mid 30s, a family house for 4 of us. Our mortgage is huge (nearly £2k a month) but we have a house we won’t outgrow which felt important at this stage, and being able to just decorate and do we want is amazing. I think the house we bought after kids is different to what we would have bought before them which also helps feel this house is long term, so ups and downs of rates slightly less scary potentially as we’re not thinking about when we can trade up. Good luck with your house search!

You've made me feel 10x better and massively appreciate the reply, it's so true and definitely see it as a huge investment for us as a family and when I feel anxious I just think about the idea of autumn and Xmas In the house of dreams ! I'm sure we will settle into paying a mortgage very soon, I think it's overwhelming when you see it on paper, where as rent feels less daunting but obviously dead money,

I know I'll be fine I've just got to jump and get into it ! Thanks ladies and if anyone reads this jump in and join the chat !

Like I've said before, hopefully in a few months I'll be updating saying all is fine xxxx

You are securing your children’s future by buying a house and hopefully leaving them with an inheritance. It seems scary having a mortgage but no more scary than having rent to pay forever. It’s scary being responsible for children and you have already done that. Try to be kind to yourself and accept that this is just a phase you are going through. Anxiety is a dreadful thing to go through.

Advacado Thankyou for your kind reply ! Very well put, I suffer with crippling anxiety it's horrible, I will say tonight we viewed a new build and the lady put us at ease I have to say I'm feeling so relieved ! I can't wait to start putting away now for my kids future