The big move...

[ChswDad]

Dear Mumsnetters,

Hoping to get your advice and valuable experience…

We are in our late 30s and live in chiswick (west London) with our 2 and 5 year old, very happy and grateful for our life, everything the neighbourhood has to offer and the proximity to London’s endless entertainment possibilities… but like many in our situation we want to raise our children with more outdoors opportunities, more safety, a larger house and garden, a stable community where we can keep a busy social life and fill our house with friends… we like the idea of a smaller town environment (vs London so that’s relative) and have our eyes set on Guildford at the moment although there are a few other options we are considering.

I grew up in a busy city which I didn’t particularly enjoy as a child while my wife grew up in Scotland and really enjoyed a type of life where people come around your house all the time and where your parents are friends with your friends parents etc. which we are finding difficult to recreate in London where people seem to keep more to themselves. We are having to stay commutable to London due to my work. In your experience can we find the life I tried to describe by moving say to Guildford or similar? How easy did you find it to integrate and make friends etc.?

Some practicalities are unknown to me, for example having to take your car everywhere vs just walking to the high street, to the park, the tube etc in London. Or when you have young children and a nanny might be picking them up from school, does she drive? Or is it not a thing to have a nanny like in London and kids just go to after school clubs before you drive them back home yourself? Keen to see how others are managing the wrap around care outside of London when both parents are not able to do school hours every day?

If the above make sense to you or if you have been in the same situation moving out of London I would be very interested to hear your story, things you found difficult to adjust to, what you have found after your move etc.

Thank you so much!

Much depends on your budget and the size of house you’re looking at.

Do you want to be close to a town centre, or further out in countryside?

Many schools have after school clubs, but it depends what the hours are. Most people have a car, because public transport is not necessarily where you need to be.

Richmond, Kingston areas might suit. Woking has a fast train service to Waterloo, but the probably isn’t what you’re looking for. There are lovely villages around the Guildford area, with access to countryside, but might be too rural.

We lived in London for a long time (20ish years, most in central) and made a move similar to the one you are describing (though to a popular affluent W Sussex market town for family reasons). I haven't come across anyone using a nanny, but a lot of people use afterschool clubs, childminders, relatives etc.

We both wfh (I go in 1 or 2 times per month, DH 2*a week) and have close relatives nearby, so our situation.is somewhat different.

It can be difficult to adapt after life in London (depends where you move to, but some people can roll their eyes somewhat at Londoners moving in- we countered this by pointing out DH jad grown up there) but it can be done. We found a lot of our community was built around school after DC started reception, and includes a number of people like us.