Opinions on Broxbourne/West Cheshunt and surrounding areas

[mrsys]

Hi All,

We are originally from London and moved to Milton Keynes 2 years ago, but are moving back due to being really far from friends/family/support system.

We are considering Broxbourne, West Cheshunt, Hoddesdon, Cuffley, Goffs Oak but are not sure which one to go with for our young family (two girls, aged 4 and 1, we are in our early 30s).

Ideally we'd like an area that is somewhat culturally/ethnically diverse with parks, community, a high street and transport links into London as being close and easily accessible to family is a priority for us.

Which areas have great primary/secondary schools that our kids can grow into, with things to do in the area - soft plays, farms etc. We're happy to travel into London for date nights etc, but would love to be able to eat locally or in surrounding towns.

Thanks so much in advance!

You can google all those towns and get information about them on your computer. Just key in the name of the town and up will come a page telling you all about it.

Do you really need to leave though? What would you say is lacking in the community you are in now, as to support? What support do you need that you cannot find? Usually there are many people who have a need to help others. Your children are very young, and vulnerable to change.

Moving house is the most stressful thing you will ever do. Two years is a very short time to be in a place before finding your place in the society. Many people take much longer. Don't be put off by extroverts who rush in where angels fear to tread.

Give yourself a little more time. Soon your eldest will be starting school. Is she at nursery now? Would she be able to settle down somewhere else? Would you?

You have a year old infant. What support do you need that you are not getting from the GP practice, the health visitors? What is putting you off staying where you are? When the children are grown more, you could get more involved and be a support to new mothers when they come, giving them the help you cannot find.

We can always help others from our own experiences.

Sometimes rushing into something that isn't right for you causes more problems.

Look up all those places on the internet and have a think about it. The grass always looks greener in the next door field until you get closer, and you find the same worn places and muddy patches.

Thank you for taking the time to respond to my question, however I feel you have misunderstood/judged my need to move.

There is no rush to move, I am doing research and asking real people opinions about an area, “Google” cannot always help… I have done all the research I can about those places, and would like to hear about the areas from people who have experienced them, are you from any of those areas or did you just rush to give an opinion simply because I have young children and you feel moving would be wrong for them.

I am very aware that moving is stressful, but like I said we have no support here and I have really struggled living here, hence we are looking for a happy medium where we would be closer to our friends and family who can help us.
I did not expect to want to leave here, but sometimes things just don’t work out.

”Support” from GPs etc is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about having a village/community of people we are familiar with to help able to help us with our children if we have things to do. Currently we always have to drive 50 miles or family to do the reverse to support us, which is not always possible.

I shouldn’t have to justify myself, all I am doing is asking people for opinions on an area not for them to approve my decision to move and do what is best for every member of my family - that is up to us.

@llizziewhat a strange answer!

op. The areas are all fairly nice.
You won’t struggle for primary schools in any of those locations.
secondary schools- hoddedson (Robert Barclay) and broxbourne school and the Best ones in the area. Both have very small catchment areas, although broxbourne also offers exam entry.

broxbourne has lovely parks/woods to explore. Although not a high street. It’s very close to hoddesdon town for shopping.

not to throw a spanner in the works, but have you thought about Hertford/Ware. I think those towns tick all your boxes! Good schools/transport/shops/park/woods/

@purpleygrey To me, it seems like @llizzie was actually trying to get underneath the real issue, which I thought came from a place of compassion.
It’s rarely about the place itself, is it? The place is usually just a reflection of what’s going on internally unless it's a complete mismatch/**hole.

I am sorry I gave that impression. Of course you don't have to justify yourself

I put my post in questions for you to think about, and chew over in your mind, rather than advice.

So what you really want is to be closer to your family? I won't ask your reasons for that. Have you asked your family where you can have the community you seek closer to them?

You also are seeking a ''village/community of people you are familiar with to help able to help us with our children if we have things to do''.

That, I wondered about. Village communities don't just happen. They are worked on, and are the sum total of everyone there.

They will help people in need, yes, but will they understand what you mean by ''things we have to do'' when you ask for help. In a community everyone makes the effort to help others.

You say:-
''I am very aware that moving is stressful, but like I said we have no support here and I have really struggled living here, hence we are looking for a happy medium where we would be closer to our friends and family who can help us.
I did not expect to want to leave here, but sometimes things just don’t work''

Unless you open up more to us on the thread, how can we know what you are looking for in the places you mention? Only the friends and family you want to be closer to can answer that for you.

Nor do you say what support you need, just that you need it? Families need two breadwinners in today's world. Very few can afford not to work. Most people have problems managing their own families, and have little time to volunteer to help others. Can you buy the support you need? By that I mean are there people in that area that you can employ to help you, or are you hoping to rely on someone giving their time for free? Even friends and family cannot do that very often.

You say you have been in your home for two years. If your DC is just one, then you were pregnant and giving birth almost the whole time there. Your other DC is 4. Did you need a lot of support when she was born? Is that the support you are missing now?

You may not agree with what I am going to say and I will not apologise for it, but you have two lovely children who you are responsible for until they are 18. How much time you spend on them now will determine how they will grow. You are responsible for showing them what foods to eat, clothes to wear, how to read, how to speak properly, how to act in society, to be civil, and friendly without being too close to those they do not know.

That is really a full time job until they leave primary school at least, but even as they enter their teens they will need your guidance and support - and security, because I believe teens are more vulnerable than at any age and are open to abuse if they are not taught how to live socially.

They really need all the stability you can give them yourself, because family and friends move, and have their own problems to deal with. New mothers have to be the heart of the family themselves, and put off the things they want to do until later, unless they can afford a nanny and home help, which sadly, very few of us can do.

If you have enough money, the help you pay for is far better than seeking voluntary help. If you ask for that too often you will lose support from them.

So few of us realise just how enormous the responsibility it is to raise a family and juggle the books.

It is another point of view, that's all.

Would you move to an area in the hope of finding a support group community that can help when ''doing other things?' I have lived in village communities and it is all about give and take if it is voluntary. Not much of that nowadays. If people want support more than likely they need to pay for it, and live in an area where there are people who need the work

Id someone misses the help of friends and family and is unhappy, best to ask the family rather than go to an entirely new place where no one knows them.

Is it wise to move to a place with a two year old, go through a pregnancy, then give birth and just a year later be dissatisfied and move to a new home with 4 and 1 year old?

I think it unwise and said as much, but no one has to take suggestions or answer questions, but it was a very long OP.

I looked up the cost of houses in Broxbourne and a small semi at £550K is more than I can afford, so if you can afford that, then you could move anywhere.

The crime rate is lower in Hoddesdon and the houses are cheaper than Broxbourne if that's any help?

If you're in your early 30s, Cheshunt has plenty to offer. It's a safe, family-oriented area with a real sense of community. Contrary to some claims, it does have a central hub. The pond area serves as a kind of high street, and a new development near the station is set to establish a proper town centre soon.5 Jan 2024

Known for their peaceful surroundings, excellent schools, and convenient transport links, Goffs Oak and Cuffley offer an idyllic setting for families, professionals, and individuals alike. Whether you're looking to buy or sell a home, these villages provide a diverse range of properties to suit every lifestyle.

House prices are high. You need to be well healed.

You could try looking west - Bicester or Banbury for instance. May be further from London than you are wanting, though.

Why is Hertford so expensive?

Supply is thin on the ground and the area's rich history, culture and beauty, means it commands a premium. House prices in Hertford have risen 60% over the last decade, with flats rising 57%.

Moving to Ware, you'll find a peaceful town that fuses a rich historical backdrop with a charming riverside setting. Steeped in history, Ware has been one of the oldest continuously occupied settlements in Europe since 4000 BC. The town has a bustling high street brimming with necessary amenities, linking with a calming ambience of water activities on the River Lea, including boating, fishing, and kayaking. Ware isn't merely ideal for water enthusiasts, but also for walkers and cyclists who would delight in a tranquil stroll. The convenience of commutable transport links to London combined with the pristine nature of its own attractions makes living in Ware a pleasant experience.

A semi detached will set you back £700K

It may have come from a place of compassion, but the delivery was all wrong.
It is a sensitive subject involving real people, and instead they suggests I ask Google?

One can’t really write their whole life story to explain things. Where we live is lovely, however things have changed from a family perspective. Both our Mum have been diagnosed with arthritis, which has affected their mobility amongst other things.

I have struggled mentally being so far from a support system which is friends etc, I’m not looking for free baby sitters, we currently hire a nanny to help with our children. A support system, friends to talk to not just over the phone, but in person.

The main issue is finding a balance that works for us as parents and our children, coming from London it’s a big change and we did not expect to want to move so quickly but here we are. We are taking our time to find the right place for the entire family.
Sometimes in life things don’t always pan out the way you want but we have the freedom to look for what does.

When we made the move up here my in laws were also to be moving up here too, which heavily influence us moving here, but life happens and they weren’t able to, so now we are quite isolated from our friends and family, and we are just trying to close that gap and go somewhere much closer. Right now we’re about 50 miles away from everyone, so the desire is to close that gap and settle somewhere and build our community gradually whilst also being able to see friends and family.

This is where you sound like you’re judging instead of asking questions for me to ponder on. Your tone is off.

“entirely new place where no one knows them”
This is untrue. And again you have judged/assumed. Why do you think I’m specifically asking about these areas.
We have friends in and around these places - Harlow, Cuffley, Hoddesdon and other places close by like Borehamwood and Chelmsford.

I expect to go and build a community of friends etc
I’m not looking for free help or babysitters, as you have said we can buy that which we already do by hiring a nanny.

Do I think it’s wise to move to another area? Yes I do, for the circumstances of my life yes I do. Please stop with your generic advice.
I am well aware of the ages and impact a move can have on my children, I am taking my time. We are not moving tomorrow.

I can see you have posted some generic “copy and paste” advice, which is probably your way of helping, but hasn’t as I have also read the same summaries and researched the areas.
I am trying to get thoughts from real people.

Cheshunt and Hoddesdon are shit holes. Gridlocked at school run time. Scooters buzzing all over the place. Plenty of cash only barbers, nail bars etc. The council has lost the plot. Hence reform getting in at county level. On the surface it all looks okay but there is an undercurrent of entitlement by the community. It used to be okay.

Hi OP! Sorry you’ve had some strange messages on here.

I don’t know the areas you’ve asked for but can recommend Enfield Chase (EN2), just south of where you’re looking. It’s very green, family oriented, great schools and well connected into London with the overground, rail and a short bus or drive from tube if needed.

Being near your support network is so vital! I hope you find the right place for your family.

I was going to suggest Enfield too - Enfield Chase is really nice. Have you considered New Barnet or East Barnet or even Potters Bar?
What is your budget? How much you have to spend on a house will have a big impact on where you can move to.

@llizzie stop spamming her thread and move on!

You couldn’t pay me to live in Hoddesdon or Cheshunt. They are both awful. Broxbourne is not as bad.

Cuffley is poles apart. And Goffs Oak is nice, nut not as nice as Cuffley.

Thank you for such a lovely message! I really hope we find the right place too!

We’ll definitely look at Enfield Chase, sounds like a great place with what we’d be looking for, I fear we’ll be priced out though, our budget sits around £600k

Yes we love New Barnet and surrounding areas. We actually rented there when we got married years ago but were priced out unfortunately.
New Barnet/Potters Bar would be a dream as well as are used to those areas and know it works well with family/friends transport etc.

Budget is £600k but could stretch to £700k if needed.

We’ll definitely look again, we’re not in a rush as we want to make sure choose the right place, so can wait until the right place comes up for us!

I do copy and paste. That is deliberate on my part, because it is exact and verified. I could put it in my own words, but why should I? If you want verification and truth, what more than getting it from Zoopla and the official crime percentage?

Why did you post? What advice did you want, if you can find that advice yourself? If you said you had a nanny, I would not have made that comment. If all you want is for us to say 'go ahead, do what you like, go where you like, they are all nice places, why the thread?

Whether you make friends or not depends on you. You asked about certain areas you wanted to move to. You didn't say that all of those areas you had friends in. If they are your friends, did you ask them? They could move: what then?

I tried to respond to your questions, trying to give you other angles to consider. If you are not happy where you are because you cannot make friends, you need to ask yourself why. You have to ask yourself a lot of questions, and I just thought I was giving you those questions.

You don't like them. Fair enough, I shan't give you any more, though why you should criticise me for quoting what the town councils of those places you like say, and Zoopla and other agents who know what the areas are and how much the houses cost, what are the amenities, then I shan't post any more.

Before you go much further, can I point you in the direction of another thread:

"DH has moved out"
Which you might like to read. It isn't the same problem you have - yet - but worth considering.

mrsys · Today 07:44
This is where you sound like you’re judging instead of asking questions for me to ponder on. Your tone is off.
“entirely new place where no one knows them”
This is untrue. And again you have judged/assumed. Why do you think I’m specifically asking about these areas.
We have friends in and around these places - Harlow, Cuffley, Hoddesdon and other places close by like Borehamwood and Chelmsford.

It was 4 days before anyone responded to your OP. I did, because I thought you sounded as though you could do with a help in deciding where to go, and why you wanted to go.

If your friends are in a place, then go move there and be with them. I suggested you consider your position. At that time you said nothing about your friends living there, and you most certainly DID specify those places.

What exactly do you want people to tell you?