Next door house to the one we loved

[Toviewornottoview]

DP and I saw a house we loved a few months ago. It ticked all the boxes and was really good value. Unfortunately we missed out as the successful buyer was chain free.

The next door house (identical) has now come up for sale, but is considerably more expensive. It turns out the one we saw was for sale by receivers, so was just priced to clear debts. I still really like this house, but DP doesn’t want to see the one that is now listed as a matter of principle. What would you do.

The first was listed at £485, the one that has just come on is £575,000 🤯 but I love it!!

A house purchase is a huge thing. It’s something you both have to agree on, so if DP is set against it there isn’t much you can do.

It would be tough to live next door to a house knowing it sold for £100,000 less than its value, so I understand his frustration.

I don’t think the current one is over valued though. Just the other one was a right place right time. Which we weren’t. I think we should at least see it? I don’t want to discount a house we like, and spend the same money on something less good out of principle?

It'll depend on your circumstances as well. How quickly do you need to move? If there anything else on the market that ticks most boxes for your both? What is the maximum you can afford.

If you can afford the higher price, does DH agree it's the best on the market or in the best location, and will you be happy living there.

A house that is your home is worth the money you can afford to spend on it. We made a loss (a lot smaller than your gap in price admittedly) but I can't put a price on all the happy memories I have and the fact I love living here still.
No harm in looking, the gap in price may be less if it's nicer inside and doesn't need stuff doing to it tbh.

There’s another further up the road, which is 10k more again, needs work inside and smaller sq footage. DP wants to see that one, but because it isn’t identical to the other is happier with the idea of the price of this one.

We can afford the 575, but would need an offer accepted on the 585 one. Which I think we might get, but it seems crazy to me to pay 580 (or whatever for a smaller house, in less good condition, because DP is sore about the other one)

We are under offer and risk going into rented if we can’t start a purchase soon.

He is just being so stubborn. I understand that stubborn is his negotiating tactic, but here he is just negotiating against me into a bad deal to soothe his sore feelings

He's an idiot. How do you normally tolerate him?

your husband needs to work through his feelings re the house you want to view. He is being very silly to not want to view it. It wasn’t your fault you couldn’t get the 1st house £100k cheaper.

He isn’t usually so difficult, which is why I don’t know how to get him to see sense on this.

My worry is, by time he’s worked through his feelings this one will have gone too.

We have max 580k to spend, and there isn’t much on the market here that ticks our boxes. I am tempted to book in a viewing anyway, but he is likely to refuse to go in on the day, and should he then change his mind I don’t think the estate agent would let us visit again.

He says he’d never be happy their knowing what we missed out on with the one next door, but I wouldn’t be happy in a smaller, more expensive house up the road!!!

I also am not going to be happy paying money on rent because he is messing around.

I just don’t know how to reason with him. He sees every part of house buying as a negotiation, but negotiation with me is a step too far.