I have been experiencing building inspection for extension build issues and husband communication issues
I hope someone has the time to read this and can help me regain some insight and knowledge.
Please note smiley faces in my post are used to ease my ability to cope with this jarring situation.
Chapter 1:)
During extension build after initial inspection of foundations and party wall were passed, my Husband refused to call the building inspector with him stating I am anxious for no reason and our builder assured him he will take care of building control. He insisted 3 times he did not need to call them.
Chapter 2:) Comms between building inspector and builder
The building inspector then encouraged the builder to carry on with works and to keep sending photos to him via whats app. The building inspector failed to arrange a time to attend the property after the builder tried to arrange this.
The builder then stopped sending that building inspector photos.
At some point - the building inspector changed after a company takeover leaving records missing from his phone but also the new company were missing the initial building certificate of the foundations, so I had to send this to them to put on file as all they gave us to substitute this was a text file with no photos.
Chapter 3 :) Extension works delayed - communications issues with builder
Our extension build was nearly complete but delayed due to our builder's misogyny and culture shock for a woman (me) to handle project management. At the start of the build, the builder strangely said we are his gods ... and he will give us all he wants (I didn't believe any of this but husband is of same culture as builder and didn't find this odd). Trying to rectify this went on for over a year.
Then the the builder to threw a hissy fit about me raising with him the issue of him not allowing enough room for floor build up on the ground floor bathroom for UFH. The builder refused to rectify it stating he already installed the shower and wall panels. Then he hung up on me and refused to communicate. In fact his mistake was that he had catered only for an incompatible UFH that is not meant to be installed in bathrooms. That kit was thinner than the thinnest waterproof UFH on market hence there was not enough height build up to install the correct bathroom compatible UFH safely.
Since builder hung up on me and blocked me, my husband is the only one liaising with the builder. The builder is now continuing with the build (yet to attend but in discussions), and liaising somewhat with outstanding building inspections (took us months to get this info from the builder - now nearly 80% of the 2nd and 3rd stage of the inspections are complete). We did have our own photos too but I thought it best to have the builder send photos for record purposes should he be liable for any reworks due to failed building inspections.
Chapter 4 :)
Found out the contract is filled out wrong - builders name instead of company in the contract. Could be honest mistake or could be on purpose. I suggested to my husband to get this corrected. Still awaiting this correction.
Builder has no assets such as his house in his name. Company accounts show low funds.
Builder is only insured for public liability (PL) not damage form poor workmanship or faulty work. PL seems to only cover works within policy period if works cause damage to property (example plumber works cause pipe to burst) but not if the damage has not occured yet - effectively you would have to wait for the damage to occur within the insurance policy period and avoid recitifying it yourself in this instance if you wanted it covered by PL.
Chapter 5 :) Building inspector vs engineer
We now have an issue with what is outstanding on the building inspection list. The height of the floor in the extension seems to be an issue due to the way the builder laid paving slabs beneath two pieces of mesh before pouring the concrete down. New building inspector says builder should have used plastic feet or concrete risers/ stands. Not paving slabs laid with gaps apart. Got husband to contact engineers - he found one who did a report to pass the works where they stated that although the oversite flooring isn't ideal, due to it being a residential property, therefore load will not exceed max requirements, so the floor will be fine.
Then the building inspector asked the engineer if his report was based off of the same photo the builder referenced for when he raised the issue with the floor which he deemed as a contravention (making a three month limit countdown timer on this issue). Then this led to the engineer asking us (despite issuing his report already), to ask the builder what the thickness of the concrete is.
I don't understand why the engineer didn't just say yes these are the photos he based his report on or include them with his report.
Chapter 6 :) Husband displaced anger and avoidance
Husband texts me that the building inspector is being a asking that question.
I stated he is not - he is asking the engineer to reference the photos his report is based on as the builder did not reference or send or include this with his report to approve the laying of the oversite floor.
I told husband not to mention the floor as yet to the builder before he got contract corrected incase the builder disappears for a 2nd time. However, he went ahead and asked him anyways but didn't mention the engineer incase the builder gets spooked and (yes I know the builder is a - insert bad word) but my husband seems to think it is the building inspector who is a (insert bad word) because husband has now seemed to trauma bond with our previously absent builder!!!!!!!
Husband screamed at me now because I expressed some worry about this as i believe we risk the building disappearing again after he gets ear of the issues with the floor.
I fear we may never get the contract fixed but am hoping the build will get completed with all inspections. Luckily the builder sent over the floor height info which the engineer is happy with.
I am just so tired of
a) people not doing their jobs, trying to avoid full accountability or scraping the sides doing the minimum
b) husband causing this mess from when he refused to call building control in the first place (over a year ago now) :(
c) parties not following due diligence asking questions after they already carried out works / report/ inspections
d) builder being misogonist (and possibly also my husband - yes I know, I married him but didn't realise this)
e) husband refusing any decisions I wanted to make on the chosen builder, with him choosing the cheapest one (via vetted company who failed to vet the builder before he got our details and stopped business with them)
f) husband not doing due diligence and refusing to let me do due diligence withholding information of the building control company from me whilst simultaneously telling me I was being anxious for no reason.
g) every time I try to mitigate risks and find solutions for us, my husband goes right against this then if it ends up a mess he says he can't change it and then buries his head in the sand and leave me to clean up the mess
h) husband choosing to prefer to have faith and trust in the builder who left him with a house we can't even live in yet and delays works, gritted his teeth at me and hung up on me, meanwhile he calls the building inspector a but not the builder!!!!
i) Husband taking out all of his frustrations and inability to tackle issues with the builder (takes me having to ask him check in on progress, remind him again etc. (as builder won't speak to me) out on me
j) husband gives me no credit or thanks and it totally ungrateful for my efforts in liaising with building control and ensuring husband gets the info from the builder.
Can anyone commend on what they think of this?
I am being unreasonable/ too anxious/ worried for nor reason?!
I feel like I am in a nightmare I have no control over and any attempt to resolve ends up with me being verbally abused when things go wrong because my husband didn't do due diligence and instead made out due diligence is an 'anxiety trait' of mine!
I am exhausted by everyone except the building inspector. I am the only female on and engaging on this project.
I am astonished of the possibility my husband has trauma bonded with the builder! And the engineer made a report without considering the height on the concrete floor and didn't include the photos!
Even more exhausted my husband trusts men he doesn't even know or those who have let the build down more than he trusts me. Whilst my husband lacks due diligence and expect these men to take care of what is at the end of the day mine and his responsibility as we are the home owners!!!!!
Btw when we had a hole in our roof my husband said we do not! I ended up having to get in a roof specialist who deems it was a hole in the roof. Also husband said he would do the garden for 2 years and failed. I then had to hire someone to get rid of the junk and help his install a 2 years old shed! I htink. 2 years is the limit before I get to tackle any issues because anytime before this, my husband accuses me of not giving him the chance and insists HE WILL do what he says he will do! Also never had a wedding. Ended up with quite reception civil ceremony. I will be damned if I don't have this house finished aswell! And of course we are not parents as my husband seems to be the only I can parent (involuntarily) at any one time - which seems to be all of the time unless he is out with clients or at work/ social drinks!!!
Sorry this post is so long! I appreciate if anyone takes time to read this even if they aren't able to comment.