Should I move?

[Wineandrun]

Currently live mortgage free in a 4 bed, detached house on a nice estate with my husband, 3 kids and dog. Quite a small, safe town near the coast. Easy walk to primary school, post office on the corner. Middle child loves playing out with friends. Other two not so bothered. Otherwise, we drive to supermarket, beach, family, secondary school. My parents are half an hour walk/ 5 min drive.

however- the house is too small for us and has a tiny garden. We have a lot of stuff and a lot of hobbies. And we love being outside.

We have found a house which is 5 miles out of town, it is perfect, although would mean a small mortgage (we are very lucky that this is not an issue). It is exactly 10 minute drive to my parents and the supermarket, 15 mins to primary school, although not walkable due to being on a country road. It is surrounded by woodland, we know our potential nearest neighbours and it’s generally a lovely place.

Do we sacrifice being in the town for more space and land? None of us have an attachment to the current house, we’ve only lived in for 3 years. I hate the house personally, we are falling over each other and the kitchen is tiny. Secondary school isn’t a problem but I don’t want my youngest kids to change primary school (we would no longer be in the catchment for their current school) so there would be no bus provision.

I work from home, husband works near the secondary school and could do those drop off/ pick ups. We would both happily make the effort to be parent taxi, we do anyway for clubs. The only difference is there is no bus into town so as the kids get older, they won’t have the freedom to go where they want.

I’m mad to consider it aren’t I?

Move. What are you waiting for? All the problems you’ve listed have solutions.

Aren't there any suitable, bigger houses that are still in town rather than 5 miles away?

I would say, think not just about now but when the kids are teenagers. It’s great that you are happy to be parent taxi, but is there a bus stop by the possible new house which can get older kids into town/school if they want to or need to go independently?
Are there any bigger places in town that you can afford?

There are bigger houses but not ones with any decent garden/ land.

Think you’d be mad. The point about teens is a crucial one. It really curbs the social life of friends living in a similar location near our village, and they spend their lives driving teens about.
are you just bored?

Even if you're willing to be a taxi service I think teenagers benefit from going out themselves to friends, taking the bus etc.

I lived briefly (renting fortunately) in a place on a country road that was dangerous to walk on. I'd never do it again, even less so with children.

I wouldn't move to the house you describe. I'd sit tight and wait for a bigger house that's better connected and compromise on the outdoor space if necessary. It's a massive PITA having to drive everywhere, esp for kids as they get older, which happens in a heartbeat. You're in a good position where money isn't the issue for moving so there must be better located bigger homes even if they're not currently on the market.

I would move given you don’t like your house, but wouldn’t move to the one you’ve found because of the teen transport. Wait for another house then move?

I would move after your teens leave the house, but not before. I have an 11 year old and her independence is so important for her and for me. She wants to do things on her own, go to the local shop and buy treats, meet friends. I would hate to hinder her independence. Realistically, how much time would your growing children spend in the garden vs wanting to be out with friends or talking on the phone in their rooms?

I think the house you describe sounds dreamy, but personally I would wait until teens are out of the house.

Definitely move! I’ve recently moved to a much bigger property and garden, very similar situation to you - BEST THING I EVER DID!

I would compromise on a smaller garden over living 5 miles out of town with kids and no bus route into town. So I would still move as you say you hate your current house, but not to the one you're currently considering.

Kids like to be independent as they get older and it's easier to drive to the countryside at weekends than be driving everywhere all the time.