Neighbours and fence painting - awkward communications

[youkiddingme]

Hi, We are wanting to paint all the garden fences this year. Have discussed with one neighbour - all good.

However, we had a disagreement with neighbours at the other side some time ago, and they haven't spoken to us since.

There were long-standing disagreements over boundary matters at that side that we weren't aware of when we moved in 2 years ago. In all fairness, I didn't handle things well as I was under huge stress and ill at the time. Part of the problem was that they planned work which could possibly affect our property, some of which legally required our permission, but the first we knew was when vibrations through our house alerted us to them starting work. In retrospect, I doubt he'd have caused damage but that's not what I thought at the time.
It was one of those things that snowballed, not helped by me taking offense at a remark the man made that I considered misogynistic, or taking his keen interest regarding what we should do with our property and offers of help as intrusive - all a matter of perspective obviously. It ended with me consulting our house insurance for advice, then telling the neighbour it wasn't my business what he did in his garden, but I wasn't giving him permission to do work with might affect my property (our garage wall forms part of the boundary) because he couldn't give me any details - 'I'll work it out as I go along'. I informed him that if he did any damage he'd be liable for the cost of repairs. He changed his plans. I did apologise for my part in handling things clumsily and offered them a peace-making gift. The man declined.

So - the fence is shared. It's the solid overlapping type fencing so paint shouldn't go through. The top is weathered and needs attention. I'm happy to suggest I can paint the top, or leave it to them if they would prefer to do so. The colour I'm using is a neutral dark brown, not dissimilar to the paint last used. I'd prefer to discuss this with them, nicely, but they told us not to go on their property, nor communicate in writing, and when we occasionally see them they immediately avoid us.
How to proceed?

How much time has passed since you fell out?

I'd be very tempted to do as you suggest and go speak to them and ask nicely.

If they won't talk to you - well, there isn't anything you can do is there?

Think carefully in future about falling out with neighbours. It's more important to be on good terms with them than people realise.

I’d put a note through the door explaining your plans and see if they respond. If not then I would carry on.

Just push a note through their door, telling them what you are planning on doing and if they have any objections to come around and you’ll discuss plans. They probably feel awkward too so won’t approach you snd then you can pain your fence guilt free! Make sure you put a date on the note so they know how many days they have b4 you start painting

Do you actually need to go on their side to paint the fence? Usually you just do your side. If it doesn’t go through to the other side it really isn’t any concern of theirs.

About a year.

No. But I believe it is normal to advice neighbours and check they have no objections. Also, it means standing at the fence on a step ladder (tall fence) and it's unavoidable that I'd be facing roughly their way which would be uncomfortable for them with no warning.

I’m imagining horizontal planks of wood overlapping ( like roof tiles ) with a rail along the top, so agree you should be able to paint your side without it going through to their side.

On balance I’d go ahead and paint because :
They’ve told you not to communicate with them in any way.
If you ignore that and try to give them a polite heads up , they could be bloody minded and refuse or paint their side bright red ( knowing it would come through ).

So I’d get on with the painting. If they come over to speak , I’d want to tell them not to communicate with me in any way be polite but point out they have put a block on communication.

Whose fence is it? If it's yours, crack on and give a courtesy warning. If it's theirs, talk to them.

OP states the fence is shared.

If their side is dark brown I doubt they’d notice you’d painted the top. So I’d go ahead and do it. Carefully so the paint does not under any circumstances drip down onto their side.

Dark brown fences are a hang over from the 80’s awful
i would not like it if a neighbour did that to my fence
of course the top is seen from both sides