Fence issue with neighbour

Hoppinggreen · 03/04/2025 09:08

Could you put up a fence of your own?
I don't think doing anything to their fence without their permission is a good idea

LIZS · 03/04/2025 09:18

Offer to pay half? If it is behind the shed it can’t be due to the footballs.

Original poster

Silosy · 03/04/2025 09:21

We can’t put up our own fence due to layout.

Offering to pay half is a possibility. I hadn’t thought of it.

The panel is only partly behind the shed so still gets balls kicked at it.

OP posts:

GasPanic · 03/04/2025 11:29

I would put up my own in front of theirs. Hopefully their old one will protect your new one from the worst of the ball bombardment.

Mareleine · 03/04/2025 12:03

You're blaming footballs and she's blaming a tree but TBH it sounds like it's just a very old knackered fence that has been ravaged by the passage of time. I think you need to both stop blaming each other and come to some sort of agreement to move forward. Paying half seems like a good solution but you need to approach it without blaming or making out you're doing them a massive favour regardless of how you really feel.

Stagshear · 03/04/2025 12:10

I’d run one along your side. They arent obligated to fix the fence because you don’t think it is smart enough

Original poster

Silosy · 03/04/2025 13:15

I know they’re not obliged to do anything. The fence is literally falling apart and as I said, is just knackered. And yes, it does look shit.

The last time their fence collapsed into our garden, breaking one of our pots and the shrub in it, they just pushed the panel back at an angle then disguised it from their side by tying a piece of trellis with fake ivy on it to hide it. So they clearly aren’t bothered about how it looks from our side and the fact they’ve previously claimed our tree is damaging their fence leads me to assume that they won’t replace it for that reason. My husband did mention to him when he pushed the panel back the last time that it might need replacing as it was crumbling around the edges and he agreed but I guess they don’t want to.

I don’t have a problem with offering to pay half and I think I’ll suggest that to them. There’s no animosity between us, we just don’t really see them as they live on a different street.

OP posts:

Original poster

Silosy · 03/04/2025 13:15

Oh, and once again, I can’t run a fence on our side as there isn’t space.

OP posts:

BlackSheepThisYear · 03/04/2025 13:52

We need a diagram!

ThatsCute · 03/04/2025 13:57

GasPanic · 03/04/2025 11:29

I would put up my own in front of theirs. Hopefully their old one will protect your new one from the worst of the ball bombardment.

This

NeuroSpicyMumof3 · 03/04/2025 14:04

Perhaps they really just can't afford to replace it?! Any animosity on their part may stem from being embarrassed about it.

tissueboxandcandles · 03/04/2025 14:10

Heavy duty chicken wire on sturdy metal posts like the council has between our gardens and their sports field. Run it along your side and leave their fence in place. I have various climbing plants along there and it looks fine.

regnovice · 03/04/2025 14:21

There are metal fence posts available now that are only marginally wider than a fence panel. Look at durapost. Would you have room for that?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 03/04/2025 15:27

Sneak out in the next storm when the wind is in the right direction and push it over ?🤔 Then offer to pay 50:50 for something sturdier?

orangedream · 03/04/2025 17:51

Some neighbours like to play a game of chicken with shared fences. They wait it out in the hope the other side will get sick of the broken fence first and pay for it.

Offer to pay half and see how they react. They'll probably claim the fence is fine but you can replace it 'if you like'.

Original poster

Silosy · 04/04/2025 09:00

orangedream · 03/04/2025 17:51

Some neighbours like to play a game of chicken with shared fences. They wait it out in the hope the other side will get sick of the broken fence first and pay for it.

Offer to pay half and see how they react. They'll probably claim the fence is fine but you can replace it 'if you like'.

Hmm. That’s a good point. I don’t really want to get into a situation where they expect us to share costs for ever. Maybe I’ll just sit on my hands for the summer and try to fix the bamboo screening up. It’s awkward as in one corner there is a boundary wall for another house and in the other corner is our tree so there’s not much to fix anything to, hence why we can’t put an additional fence in. There’s also a difference in ground height between the gardens which doesn’t help.

OP posts:

SocksPants · 04/04/2025 09:09

Are the fence posts ok?
If they are, surely the cost of replacing 2 fence panels can't be more than £60/£70 if you do it yourself.
Hardly seems worth falling out over.
Just offer to replace them.

Original poster

Silosy · 04/04/2025 09:29

The fence posts are fine. I’m not planning on falling out with them over it.

Of course I could just pay to do it myself but as it’s their fence I’m a bit reluctant to pay in case they think I’m going to pay forever. We’re also replacing a couple of panels on the fence the other side which is actually ours so it’s an additional cost I wasn’t sure about taking on hence asking on here in case anyone had any other suggestions I hadn’t thought of.

The other thing, as I said in my OP is that they let their grandkids kick balls against the fence and it would annoy me if they carried on doing that after I’d paid for a new fence! It’s not even gentle kicks either, it’s proper hoofing the ball full chat at the fence.

Based on responses to my OP I had originally planned to offer to go halves but I’m now reconsidering this and think it’ll be a watching brief.

OP posts:

Picklelily99 · 23/05/2025 23:19

Silosy · 03/04/2025 09:04

I’m not really sure what to do about this. A neighbour’s garden backs onto the side of ours meaning they have two fence panels between us. The fence panels are ancient and falling apart, partly because they let their grandchildren hoof footballs against it in the summer, but they don’t seem to want to replace them. The responsibility for the fence is theirs.

They claim their fence is broken because of a large tree we have in the corner of our garden against their boundary. This is not the case - the fence footings are secure and stable, it’s purely that the fence panels are knackered. A piece of their fence actually fell off into our garden the other day so I texted her to let her know and she replied that it was behind their shed so she couldn’t see it and that appeared to be the end of the conversation. I’m going to drop the broken bit back over later.

We get on ok with them though don’t really see them but they have griped about our tree in the past as she doesn’t like clearing up leaves and birds roosting. We’ve always maintained the tree so it’s not any more of a nuisance than possible but ultimately they’d probably like it felled which isn’t going to happen.

He has tried to repair the fence a few times but frankly it looks awful on our side and it comes out of the posts in every high wind. I think they are refusing to replace it out of passive-aggression because they know it looks much worse our side than theirs and they think we’re to blame.

So, I’m tempted to just bite the bullet and replace the fence ourselves but put the nice side on our side which I suspect will annoy her. The other issue is that if they continue to let the kids bang footballs against the fence we paid for, it will annoy me.

We’ve tried putting bamboo screening up but there’s not really anywhere secure to hold it in place.

Any suggestions?

You could ask your neighbour if they'd mind if you replaced the 2x broken fence panels? "Of course", you'd say, "as that would mean the fence panels were then OUR property, we wouldn't expect them to be damaged in any way, say with a football! And obviously, that would also mean that you'd have to ask OUR permission if you wanted to paint/treat your side, or hang anything, or attach anything to the fence panels!" See what their response is?

LoveWine123 · 24/05/2025 10:04

Picklelily99 · 23/05/2025 23:19

You could ask your neighbour if they'd mind if you replaced the 2x broken fence panels? "Of course", you'd say, "as that would mean the fence panels were then OUR property, we wouldn't expect them to be damaged in any way, say with a football! And obviously, that would also mean that you'd have to ask OUR permission if you wanted to paint/treat your side, or hang anything, or attach anything to the fence panels!" See what their response is?

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This sounds really passive aggressive. Why would they say yes?

WonderingWanda · 24/05/2025 10:18

How can there not be space for a fence on your side?

Picklelily99 · 24/05/2025 11:48

LoveWine123 · 24/05/2025 10:04

This sounds really passive aggressive. Why would they say yes?

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Not passive aggressive at all. Merely pointing out that, by law, if you replace the fence at your own cost, that fence becomes yours, and as such, it is against the law for your neighbour to do anything to that fence, even painting it, without your permission. You're not allowed to attach trellis, hammer nails in, anything, without getting permission first.

Mudflaps · 24/05/2025 12:05

Puzzled as to how there is no space for a new fence on your side, installing a new one that you pay for and maintain seems like the best solution. That way you can have whatever type, colour etc that you want, their broken old fence would hopefully protect yourself from the footballs. Maybe get a contractor to have a look at d see what is possible.

IthinkIamAnAlien · 24/05/2025 12:08

Sounds to me like the tree is the problem from their point of view and the footballs are a passive aggressive response, they probably encourage them!
People endlessly want trees cut down these days, we have a neighbour who hates our apple trees which are carefully pruned so they don't hang over her garden, these people don't bother to think about birds, pollinators or the planet, just their own selfish agenda.
I'd do whatever makes sense for you in terms of cost and appearance and ignore them.

KumquatHigh · 24/05/2025 12:19

Picklelily99 · 24/05/2025 11:48

Not passive aggressive at all. Merely pointing out that, by law, if you replace the fence at your own cost, that fence becomes yours, and as such, it is against the law for your neighbour to do anything to that fence, even painting it, without your permission. You're not allowed to attach trellis, hammer nails in, anything, without getting permission first.

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Is that a law? It doesn’t sound like a law. How can the fence just become yours because you replace a panel?