Relocating....again

[TwigletTwo]

I can't believe I'm writing this, but having relocated to our 'dream life in the country' move 5yrs ago, I have started to think perhaps we should move again (possibly back to where we started).
We moved during lockdown, albeit it had always been our plan to relocate to the countryside, to be near my husband's family, and to bring our children up in the country, have land etc. Lockdown sped the move up (not least because of remote working), and we have had another child since we moved here. Whilst in some ways it has a lot of the things we love, and I genuinely think our children have had a wonderful early childhood here, I feel like things are starting to change, and we might need to reconsider.
Our jobs are still mainly based in London, and I commute one day a week (3hrs each way) and work remotely the rest of the time, along with some domestic travel. If we were to move jobs in the same industries, it would be highly likely we'd need to be in the office a lot more (and still in London as our industries are based there).
Our school experience hasn't been great here - to the extent our eldest is in yr1, and will likely move to a private school for the next school year, with our youngest starting at the same in 2026, which is another reason why we're thinking of long term options. There are no local senior schools we'd consider, so would be committing to private school until 18 (unless things change significantly with local schools). We're also not near anywhere they could spend time as teenagers, and will need driving everywhere.
We are quite nearby for my husband's family, which has been lovely, and also occasionally helpful for childcare purposes, but more for emergencies than regular help. My husband's parents are quite elderly so we like being nearby (40 mins) for them, but his siblings are also quite local, so we don't feel like we need to be as local for his parents as we might otherwise be as they have support. My family however, are all between 3.5 and 5 hours away, so I don't get to see them very often at all, nor can they help with the children, or help them if they're poorly. My mum is 5hrs away and we only get to see her a couple of times a year, which I find very hard. Moving would put us 1.5hrs away, and doable in a day trip.
We have made friends down here, but I wouldn't say I've found my 'tribe' or a group of friends where I feel like I particularly fit in....a few people who I'm very close to and I hope will be lifelong friends, but most of them are 'transplants' from elsewhere too. My husband hasn't really found many friends, and has far fewer people to meet up with here than we did previously and I think we both feel lonelier here than we are used to. I'm naturally a very sociable person, so have worked very hard to make friends, and find it a bit disheartening that it still sometimes feels like I lack a good network here. We have a lot of weekend visitors, most of which are our friends from where we lived previously....which is lovely, but it would be nicer to have them nearby again.
Were we to move back to where we left in 2020, we'd look to try and keep the elements of the lifestyle that we enjoy here (lots of outdoor space, a relatively rural setting etc), but to be closer to decent schools, within an hour's commute of London, and closer to lots of friends and family.
It feels so bizarre to want to travel 'backwards' but we are acknowledging that life has changed quite a lot in the last few years - not least my work being much busier, and having started the school journey and realising what it is we are looking for for the children. We've also really felt the distance from good, long term friends, and what that means for day to day life.
The downsides to moving would be the fact that it would cost a lot more (moving back to a much more expensive area, without wanting to downsize too much), going back to the busy (commuting, traffic, general life) of commuterland, and missing our lovely open countryside, sunsets, and evenings on the beach that we get now. And quite frankly, starting all over again, again. The thought of it is a bit exhausting.
My husband I think will be quite reluctant to consider moving, as he loves our house/land, and likes being away from the hustle and bustle. He does however, miss having local friends, and access to London and airports. He currently drives to Heathrow once or twice a month and hates it.
I've not been able to voice this yet to friends and family....I feel like everyone is a little too invested in what it means for them (in the nicest way), as those here would prefer us to stay, and those back where we came from would rather we moved back!
So interested to hear thoughts and experiences.

Well it sounds like you need to move back to London! And not commuter belt. Scars your budget? In an ideal world you’d live somewhere like Richmond or Ham, where you could have the green spaces, river walks etc but freedom for your soon to be teenagers, easier travel to work and airport and plenty of social life.

And I forgot to add, excellent state schools!

It definitely wouldn't be back to London (where we also lived for a long time). I need access to fresh air and horses on a daily basis - as much as I adored living in London, I wouldn't want to live there, or bring children up there (nothing against people who do, it's just not for us, or my often barefoot and feral children!)

Schools are v important. A shorter commute is v important as it gives you more family time. I'd move in your shoes and be open on location to try and find something that would be a great compromise.
Could you test it out by renting somewhere? And perhaps take lots of mini weekend family breaks if moving back to somewhere less rural, so you can still spend a lot of time in the countryside? During the working week do you feel like you get the benefits of living in the countryside or mostly suffer from the disadvantages?
We moved from our dream location after COVID to be closer to family and just agreed we'd try to go back for day trips and weekends as much as we could. I'm not missing it and am very happy we made the move as it's made things easier.

Thanks for the response :)
Commuting would likely work out a similar amount of time over the course of a week, as I'll be in the office 2-3 days instead of 1-2, but it would be less strain, and it'll be better career-wise.
Benefits of the countryside during the week.....during the winter, no (it is quite hard going generally in the winter!). But having just spent my lunchbreak in the sunshine with my horses, I'd say yes I do get to enjoy it otherwise. But that could potentially still be something we look to have even if we move back, as we'd still try and have at least some land, even if not as much as we have now.
With regards to location - because the people are such a big part of why we'd move back (family and friends), I don't think we'd look at being in another location that's not either here (with my husband's family, and the friends we've made since we've moved), or there (nearer to my family, and friends we already have).

I wish we'd never moved to the country (goingmadinthe country was my name for many years, and I do go mad). Everything I enjoy - apart from the space - is city based. We had the benefit of good state grammar schools all of our four attended but my goodness, there was some driving around! Ten miles to school, nearest bus stop not safe to walk to (and well over a mile away - no path or verge and narrow roads). Scouts, sports, everything involved driving. On the plus side, all of the children passed their tests at 17! Youngest is in her final year at university now and dh are looking at downsizing - oldest is 31 - but he likes the country and I'm done with it! (I did grow up in small villages, just more arts based and want to be able to walk somewhere. Anywhere.)