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Where should my mum look to move?

13 replies

18monthapprehension · 24/03/2025 13:59

My parents are currently in the north east, where I grew up. My partner and I and our two kids (3 and nearly 2) are in SE London. We'd like to stay here long-term, though the classic secondary school issue may force our hand a bit - that's obviously a few years off, though. Regardless, I can't see us leaving the south east in general, and probably not even London specifically - we both love it here, work here, etc.

For various sad reasons my mum is looking ahead to a time where she'll be on her own, and would like to move closer to us. I'm wondering about places she should consider looking.

I imagine she'll have a budget of around £400k. Priorities - somewhere safe and relatively calm. Good public transport links - she does drive, but isn't the most confident in areas she doesn't know/ on very busy roads, and of course this may/ probably will change as she gets older. Some outdoor space - of course a garden would be the holy grail but a balcony or a communal garden would be ok too. And, of course, being within easy-ish reach of us. Given the scale of the move and the fact that she will be on her own it will also be important for there to be a good sense of community and things for her to do - she loves gardening, goes to dance and exercise classes, a creative writing group, things like that. She's a relatively fit and healthy 70 and of course I hope she'll be able to keep up those interests for years ahead.

She claims she would consider London itself. I'm a bit skeptical - she's lived in the countryside for the best part of 40 years so it would be a massive culture shock - but perhaps the right quiet neighbourhood? She did live in London for a decade and loved it - but that was back in the 1980s!

Her sister lives in Suffolk so somewhere between London and Suffolk might be good too, or the Kent/ Sussex/ Surrey direction that's more doable from where we are in London. If my partner and I do end up relocating within London itself I imagine we'd still be generally east.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
tropicalroses · 24/03/2025 15:00

Oxted, Limpsfield, Bletchingley,Westerham might be good. You can hop straight on the M25, if she wants to visit her sister, the money goes a bit further than in Sevenoaks and they are on the right side of London for you? Redhill has good train links and they are all quite pretty.

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 24/03/2025 15:33

My late-70s MIL is in the process of moving to south east London (from countryside) to be nearer to us, lots going on locally, great public transport, near hospitals etc. She is downsizing a lot in property size but that’s an advantage at this point

SoloSofa24 · 24/03/2025 15:42

I can't see why she shouldn't move to London itself. London actually makes a lot of sense for older people: free and very good public transport, so no need to drive; a huge amount to do - culture, voluntary work etc, through which she could get to know new people; lots of good hospitals if needed; plenty of green space if you pick the right area, and easy to hop on a train out into the countryside or for other day trips.

Moving to the countryside near London might be the worst of both worlds, in terms of high property prices but worse transport and access to facilities, in addition to leaving all her friends and current support network behind but still not being that close to you.

I am in my late 50s and have just moved back to London after 30 years, but I also know two sets of parents of my contemporaries who moved to London to be near their DCs and grandchildren in their 70s and 80s.

Is there an area near you with a bit of green space, good transport links, a high street with shops, cafe and library? I would get your mother to have a look around a few potential areas before dismissing the idea. £400k is a decent budget for a one or two bedroom flat in some nice parts of SE London.

timestressed · 24/03/2025 15:49

She should move to London with good transport, esp public, connection to you and her sister. She should get something decent for that amount. You didn't say where you are at present so hard to sugfest anything.

Crikeyalmighty · 24/03/2025 15:55

Here’s my suggestions OP- personally if I was her I would go for a flat in Wimbledon -great connections, lots on doorstep, plenty of life and lovely Wimbledon village for a lot of greenery and a bit of ‘nice’

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/158215883

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/157910366#/?channel=RES_BU

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/157607477#/?channel=RES_BUY
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/152153216#/?channel=RES_BUY

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/158955395#/?channel=RES_BUY

18monthapprehension · 24/03/2025 15:59

Thanks for these. Some lovely pretty recs @tropicalroses and a good point re London, everyone else. You're right, I think, that there's a risk of worst of both worlds if she ends up in a sort of commuter town rather than London itself. I've been having a look at areas like Blackheath/Lee and then further down towards Bromley. Wimbledon is beautiful @Crikeyalmighty and actually nearer to where she lived in the 80s but a long way from where I live now!

OP posts:
18monthapprehension · 24/03/2025 16:00

@Crikeyalmighty She'd definitely be keen on the pool in Sevenoaks, mind!

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 24/03/2025 16:15

I live in North Herts. It’s 25 mins to Kings Cross or St Pancras on the direct train services. The budget would work.

Gekko21 · 24/03/2025 16:16

How cool is that she's open to moving to London? Our neighbours (also SE London) sold their family home a couple of years back and moved into a flat round the corner. They also still love London and have their children / grandchildren here. They've got loads of time to go up into town and do all the things most of us in our 40s and 50s don't have the energy to do, despite it being only up the road! As others have said, you don't need a car and everything you want can be within a 15 minute walk (or often less). My suggestion would be anywhere near a big park. I love Beckenham Place Park and Beckenham High Street has everything you need. There are also other green spaces close by and it's easy to get out into the countryside still. Loads of train stations, plus the tram and buses in this location.

FromTheFirstOldFashionedWeWereCursed · 24/03/2025 16:19

We lived in very central London for a while in our late 20s, (so central that when our loo broke we just used the ones at St Pancras) and there were lots of older people in our mansion block - why wouldn't you want to live there as an older person? Everything's walkable, public transport is as good as it gets, world-class hospitals on your doorstep, black cabs passing on your street every 5 minutes, nearby green space if you pick the right place.

DH and I moved to zone 5 before my son was born and we now have a house with a garden between Richmond and Bushy Parks, but we plan to head back into zone 1 once our kids leave home (they're currently 5 and 10, it'll take a while).

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