Cheltenham - will I find my tribe?

[singletonatlarge]

I am thinking of moving from Bristol to Cheltenham, for a change of scene and better access to the Cotswolds and Birmingham. My question is whether I, as a slightly scruffy single woman in my 50s, will be able to find like-minded people. Where I currently live there are loads of scruffy single women in their 50s and 60s stomping around walking their dogs, singing in choirs, doing volunteer work and chatting to each other. I'm a bit concerned that Cheltenham may be rather more genteel and couple-oriented. Any thoughts? It's really important to me to be somewhere where I can make friends and acquaintances. I realise that Stroud is probably more my vibe, but it would be a lot more difficult transport-wise, as I want to be close to the Bristol-Birmingham trainline.

Are there poor people in bath and Cheltenham ?

What? Of course there are!

I started my family in Cheltenham. It was alright purely because I had some community. But we moved to Gloucester and it was a million times better. A bit more down to earth and a little more diverse. Still has the train and road connections. Friendlier.

@LaceWingMother Just seems a different world tbh.

We were Fiddlers Green by Princess Elizabeth Way. Another place to avoid is PE Way and Coronation Square.

What’s wrong with it. Just looks like bog standard social housing. 10 a penny in most places.

They aren't no-go in the sense you'll get stabbed - more likely to get spat at by gangs of teenagers busy throwing stones at passing busses though.

What is slightly scruffy and why do so many seem to wear it as a badge of honour?

@glittercunt That's interesting, thanks! I am considering Gloucester too and would like the down-to-earth feel.

@Overtheatlantic I can only speak for myself but "slightly scruffy" = don't wear make up, look my age, never wear heels, often to be seen wearing a dog-walking coat and a cycling hi-viz, have been known to go round Aldi in my wellies. Not a badge of pride, just a shorthand! In Bristol most people I know fit this description, but I am aware from MN that this is not universal and I'd hate to end up somewhere where I felt like the only one.

another recommendation for Worcestershire, lots going on for all ages in Worcester.

Lived in or near Cheltenham all my life. Of course, you'll certainly find your tribe. There are lots of different people here. Other than the odd special occasion, I live in jeans, tracksuit bottoms, leggins and mostly wear trainers. I don't wear makeup and have my hair cut twice a year. Despite this, I'm very lucky to have eight life long friends (at least I hope they are, the least I've known one is 15 years). Two came here from other countries, six went to uni (I didn't). One goes to two local choirs, another to one of those. I have a doggie friend, used to walk with her a lot but not so easy with working hours. She takes her dogs to two dog training/obstacle type classes and so many local people go out late afternoon, she ends up meeting her 'doggie' friends in the park - you have to laugh there's usually a group of 4-10 people talking while throwing the ball for their dogs. If I go out walking with her up the hill, I often see others with friends.

I totally disagree Cheltenham isn't friendly. I have a high contact job and also come across quite a few people who I pass the time of day with outside work. Others have mentioned, I'd say 15% children at our local school do not identify as white. Not sure what percentage are part of the LBGT community, but workplaces do try and address this and I'm certainly not aware of any problems in my two jobs.

I would say, if budget/accommodation permit, I would choose Cheltenham over Gloucester every time. There's a lot more to offer in the immediate Cheltenham area (and of course you're surrounded by hills) and also it feels a lot safer. If you look at Gloucester, do take your time to walk around the city centre at different times of the day (maybe not too late though, I'd feel a lot safer in Cheltenham late at night).

Like everywhere Cheltenham does have it's less than ideal areas. If you have to consider social housing or nearby, I'd avoid Whaddon/Princess Way and roads just off and Manser Street and surrounding streets in St Pauls, they're a big no.

Not sure how often you'd be getting the train, but the D bus is one of the more regularly routes and operates late at night (some don't), so you might want to consider other areas on that route, Hatherley, near Pittville Park and there's a lot going on in Bishops Cleeve for all ages.

@Sunnyside4 yep - it's the same here in Bath- I've got no idea why people think these kind of places haven't got a mix ( big social housing estates etc) and are just full of Tabitha's and Dominic's- or elder versions of them - same with friendliness too , many years ago I lived with a partner in Wolverhampton (his town) - I've found Bath way more friendly and far less aggressive.

Reading this makes me want to move to Cheltenham, and I’ve never even been! I bloody love white middle class areas, thats my aspirational zone. I did visit Stroud though, which is also white middle class very dowdy though but I read the scruffiness there as ‘ quietly depressed by so much virtue signalling’.

Stroud would be better!

@BarneyRonson at least you are honest !! it's why when people go on about somewhere being 'not very diverse' - it annoys me - because to me the implication is it's usually about ethnicity. diversity to me isn't just about colour, it's about age mix, it's about having students, kids, well off and not so well off and in the middle - Stroud is an interesting one- we've been a few times as easy for us- Like Frome it has that 'alternative ' feel and a bit shabby chic - but I must admit the constant smell of weed on the days we have been did get to me - nice indoor food market though and great outdoor one too .

I was born in Cheltenham then moved to Stroud and back to Cheltenham when I was older. I personally wouldn't go back to Cheltenham again. I'd probably consider Stroud if I was keen to move out of a city (which I'm not).

It’s a lovely place! Plenty of societies and culture. Wine bars are fun and plenty of scope to make new friends. Some of the architecture is beautiful and elegant, but welcoming.

One thing Gloucester has in its favour IMO is the Gloucester Docks/Quays part of the city, with lots of places to eat, drink and shop in a nice waterfront setting. Cheltenham doesn't really have anything like that, being devoid of any decent body of water (you can't really count the pathetic Chelt as a body of water). That said, if you did opt to live in Cheltenham there are excellent bus links between the two.

It will seem very boring after Bristol. I find it quite square and conservative. I agree that Stroud has a better vibe, but it is harder to get to Bristol unless you drive.

If you are on Facebook, look up Gloucestershire women's adventure group. You should be able to find some like minded people on there. I think Cheltenham is like any other place re couples/ singles. You won't find it any more 'poor' than Bristol. It is big enough to find like minded people.

Montpellier and The Brewery immediately come to mind for choice of eating. Regents Street is great for cafes and has some good casual daytime eating.

Try Montpellier area, loads of nice restaurants /wine bars/cocktail bars.