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Original poster

Just moved to a new home and missing the old one, is this normal?

25 replies

Croissantsfordinner · 10/02/2025 08:57

We have just bough our first home after many years of renting, we lived in our previous flat for 5 years, we had our DS there and was a lovely little home in a great location. Although it served us very well, we felt ready to finally buy our first place and have moved in the new home a week ago. I like the new home in terms of style, much prettier and we are making it beautiful (for us) as we are finally free to decorate to our taste, paint the walls etc, plus we now have a garden as it's a ground floor maisonette. Despite all this, I can't help but feeling a bit unsettled and sad for what we have left behind. Location was so much better (we are still in the same area but further out and on a busier road) and although we didn't have a garden, being on the 4th floor in a block of flat felt "safer" than being on the ground floor. DS also says he misses the old home, although he is only 4 and it's a big change for him so that's undertsandable.
I just want to check if this is normal, I have been planning to buy a place for the past decade and am spending so much time and energy making it beautiful and feel weird and ungrateful to feel this way now that I have it.

OP posts:

NoctuaAthene · 10/02/2025 11:48

It's completely normal to feel this way, don't worry. Every single time I've moved home I've felt like I hate the new house and want to go back to the old one/like we've made a huge mistake, even when objectively speaking the new house is better in every way than the old one. I usually cry on the first day or within the first 48 hours, usually over something trivial like curtains, and I am really not usually a crier at all.

I think it's just your brain adjusting to the lack of familiarity plus of course the huge amount of money and responsibility of buying a new place. The same thing happens to me with holidays, especially 'big'/expensive holidays, I always end up feeling like I don't want to go and just want to stay at home, but end up having a great time when I'm there. Just give it a bit of time and you'll feel more and more settled.

Original poster

Croissantsfordinner · 10/02/2025 12:16

@NoctuaAthene thanks so much for this reply!

OP posts:

Lurkingandlearning · 10/02/2025 12:19

I ve felt the same but it passed. I think it’s normal ( I would say that, wouldn’t I 😬)

Your flat, even though you didn’t own it, was your home so it belonged to you in that sense and you felt you belonged there. Maybe it’s just that feeling of belonging that hasn’t developed yet.

LaundryPond · 10/02/2025 12:19

Completely normal. Horrific buyer’s remorse is practically as much a part of the buying process as saving a deposit and getting the keys!

Don’t panic. Just ride it out.

scandalo · 10/02/2025 12:23

I felt grief stricken when I left my flat and moved into my house. I was shocked as day to day I'm not a very emotional person, and quite practical and pragmatic. But that flat held so many memories. It does pass and you will
be fine but because I know how you're feeling.

Snowmanscarf · 10/02/2025 12:30

It’s normal to feel discombobulated. Your old place was. ‘Home’ and this is just ‘a house’ at the moment. Once you settle in, redecorate, make it yours, etc, you’ll feel better.

Sunnyside4 · 10/02/2025 14:58

We moved ten years ago, even now we both feel we could just walk into our old home and live there (although it's sold twice since and looks totally different). We had great neighbours (still visit one and we have eachothers keys which doesn't help). We moved for investment and more space and do use every room (but one as DD now moved out), but could easily live somewhere smaller.

However, I think once you start doing things to your new home, that'll help, if not some decoration for now.

ginasevern · 10/02/2025 15:02

Oh gosh yes. I cried buckets after I left a rather unprepossessing rented house that I'd lived in for 5 years. I felt so upset and unsettled for quite some time. It's one of life's biggest events and only natural.

RabbitsRock · 10/02/2025 15:10

Absolutely normal OP. Our last house was DD’s first home (apart from the foster carer’s house) so we had loads of memories. I cried when we left & DD, who was nearly 9 when we moved, kept saying for ages that she hated our new place. We all fell in love with it very quickly though & I am so much happier here, despite it being much smaller & on a fairly busy road.

hexagon01 · 10/02/2025 16:21

Yes I have felt this for each house I've bought (on my third and hopefully final one now!). I moved into my most recent one last year, we loved our old house but it was just too small for us. Interestingly a couple of weeks after we moved I had to go back to the old house for some reason, and it was seeing someone else's stuff in it that really snapped me out of it and made my brain really understand that it wasn't my house any more. It still took a good while before the new house felt like home but I love it now.

RubyRedBow · 10/02/2025 16:29

I was home sick like you wouldn’t believe when I moved last year. I had moved into my dream home but I hated being here which I knew was silly. It’s passed within a few weeks and I’m very happy here.

Original poster

Croissantsfordinner · 10/02/2025 16:46

Thanks all for the lovely replies!

OP posts:

user1471538283 · 10/02/2025 17:11

When I moved into my first and favourite house I used to have dreams that I had moved back into our social housing house. I think it was the responsibility of a mortgage that got to me and as much as I yearnt for privacy in the old house I felt I had too much in the new one. But from the very first viewing I knew it was for me.

But once things had settled down I was so happy there.

tsmainsqueeze · 10/02/2025 17:27

I moved into a beautiful new house after 15 years in our cosy but too small house , i missed my 'home' for well over a year ,it's been 14 years and i am very happy in my home but i still have random dreams about my old house where everything is how it was when we lived there, it sounds nuts but i get comfort from these dreams.
I miss my lovely neighbours and only moved because of our 3rd child , i think its completely normal to have mixed feelings about a new house.

Bluevelvetsofa · 10/02/2025 18:14

We’ve moved often and I’ve almost always missed the old house. One house wasn’t one I wanted in the first place and I still missed when we moved.

We moved in November and downsized. The house is lovely, but there are things I’m missing and it’s not quite ‘home’ yet.

Starlight7080 · 10/02/2025 18:16

Yes. I have always gotten weirdly homesick. After a few days when things start to settle it faded away

NattyBeaker · 11/02/2025 09:40

Also feel the same. Didn't really love the house and probably shouldn't have gone through with it... but before I knew it was too late land we desperately needed space. I plan to overpay and save and give it 12 months. If I don't like it I can move if it even goes up a little in value and interest rates come down.
That's if dh doesn't divorce me over it first.

GoldMoon · 11/02/2025 09:45

Your old place was home , it was your safe place , your comfort , your peace from the world etc .
Your new house will soon become all those things and the added bonus will be it belongs to you as well . Congratulations .

SlB09 · 11/02/2025 09:53

Yes!! Like homesickness/grief. Our last house was full of firsts, first house, marriage, child etc and it really felt the right time when we did move but my god it was a wrench. It took a good 18m to feel settled tbh and even now nearly four years later I still think very fondly of that street, our neighbours etc it was an old fashioned everyone looks after each other street. However our house does feel like 'home' now and started to once we got going with making it ours. Still not convinced it's literally forever home though!

GreatGardenstuff · 11/02/2025 11:49

It’s completely normal, you’ve changed your habitat and that’s a lot to process and get used to. It takes time to settle and build the new routines that make it feel like you belong there. Give yourself some grace 💐

paddlinglikecrazy · 11/02/2025 12:30

yes, we left our first home we bought together & had both our DC there, lived for over a decade there and were very happy. Moved to a bigger house with a bigger garden but location not quite as good. Missed our old place for a while afterwards. My youngest was 6 when we moved here and he missed it terribly at first.
Roll on 5 years and all of us love it and wouldn’t want to move back. We did the right thing, put our own stamp on it and won’t leave here now.

Gekko21 · 11/02/2025 12:35

I'm also just reinforcing the 'completely normal' comments. It took us about a year to feel settled when we bought our current house. We needed to adapt to being in a new area with a new commute and the need to make new friends. We had a load of second hand furniture that was horrible and things in the house kept breaking e.g. boiler, washing machine.

We threw ourselves into local activities to make friends and got some boring jobs out of the way. We started to replace some of the inherited items with things we actually liked and took a paintbrush to the walls. Over time, it felt more like home. We are about to do exactly the same thing, except this time without second hand furniture! We are moving 250 miles away to a house that is currently very bland and needs some personality injecting. This is a normal process of moving and one you'll probably undertake a few times. It does get better so hang on in there.

Literallynoonecares · 11/02/2025 12:38

I feel for you. Its a weird feeling isn't it? Kind of like you don't 'belong' in your new house. I have felt like this too and its definitely normal. When you leave somewhere that you have enjoyed living and it has so many memories its only natural to feel a bit out of sorts when you move into a new home. It will take a little time but you will settle, I promise. The more time you are there and the more memories you begin to make the happier, more settled and more comfortable you will feel, both you and your DS.

Put your own stamp on it, make it your own and you will soon love it so much that you won't be able to imagine living anywhere else.

OldTinHat · 11/02/2025 12:45

Perfectly normal, don't worry.

I lived in my last house for 20yrs. I've been where I am currently for 6yrs. But whenever I have dreams, it's always my last house that I'm 'in'.

But congratulations on owning your own home! That's just fantastic!

MamaBear4ever · 13/02/2025 12:58

It's not yours home yet, its a house you are making into your home. It takes time to become a home

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