Hello,
I'm a single woman in my mid 40s. I've been in a long process of trying to move out of London that has been very stressful. I sold my flat two years ago and have been staying with family since. This time last year I put in an offer on a house I loved near a friend who is dear to me in a new city, but it fell through in October causing quite a mental health breakdown for me.
In November I started seeing a woman who came back into my life (but under complicated circumstances). This rather influenced me to be impulsive and buy somewhere nearer to where she lives in a small town commutable to London - say 30 mins away from her, rather an the hour away where I was looking before. I knew this was a bit of a risk given the early days of our relationship - but was also finding it hard to move further away from her.
Anyway - I'm completing on this property today, and the relation has turned into more of a casual thing - that I know isn't really going anywhere. We care for each other deeply and are very attracted to one another, but our personalities really aren't suited. She's also going through a divorce and is coming out.
I decided to go ahead with the purchase anyway, as I need to move out of my parents' home - it's become very stressful, and I need my own space. But I'm feeling quite sad today on completion day. I had been single for so long and was hoping this was the start of something new in my life. I'm worried it will be harder to meet women in this commuter town where I am moving, rather than the university city where I was headed, even though I had very mixed feelings about the city because of the dominance of the uni. I feel sad not to be moving close to my good friend, and a bit nervous about my new life.
I'm going to be brave, but feel like a bit of a fool for making a major life decision whilst wrapped up in the early days of a whirlwind affair. My friends think I just need to move though anyway as I'd become stuck and after the set back of the sale falling through, just need to go somewhere. I hate being single at my age though, and loneliness is a big thing for me.
Just here for support really. The place I'm buying is in a peaceful location, but does require some work. I need my own sanctuary really.
The emotions are of loss and grief at the moment when I should be excited about starting the next chapter in my new life. I'm trying to be kind to myself as it's been a long stressful journey to get to this point.