Potential separation - what happens with house?

[jamjarofhearts]

NC for this..

Things aren't good with partner. I am really hoping it doesn't come to it, but..

Where would I stand in terms of our house? Joint mortgage, neither of us in a position to buy each other out. 3yo daughter. If I kick him out (which is what will potentially happen) can he legally fight leaving? I don't think he would to be fair.. but if I were to make the mortgage payments solely, would that be allowed? Ideally if he contributed towards child maintenance that would be a huge help, as I'm not sure how I'd afford everything!! But potentially I say to him, instead of maintenance payments I just stay in and pay for the house?
I don't know how things work - we aren't married. I don't want to sell, this is my daughter's home and we wouldn't find anywhere cheaper anyway, prices are crazy in this area and renting is impossible to find.
Ideally I get to a point in 5-10 years where I save and buy him out maybe. What would I give him then, half of the equity?
Sorry, brain is scrambled and not sure what is possible! We have just remortgaged for another 5 years. 25 years left (!!) This in my eyes is our forever home.

In a situation like this it sounds like you'd need to sell the house, pay back the mortgage and split any profit (if there is any). You probably need to get out of the mindset that this is your forever home. Your daughter is still very little, could you rent or buy a smaller place.

If he's still on the current mortgage it's unlikely he'd be able to get a second mortgage (for himself), higher stamp duty for second home and it means you are financially tied together for the next 10 years. You've said yourself he won't be fair. Also what would be the situation with custody - would it be a 50/50 split re access? If so then he won't need to pay child maintenance.

Op, I’m not sure it works like that.

he wouldn’t be able to get another mortgage,
he owns half the house so has the same rights as you to live in it
what happens if he stops paying maintenance or looses his job or moves and you hear nothing, how will you pay then?

you seem to be basing it all on what you want, you want the house so you kick him out and keep it.

its his house too! He can walk right back in the door and legally you can’t stop him.

you could agree to buy him out as long as you can get a mortgage yrself, otherwise its more likely house needs to be sold. You can agree that you stay and sell in 5-20 yrs whatever, but you both would need legal advice and you would need yr own mortgage, and what happens if house price reduces…

in married couples who separate/ divorce, often houses are sold and you may get a great percentage if you earned less, you don’t even have the legal safety of that.

Can you borrow money to buy him out? You really need to split completely.

If neither of you can afford to buy the other out then you need to sell the house and split the equity.

Do you earn enough to get a mortgage on your own ? If not, you might have to consider renting.

If he’s unlikely to be fair, he’s not going to agree to wait 5 years to buy his own property. (He wouldn’t get a mortgage if he’s on your current home)

He owes child maintenance. If CM is more than the mortgage then he might agree to pay the mortgage instead but you’d have to check the CM figure on a CM calculator. If he wants 50/50 custody then you’d get zero child maintenance so it might not be a legitimate bargaining chip.

Yes you will need to sell the house if you can't afford to buy him out splitting the proceeds in half. And then each get new homes and mortgages or rent on your own. Though when I got divorced I paid my XH for his 50 percent in two goes. At the time of divorce I took out an additional mortgage to give my XH a deposit and he then had a 20 percent charge on the property which I paid out to him when the kids left school. The only way I could do that was to sell the house at that point. My XH didn't have any obligation to do that - but he wanted to keep our kids in the house (as he felt guilty for what he'd done).

You will also need to work out how to divide the care of your child. If its 50:50 then you would not be entitled to any child maintenance. It is proportionate to the amount of time the child is with you. You won't be entitled to any other kind of maintenance so if you split up you will need to support yourself.

Thankyou all. To clarify -
The reason I am potentially going to have to ask him to leave is because he has issues which I don't want to go into, but that are serious enough that he will need to leave if things aren't rectified..he will not be able to stay and be in the same house as us, I can't really say anymore as it's too outing. So yes, it's his house too etc, but there are valid reasons why he won't be there if things happen in the worst way that I am foreseeing (sorry I appreciate that's cryptic!)

Sorry, I don't think I wrote the first post right.. he would be fair, I know this. I'm not worried about that. He would not get another mortgage. He has family he would live with. His wage wouldn't allow for another mortgage. He would not get one based on a few factors. My wage will JUST about cover our current one but I definitely wouldn't qualify for a mortgage on my own sadly. That would be the ideal but it won't happen the numbers just don't add up.
I know forever homes can change, I didn't mean I wasn't considering moving .. but I can't. I can't get a mortgage on a new property based just on my wage. There is nothing in the area that I could afford, not even close. I can't rent as there is nothing around. At all. I have friends who have waited years for a property to become available, they are like gold dust. Some are still waiting. Rent would also be more than my mortgage so unaffordable. Other than becoming homeless .. I am in a tricky spot really. I guess my option is to ask and beg family to see if they can support me in buying him out. Could I draw up a legal contract to do this gradually? I don't know how this works. I don't know if legally, the fact my daughter needs a roof over her head counts in terms of trying to stay in the house. It's all v stressful.

In terms of child maintenance, depending on what happens he is either going to stay with having her for two days a week, no overnights, or no days at all, it depends on the outcome we are waiting on.. can't say too much more.
If it does work out to two days a week, I have roughly worked out what he would owe. It is fairly low to be honest, not a scratch on the mortgage payment sadly.

Re your daughter needing to be housed, you are thinking of marriage rights, you don’t have that.

you currently have equal rights to the home
you are really not thinking long term, appreciate you have your own situation but while he is on the mortgage it’s his home to come and go.
of course, he could give you his half, but he needs to come off the mortgage/deeds. Otherwise legally it’s his home.

you can agree repayment terms via a solicitor

unless he is going to serve time or leave the country, again you may not get to dictate contact, legally he can request 50/50 (again legal issues aside),

you know ur situation but you also seem to want what you want regardless of advice.

But he owns a portion of the house - he has a right to it.
You can't assume that he will just live with family - he/they might not want to. He might want to move away, or need to move in the next 5-10 years, start a new relationship etc.
The house will have to be sold if neither of you can afford to buy the other out.

He does own half of the house and is entitled to half of it. If you want to keep it you would have to buy him out so his name comes off the deeds and then continue to pay the mortgage on your own. He would not contribute to that at all - only maintenance for your children if he's working and proportionate to the days he gas them - so you would get 5/7ths if he gas them 2 days a week.