How to ‘project manage’ bathroom and kitchen refit for someone else?

[Blue278]

My dad is in his 80s. Absolutely physically and mentally in top form but is very reserved and hates company.
He lives a couple of hours away in a nice flat. I have siblings who live 3-4 hours away.
Dad badly needs to update his 1970s bathroom and 1980s kitchen. Not just cosmetic. Some things don’t work.
He’s been planning the work for years but is never going to actually deal with the trades and the hassle of being home while it’s going on.
We have offered to oversee the work while he goes away for a couple of weeks and he’s happy with that. He has strong opinions on what he wants but can take weeks to decide on options and there are lots of options! e.g He can spend hours comparing appliances and going to view all the options.
We need to find a tradesperson where he lives and probably be there for the quotes. Then help (force) dad to make all the decisions. Then move in while the work is going on.
Anyone done anything like this? Not sure where to start. He doesn’t know anyone locally for recommendations and I don’t trust those checkatrade type sites any more.
Thinking of September so plenty of time. He has plenty of money so that’s not an issue.
Need a plan of action!

I'd do a couple of visits just to plan and discuss. One project at a time, maybe bathroom first then kitchen. Bathroom has less choiand is probably easier. I'd take 2 or 3 paper catalogs from a suitable bathroom shop to pick things, then get some tradesmen in to quote.

For kitchen, can you take him to a showroom and hope that a nice salesperson convinces him to go with their company and their fitters etc. that should cut down the options.

We sent our elderly parents away for a week while they had their kitchen redone .
We took them to Howdens , B&Q and IKEA. They Chose Howdens because the units were ready made, we only had a week to get it done and the units seemed solid . We had a local kitchen fitter to do it . Tiles were from B&Q , sink and worktops B&Q .
We were very lucky with the gutter because he did everything, plumbing, tiling, carpentry, there was no plastering or electrical work ,we were lucky . They came home to a new functional kitchen and a spotless house, l cleaned the house from top to bottom because the dust got everywhere despite doors shut and sheets up . My advice is to go by word of mouth recommendation, get a fitter in who can either do it all himself or knows who can and will get them in to help . It's a lot of work just sorting it out before you start , good luck OP.

Before you get trades people go and measure kitchen and then make a kitchen plan. Select the kitchen unit company you think appropriate- Ikea is flat pack, howdens isnt.
and get the layout done.
with as much input from your dad as you both want.

take him to the show room to select the door front colour.
and handles .

based on these choices then choose 3/4 options for work tops
and back splash and floor material.
Get samples for these, and put price on back of each of them .

choose sink, tap and light fittings and socket plates.
give him 2//3 options for each of these.

Only show him options that you think are harmonious.
you want the kitchen to look good, for him to like it, but for it to also be in decent saleable condition when the time comesz

ask him what is the key functions etc for each appliance and then show him suitable options on AO.com or John Lewis or the appliance shop you think is suitable .
take time to print out the spec for each and the prices etc .
so he can decide.

Do all of this before getting the builder/kitchen fitter to visit .
they will be able to give you the most accurate quote when they know what they are fitting.
they will also know that the job will
e smooth running if they can see that all elements have been considered and they won’t be chasing for information or choices or lead times.

Join a Facebook group for where he lives and search posts / ask for recommendations for local tradies, then look into anyone who was recommended by lots of people, that's how I find people to use these days.

Agree with what other posters have said.

You could use local Facebook groups to where he is and ask for recommendations - arrange to be there the same time as the contractor.
As the bathroom/kitchen are 40/50 years old, chances are that underlying work will need doing. What’s the heating like? When was it last re-wired? Might as well get all the work done in one hit and he doesn’t (or you and siblings) don’t have to worry about this again….

Amazing advice. Thank you all. Yes I think lots and lots of prep and hope that we can just pay a bit extra to get everything from one place.
Feels like the success will be dependent on getting the right tradesperson so am going to concentrate on that. Dad gets so frozen by decision making but am sure we can chose things that anyone would like and will be such a massive improvement on the current stuff he won’t fret about the details.
Facebook is a shout. I wish he had joined the apartment complex WhatsApp but he’s just not sociable.
I have taken note of all this advice so thanks so much for your input.