Buying a house with my only DC - mad idea?

[Flybbergybe]

Now living on my own with DC (21) following very recent divorce. We're renting a nice house but I don't want to do this long term and only have enough money from the equity of my previous house to buy a 1-bed flat outright which is no good for us.

Would it be a mad idea to try to buy a small 2-bed house with DC given their age? Their income is 24k p.a; mine is around 10k although I'm trying to earn more and probably will in a few more months. I'm 62 and have been out of work for a while due to various issues.

It's unlikely DC will be in a position to buy a property on their own for a long long time, and it might be a good investment anyway. Ultimately they will inherit everything anyway as they're my only child.

Has anyone bought a house with their DC - and if so, was it a good idea in retrospect or a disaster? I'd be interested to hear people's opinions. Obviously I'm aware of all the potential issues such as one/both of us meeting someone at some point in the future that we want to live with! Thanks.

@Flybbergybe The main issue is probably the one you've highlighted.

What would happen if / when your son, possibly within the next 10 years, wants to buy a place with his partner?

It's unlikely he could afford to buy you out, and it is likely he would want the equity contained in your jointly owned house to use as a deposit.

Tax breaks change but he would miss out on any first time buyers discounts that might be around at the time, for example stamp-duty discount for first time buyers or option to grow a LISA to save for a deposit, as they are only available to first time buyers.

It seems as he is the higher earner, his salary is what is making this possible, but does that mean he would have the greater percentage share in the property? I think you should take legal advice, and think seriously about the long term complications of this arrangement before going down that route.

I can see the appeal, but I think it would benefit you more than your son, but long term you could find yourself homeless.

Makes perfect sense to me, I’d do it as long as dc was happy to.

@nowisthelasttime Some very good points - thanks very much.

I have a similar aged son and in similar situation this has crossed my mind.

But I think on balance no. He is so young, he will likely meet someone in the not too distant future and what then?

He will want to move on with his life, and that means you are homeless. I think it would cause huge issues potentially in your relationship

Another factor to consider: paying for care costs

I can see why this might seem an attractive proposal but I would be very wary.

There was a thread recently where the child's income had been used to stretch the buying power of the parents, with the intent to co-habit together.

Circumstances had changed and the child needed to extract the money to move forward with their own lives and from what I remember from the post, the family relationships were imploding with irrevocable damage.

I don't think any inter-family arrangement is worth this risk.

I’m assuming you’d have a mortgage on the property-who’d pay that? As others have said, that could be an issue when your DS meets someone and wants to buy with them as he probably couldn’t afford two mortgages.

Someone in my family did buy a property with their parent and it worked out. But they were a high earner so only needed a small mortgage that was paid off in a few years. It didn’t affect anything when they met their now-spouse.

That’s what you need to consider-how will this decision affect your DS in say 10 years?

Disaster waiting to happen great for you but terrible deal for them
there young they might want to /need to move area
what happens if they meet someone and want to buy
what if you need care and your % is used to pay for it

Have a think about buying a one bedroomed property and converting the living room into a bedroom or bed-sitting room. There are tons and tons of good ideas of how to do this on facebook/youtube/instagram.

I bought my ex out of the 4 bedroomed family home and within 12 months all 3 children had left home!

Use your money to buy a flat that you rent out? And pay your own share of the rent either way the income?
And then move into it once your Ds saves for his own place.
Presumably your Ds shares the cost of your current rent?

Thank you everyone for your comments. I have some very serious thinking to do and totally understand the potential pitfalls. The last thing in the world that I would want is to fall out with my DC due to money.

@OnceMoreWithAttitude

"Use your money to buy a flat that you rent out? And pay your own share of the rent either way the income?"
Yes, I have considered this but at the moment don't earn enough to be able to pay the service charges on a flat plus rent/bills on my current house. Definitely something to think about in the future though.

"And then move into it once your Ds saves for his own place.
Presumably your Ds shares the cost of your current rent? "

• He does contribute, yes, but I think I'll need to ask him for a bit more.

@VanCleefArpels "Another factor to consider: paying for care costs". I hadn't thought about that because I'm a fit, heathy 62 year old. I know though that things can change overnight.

@BruFord "I’m assuming you’d have a mortgage on the property-who’d pay that? As others have said, that could be an issue when your DS meets someone and wants to buy with them as he probably couldn’t afford two mortgages."

Good point, although we wouldn't need a big mortgage - ca. 50K as I've got a good deposit. I'm starting to think a small flat is the way to go with just me on the deeds :). DC works from home though and a 1-bed place simply wouldn't be feasible.

I bought with my mum - she was mortgage free and it enabled me to borrow against two salaries. I then bought a two bed and got a lodger in. I had to go interest only because her age made a long repayment term impossible, but as soon as I was earning a bit more and could afford the mortgage on my own (if needed) we took her off the deed and remortgaged in my name only. It worked brilliantly for us, but only because she already had a home and security, and my salary increased relatively quickly over the next few years.

I think you should buy a small 2 bed with a mortgage

Your child can pay rent

I don’t think it’s a good idea for the reasons you have stated.

I would advise against. When I was dating my husband in our mid to late twenties his mum was trying to push him to carry on with a vaguely formed plan to buy with his brother, also in his mid twenties. I had to to have a chat with him much sooner than I would’ve otherwise regarding us buying or renting together because I didn’t want to be stuck unable to progress the relationship because he was living with and tied to his brother long term.

Many people in the early stages of their career wind up needing or wanting to relocate as they lost their job, want promotion which means moving elsewhere or want to move in with a partner.

It wouldn't last and it would be very difficult for your child to extract their money.

If you need a mortgage, the mortgage term is based on the age of the oldest buyer, so you won’t be able to have a 25-year term mortgage. If you’re 62, there’s only a few years left before retirement age. The repayment costs will be huge, unless you can prove you will have a good income in retirement and then the term can be longer.

You say a 1 bedroom flat wouldn't be suitable, but what about a 1 bedroom flat with a kitchen/diner where you could turn the dining part into a living section and the living room into a bedroom? DH many years ago had a flat where others nearby had done that - indeed, as a student, we lived in a 2 bed and turned it into a 3 bed by doing exactly that!

@fairytailcat
"I think you should buy a small 2 bed with a mortgage
Your child can pay rent"

If I was able to do that I wouldn't be in the predicament I'm in. I don't earn enough on my own to get a mortgage big enough for a 2-bed house, hence my post.

@MistyMountainTop Yes, I've thought about this but we're both grown adults and don't imagine we could cope with this living situation. I did it when I was a student too but I'm now 62 😄.

Thinking more and more I'm going to wait and continue renting in the meantime...